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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)
I need help with 12 yo DS, devastating family
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amother
Azalea


 

Post Sun, Jun 26 2022, 8:59 pm
It sounds like the psychiatrist really didn't do a thorough evaluation. Could you invest in a good neuropsychologist for a very complete evaluation which will help guide you towards the proper medication and therapy methods?
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amother
Springgreen


 

Post Sun, Jun 26 2022, 10:07 pm
First of all, hugs.

Second, for anyone struggling (not necessarily OP) what I'm about to contribute is extreme, and therefore would only be recommended in most severe cases, etc, and with full guidance of someone more experienced and wiser, but: I have experience with working with youth with extreme behavioral, emotional, and psychological complications. At times, some had to be hospitalized until they were stable enough to be safe at home. Many admissions were facilitated by law enforcement, in that parents called for help when they couldn't contain their child safely at home, and law enforcement would come and attempt to deescalate, and if unsuccessful, transport the child. Other times, parents brought their children directly. Sometimes they'd go via the ER, other times direct admissions to psychiatric units or neurobehavioral units (which, sadly, often have long waiting lists).

I'm not saying this is appropriate or necessary in OP's case, it's usually for extreme aggression/violence, and typically is after every avenue has been exhausted, but parents should know that, if it chas veshalom became that bad, the option exists.

Hatzlacha to all the suffering families!
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amother
Thistle


 

Post Sun, Jun 26 2022, 11:38 pm
"Transforming the difficult child" by Howard Glasser was very helpful for us.
Also try Nutritional lithium. (Low dose lithium otc)
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nylon




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 27 2022, 12:11 am
This doesn't sound like PANS/PANDAS (which TBH seems to be suggested too often on this forum). PANDAS is characterized by a very sudden onset of OCD-type symptoms. This is defiance based, which may or may not be related to anxiety.

OP, you need a new psychiatrist who will do a proper evaluation. Maybe he has ADHD maybe not but there is some cause for his violent and defiant behavior. I would think medication and a good therapist (not through school) are what he needs, and possibly a family based therapy program. I can't tell from the symptoms if PDA-type autism is a possibility, it may be. In PDA the behaviors are rooted in an anxiety response.
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amother
Marigold


 

Post Mon, Jun 27 2022, 11:37 am
nylon wrote:
This doesn't sound like PANS/PANDAS (which TBH seems to be suggested too often on this forum). PANDAS is characterized by a very sudden onset of OCD-type symptoms. This is defiance based, which may or may not be related to anxiety.

OP, you need a new psychiatrist who will do a proper evaluation. Maybe he has ADHD maybe not but there is some cause for his violent and defiant behavior. I would think medication and a good therapist (not through school) are what he needs, and possibly a family based therapy program. I can't tell from the symptoms if PDA-type autism is a possibility, it may be. In PDA the behaviors are rooted in an anxiety response.
Defiance and pda can both be types of ocd, or closely related to ocd in the sense that the brain is stuck in fight flight. Even if not, defiance and pda are both classic pandas symptoms. Not just ocd. It doesn’t need to be sudden onset either. Either way, OP has expressed that her child has other symptoms of ocd, including religious ocd. This presentation is highly suggestive of pans or pandas or some other form of brain inflammation.

OP this is an incredible book that can help you understand what is happening in your child’s brain and also what may be causing it. The author has an active practice in NYS helping heal children with neuroimmune disorders. https://www.amazon.com/Brain-I.....r=8-1
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amother
Watermelon


 

Post Mon, Jun 27 2022, 1:50 pm
Hugs, hugs, hugs.

I suggest you get a therapist for you as parents and possibly siblings too.

Strengthen the people around him

Hugs again
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amother
Jean


 

Post Mon, Jun 27 2022, 2:12 pm
amother [ Thistle ] wrote:
"Transforming the difficult child" by Howard Glasser was very helpful for us.
Also try Nutritional lithium. (Low dose lithium otc)
Do you have a specific link for the otc nutritional lithium? How effective is it? Do you use it in conjunction with psych meds?
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amother
Powderblue


 

Post Mon, Jun 27 2022, 4:16 pm
I can tell you from experience that the side effects of not using medication when a child is high risk are much, much worse than the side effects of any psychiatric medication. Please treat this brain disorder the same way you would treat any other life threatening cardiac, kidney, or seizure disorder. It's that serious.
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amother
Gladiolus


 

Post Mon, Jun 27 2022, 4:45 pm
amother [ Jean ] wrote:
Do you have a specific link for the otc nutritional lithium? How effective is it? Do you use it in conjunction with psych meds?

I'm not an expert, but I don't think it can be used in conjunction with psych meds.

Without knowing anything about your dc, the remedy anacardium given 3x/day may help.

Some other supplements that may have a calming effect are
Magnesium taurate or magnesium threonate
Methyl b complex
Gaba
5htp
Nac

Some herbs that may help are
Ashwaganda
Rhodiola
Valerian root
Lemon balm
St John's wart

Not telling you what to do just giving you some options that you can look into and try if you think they will be a good fit for your child, while you figure out which way to pursue this for more long-term results.
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