Being so into clothing

amother

Wed, Jun 22 2022, 7:55 pm

Why do some people invest so much time, money and energy on clothing? I'm especially surprised when super frum people are like this, because come on, why such a big stress on gashmius? My super yeshivish sister in law is constantly busy with shopping for beautiful clothes and of course all the kids need to match/ coordinate etc... I just don't get it...

amother

Glitter

Wed, Jun 22 2022, 8:28 pm

Remember folks being yeshivish isn’t a measure of how religious you are!

But, I hear what you’re saying OP. I had a teacher in my BY high school who never wore the same outfit twice. I always wanted to ask her what her take was on Judaism and materialism….

amother

Glitter

Wed, Jun 22 2022, 8:29 pm

amother [ Sienna ] wrote:

Who said it's a stress? Only a stress when can't find things like.

I don’t think she’s meant stress as in hard to handle. I think it was more like putting strong emphasis on something.

gootlfriends

Wed, Jun 22 2022, 8:32 pm

I don't usually match my children. I only care that they are presentable. But I know many people who do care. I did have my kids all wear the same color to a family event so the pictures would look nice but I don't generally do that.

amother

Seablue

Wed, Jun 22 2022, 8:37 pm

For some reason the most "yeshivish" communities/ people in America have been obsessed with gashmius in recent years. I don't know why no one is making asifas about it (I'm not being sarcastic).

amother

Eggshell

Wed, Jun 22 2022, 9:08 pm

amother [ Seablue ] wrote:

For some reason the most "yeshivish" communities/ people in America have been obsessed with gashmius in recent years. I don't know why no one is making asifas about it (I'm not being sarcastic).

Exactly. I think it's very anti torah to be so obsessed with gashmyus.

behappy2

Wed, Jun 22 2022, 9:21 pm

It comes from very similar ppl living in very close proximity. It brings pressure and judgement. If you lived on a block with 1 chassidish person age 25, 1 chassidish person age 38, 1 chassidish person age 75, 1 Yeshivish person age 30, one Yeshivish person age 55, one Sefardi person age 28, 1 Sefardi person age 40 and a few non frum ppl or non Jewish ppl various ages it would all look very different. 80 percent would be so RELIEVED that they don't need to care. Only 20 percent would still dress up their kids.

amother

Iris

Wed, Jun 22 2022, 9:51 pm

Some people take the "bnei melech" symbolism too far, start thinking that they are literally royalty, and are therefore obligated to dress like royalty. But why pick on clothing? There's no dearth of gashmiyus in housing, household goods, making of simchas, sheitels, jewelry, men's headgear, chosson-kallah gifts, even food. All you need to do is pick up a copy of the ~~Village~~ Lakewood Voice to see gashmiyus over the top in every possible form. Even the recipes are a wonderful metaphor for this: Cheesecake made with a Lotus biscuit crust, an all-cream-cheese filling studded with chocolate chips, topped with a layer of marzipan supporting a layer of crushed toffee candy suspended in dulce de leche, all enrobed in ganache and garnished with whipped cream. Any ONE of those ingredients would make a fine dessert; combining them into one is just plain gluttonous.

Crookshanks

Thu, Jun 23 2022, 1:07 am

Omg y'all cut the judgement. Some people like clothing and pretty things. And find happiness finding matching clothing for their children. It doesn't make you a worse person. I can't believe I actually have to spell out such an elementary concept in this thread.

amother

Denim

Thu, Jun 23 2022, 1:13 am

Dressing well doesn’t necessarily need to be gashmiyus. It makes a person feel good about themselves and that can lead to doing good things because they feel alive. How would you feel being in your pjs the whole day?

And does other people caring about the way they dress affect you in any way? If not then live and let live and stop making issues out of tissues

Crookshanks

Thu, Jun 23 2022, 1:18 am

amother [ Glitter ] wrote:

Possibly her take is that Hashem created us to take pleasure from this world.
But you are soooo smart and holy for thinking of such a smart question Banging head

amother

Lotus

Thu, Jun 23 2022, 1:20 am

mitzva wrote:

It is sad that so many women are so into dressing their children so perfectly due to social pressure.

It's sad that NOT dressing your children perfectly leads to assumptions of neglect. I thankfully live deep OOT and I can allow my kids the freedom to choose their own outfits. If they fit and are clean I'm okay with it even when their creativity is not quite matching. If I lived in-town I could never get away with that. As it is when we come into the city every so often I feel the disdain.

imaima

Thu, Jun 23 2022, 1:31 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

We derive esthetic pleasure from looking congruent and elegant.
For me also, I literally cringe inside and hate it if my look feels wrong

twizzlers1

Thu, Jun 23 2022, 2:43 am

You can come to Israel! And absolutely no pressure here. And go to a wedding and you'll see people in jeans no see people super fancy. Cuz most people know people that live in different circles. But even the area I live in absolutely anything goes and there is zero pressure. People enjoy dressing up and finding the perfect outfit and I don't think there's anything wrong in that either. It's not my thing but the people that really brings them a lot of pleasure. In a pretty harmless way.