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Forum -> Inquiries & Offers -> Lakewood, Toms River & Jackson related Inquiries
What is special about growing up in Lakewood?
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amother
Ultramarine


 

Post Wed, Jun 22 2022, 5:10 pm
Despite our many differences lakewood families lifestyle are pretty similar overall!
Most of lakewood schools have very minor differences.
The abundance of gemachim around town! I grew up out of the country and I live here for 30 years , I'm still blown away with what help people are offering! The gemach list are a few pages long without even mentioning the big organization like hatzolo, chaveirim,bikur cholim, chai lifeline....
Not sure how it would help with making a curricular!
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amother
Hydrangea


 

Post Wed, Jun 22 2022, 5:47 pm
Birdee wrote:
Let's narrow it down to kids growing up around the Yeshiva, mainly with fathers who are learning there.
Then they have BMG in common. Simchas Torah in BMG is pretty incredible. As are watching everyone walk to shul on rosh hashana and yom kippur

But like keym said a lot of school aged kids don’t have that experience. We lived in the neighborhood longer than most and my younger kids don’t even remember.
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amother
Heather


 

Post Wed, Jun 22 2022, 11:46 pm
I grew up in lakewood with my father learning (and he still is!). I am very patriotic about lakewood and I am happy to be raising my family here. One thing I like is that there is such a good infrastructure for frum Jews. So many resources. I also think that our schools and yeshivos set standards for other places (feel free to disagree). Of course there are many flaws but which place doesn’t have? I actually work with children who are struggling with the system so I am quite aware of the flaws but there is so much to work with!
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amother
Yellow


 

Post Wed, Jun 22 2022, 11:47 pm
every community has an unspoken culture.
I hope you find a writer type of person who can actually express it.
We are a chasidus that has a large group in Lakewood. there are cultural differences and different experiences for children raised in Lakewood versus the city.
You could actually feel it when spending time with each of the groups.
There are always positives and negatives to each group.
I would never put it on a public forum, though. Because people tend to see the bad versus the good and I it will usually turn into badmouthing.
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amother
Nasturtium


 

Post Thu, Jun 23 2022, 1:01 am
byisrael wrote:
When I grew up it was living in a town where everyone is connected to yeshiva, but I don't think that is accurate anymore.

My gut response was "Torah Ugedula". In some communities you have pressue for gashmiyus, and wealth is valued, in other place Torah is the highest value and there are pressures related to that (push kids to hard, comparing to others...)
Lakewood is a unique place where everyone wants both, not realizing that for the Hamon Am one comes on the cheshbon of the other.

Lakewood is the only place I know off you will find kids learning mesilos yesharim in elementry school and have people clamoring to get in to such a school.

Guess where I went.

I doubt that's the answer you where looking for.


And are you saying that that's a good thing or a bad thing?
I went there too.
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byisrael




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 23 2022, 1:26 am
amother [ Nasturtium ] wrote:
And are you saying that that's a good thing or a bad thing?
I went there too.


Rav Shimshon Pincus has a whole piece on teaching ideas to children before they are old and mature enough to really comprehend and apply what they are learning, and how much damage it causes because you are jaded to the ideas. I find that I struggle to connect as an adult to things I learnt over and over as a kid.
And Mesilos Yesharim did nothing to address issues such as pursue of materialism, bullying ect. in myy class so I really don't know what the point was, other than to be the "amazing school" where the kids "learn so much".....
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amother
Aconite


 

Post Thu, Jun 23 2022, 7:48 am
byisrael wrote:
Rav Shimshon Pincus has a whole piece on teaching ideas to children before they are old and mature enough to really comprehend and apply what they are learning, and how much damage it causes because you are jaded to the ideas. I find that I struggle to connect as an adult to things I learnt over and over as a kid.
And Mesilos Yesharim did nothing to address issues such as pursue of materialism, bullying ect. in myy class so I really don't know what the point was, other than to be the "amazing school" where the kids "learn so much".....


Lakewood in a nutshell
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amother
Navyblue


 

Post Thu, Jun 23 2022, 7:52 am
amother [ Heather ] wrote:
I grew up in lakewood with my father learning (and he still is!). I am very patriotic about lakewood and I am happy to be raising my family here. One thing I like is that there is such a good infrastructure for frum Jews. So many resources. I also think that our schools and yeshivos set standards for other places (feel free to disagree). Of course there are many flaws but which place doesn’t have? I actually work with children who are struggling with the system so I am quite aware of the flaws but there is so much to work with!


I'm disagreeing. I grew up in Monsey and graduated from BYM..... and I find that most of the girls' high schools in Lakewood are run by Mechanchim from Monsey. I always feel like Monsey set the standard. Just FYI....
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amother
Navyblue


 

Post Thu, Jun 23 2022, 7:52 am
amother [ Nasturtium ] wrote:
And are you saying that that's a good thing or a bad thing?
I went there too.


I'm curious which school that is.
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amother
Nasturtium


 

Post Thu, Jun 23 2022, 9:49 am
amother [ Navyblue ] wrote:
I'm curious which school that is.

If you post under your screen name I can pm you. Since everyone is apparently bashing it not gonna post publicly.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 23 2022, 9:52 am
amother [ Nasturtium ] wrote:
If you post under your screen name I can pm you. Since everyone is apparently bashing it not gonna post publicly.


I'm also curious, which elementary school teaches Mesilas Yesharim?
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 23 2022, 10:08 am
byisrael wrote:
Rav Shimshon Pincus has a whole piece on teaching ideas to children before they are old and mature enough to really comprehend and apply what they are learning, and how much damage it causes because you are jaded to the ideas. I find that I struggle to connect as an adult to things I learnt over and over as a kid.
And Mesilos Yesharim did nothing to address issues such as pursue of materialism, bullying ect. in myy class so I really don't know what the point was, other than to be the "amazing school" where the kids "learn so much".....


I've thought a bit about this post and just want to say....I don't think there's anything we can teach kids that would guarantee prevent struggles with connection as an adult. I think for many of us the struggle to connect is a part of life and what Hashem put us here for (Adam L'amal Yulad).

I actually also went to an elementary school that taught Mesillas Yesharim (not in Lakewood) and I think there's value to introducing it to upper elementary students, with of course the knowledge that it's being taught at an elementary level (much as learning Navi is. There's so much more to Nach that we can relearn and go deeper as adults.)
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banana123




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 23 2022, 10:14 am
I don't think this is for a curriculum. That makes no sense.

I think this is someone who is curious (nothing wrong with that, so long as you are honest about it) and wants to know what's so special about growing up in Lakewood.
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amother
Caramel


 

Post Thu, Jun 23 2022, 10:21 am
byisrael wrote:
Rav Shimshon Pincus has a whole piece on teaching ideas to children before they are old and mature enough to really comprehend and apply what they are learning, and how much damage it causes because you are jaded to the ideas. I find that I struggle to connect as an adult to things I learnt over and over as a kid.
And Mesilos Yesharim did nothing to address issues such as pursue of materialism, bullying ect. in myy class so I really don't know what the point was, other than to be the "amazing school" where the kids "learn so much".....


fwiw I can tell which high school you went to as well from your original post. only one high school in lakewood would use the term "torah ugedulah". and they don't use it correctly either. every lakewood school has their own mishegas. don't bother being resentful of the school you went to, you would have at least one issue with any place.
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mitzva




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 23 2022, 10:42 am
Chayalle wrote:
I'm also curious, which elementary school teaches Mesilas Yesharim?

by the way, there is a beautiful mesilas yesharim program put together by a woman in Lakewood for chasidish yiddish speaking schools. My daughter learned it in 4th grade elementary! The girls made a beautiful keepsake scrapbook.
It was a special, beautiful project geared for 3rd through 5th grades.
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ShishKabob




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 23 2022, 11:15 am
amother [ Seablue ] wrote:
Take a drive down Forest and Madison etc at 9am and you will be enveloped in the beauty of seeing so many bnei torah rushing off to learn.
I don't live in Lakewood, but I vote for this line. The other things about gemachim etc. are also applicable to other places. I think seeing people in droves going to learn is the differentiation.
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amother
Clover


 

Post Thu, Jun 23 2022, 11:18 am
Growing up in Lakewood I was always looking for that pride, to feel special to be part of a Toradik family. My friends whose fathers did not learn looked up at my father, but I didn't. I just didn't feel it or care for it but I really wanted to, really badly.

Not sure how that would help you, but that's my experience.
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keym




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 23 2022, 11:29 am
ShishKabob wrote:
I don't live in Lakewood, but I vote for this line. The other things about gemachim etc. are also applicable to other places. I think seeing people in droves going to learn is the differentiation.


But like I said, the average 2nd grader in Lakewood won't relate to this idea.
I have a 2nd grader in a very yeshivish school. Out of his class of 30, at least 15 father's are still learning ft, and another 5/8 have fathers learning pt.
Yet out of his class of 30, there are 3 boys who live walkable from BMG (any of the batei Medrash).
They have tremendous pride in their fathers learning. When the class goes to visit or gets a visit from the Roshei Yeshiva, it's a huge thing.
Yet most of them have absolutely no recollection of living in yeshiva area, can't relate to watching the men all rushing to learn.

That's why I asked OP what age, what gender and what type of curriculum is this.
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amother
Green


 

Post Thu, Jun 23 2022, 12:48 pm
Don't know if this is still true,

Someone told me years ago that her kid said

In Brooklyn the mommy's wheel the strollers
In Lakewood the tottie's wheel the strollers.
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amother
Ginger


 

Post Thu, Jun 23 2022, 1:18 pm
banana123 wrote:
I don't think this is for a curriculum. That makes no sense.

I think this is someone who is curious (nothing wrong with that, so long as you are honest about it) and wants to know what's so special about growing up in Lakewood.

I agree.
It's not how curriculum is written or commissioned, either. It costs a huge amount to commission a curriculum, 1 school simply would not have enough money. It's also extremely unlikely that all the Lakewood schools are getting together to pay someone to write a curriculum that will work for all of them. Even if so, when you commission a curriculum you tell the company what the thrust of it is and what you want highlighted.

Companies also don't just decide to put together a curriculum on their own if they don't know in advance they have a sure customer. And they have a very specific subject/thrust of the matter.

However, there have been a number of threads started in past couple weeks asking about various Jewish school curriculums. Wonder if they are related. If someone is putting out feelers and trying to get a business off the ground. But selling curriculum only to "Lakewood" schools is such a small niche of an anyway small market, it's going to be hard to get that off the ground.
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