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Forum -> Working Women
Are you always late?



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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Jul 04 2022, 5:50 pm
Are you a person who is naturally always late, always fighting time? Do you have any tips or ideas that have actually worked in helping you change?
This is one of my biggest struggles since forever. (Not only to work, but to pretty much everthing in my life). It is becoming a problem in certain areas, and I'm feeling pretty discouraged.
Please be nice. I'm a little down about it right now.
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amother
Pear


 

Post Mon, Jul 04 2022, 5:52 pm
Never

I think some people have unrealistic sense of how long things take

I have a really good sense of time.
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amother
Green


 

Post Mon, Jul 04 2022, 5:57 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Are you a person who is naturally always late, always fighting time? Do you have any tips or ideas that have actually worked in helping you change?
This is one of my biggest struggles since forever. (Not only to work, but to pretty much everthing in my life). It is becoming a problem in certain areas, and I'm feeling pretty discouraged.
Please be nice. I'm a little down about it right now.

I have a poor sense of time.
I wish I could learn some skills for time management too!
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zigi




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 04 2022, 7:33 pm
Add in extra time as a buffer. Note how long it actually takes to get somewhere. Best case scenario and worst case. Don't do anything before you need to leave. The little tasks can be side tracking also set alarms as reminder@. I struggle with this. These tips work when I follow them.
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amother
Snow


 

Post Mon, Jul 04 2022, 7:38 pm
1. Set your clock ahead anywhere from 5 to 20 minutes, or even 30, depending on how late you usually run.
2. Set your bedroom alarm clock for 5 to 30 minutes earlier than you do now.
3. Calculate how long it takes you to get where you're going. Add 20-50% depending on whether you tend to run into traffic. Subtract that from the time you need to arrive at your destination. Leave home 10 minutes earlier than the time you calculated.
4. Set an alarm on your phone for 10 minutes before you calculated you need to leave home, plus another 3 minutes before.

5. Ask someone you know who's always on time how long it takes to get from Point A to Point B. Add 15%. If they're always early, add only 10%.
6. use a stopwatch or stopwatch program on your phone to time how long it takes you to accomplish different tasks. Write them down on a chart. When planning, always add at least 5 minutes or 15%, whichever is MORE, to the time you allot to the task. Then add another 5 minutes on top of that.
7. Do as much in advance as possible:

--The night before, lay out your clothes right down to your underwear and earrings. Check that your hose and shoelaces, if any, aren't ripped, your buttons aren't loose, zippers aren't stuck, hem not coming down, etc.
--Prep your breakfast: measure out your cereal or whatever into a bowl, put a lid on it, and either refrigerate if perishable or leave on the kitchen table together with the appropriate utensils. Load up your coffee machine if you use one, fill the carafe or reservoir with water.
--Pack your purse and whatever other bag you use, and park them together with your keys, sunglasses, phone or whatever other accessories you need in a designated place such as your dresser. I don't recommend keeping your purse and keys near the door because if an intruder should break in while you're sleeping, all your stuff is right there just waiting to be snatched.

8. Set a timer with alarm for all your tasks. yes, I mean take a timer into the bathroom. If you timed your usual shower and it took 7 minutes, set the timer for 6 minutes 30 seconds and get out of the shower the moment the timer goes off. Do the same for doing your makeup and whatever other tasks are part of your morning routine. Practice doing these things quickly rather than lingering over them.

Remind yourself that IT ALWAYS TAKES LONGER THAN YOU EXPECT so plan accordingly. People who are always prompt always add an extra margin of safety to their planned travel time. Many chronic latecomers know exactly how long things take--in an ideal world-- and leave no margin of error. If, for example, they know it takes 3 minutes 20 seconds to walk from their house to the train station and the train leaves at 6:45, they leave the house at 6:45 minus 3 minutes 20 seconds. If they drop their bag and have to pick up the sunglasses, lipstick and keys that fell out of it, they lose 10 seconds and miss their train. Or they forget that they timed the walk when they were 20 lbs. lighter and wearing running shoes, not high-heeled pumps.

9. Don't try to "chap arein" a little bit of laundry folding or other household chores before you leave. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200. Just get gone.
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amother
Petunia


 

Post Mon, Jul 04 2022, 7:59 pm
My husband is like this. I find it’s underestimating now long things take.

Time yourself one day doing all parts of your normal routine. Not in a rush. You might surprise yourself. You thought it takes four minutes to take a shower and six minutes to do your makeup. But it really takes you ten minutes to shower and fifteen to do your makeup. You can’t allocate enough time if you don’t know how much time to allocate.
You think it takes twelve minutes to walk to x. It takes twenty. Etc.
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amother
Salmon


 

Post Tue, Jul 05 2022, 4:00 pm
I tend to be late. Sigh. It's not easy.

In addition to the practical suggestions that people have given, I learned (in the Possible You seminar) that in order to change this type of behavior I need to change my inner negative belief about myself from always late to ____?___ I'm not sure what. I have not done this work yet so cannot point you to my success, but considering how intractable my lateness appears to me to be, I feel like some sort of thought change will be necessary.

Hatzlacha to you.
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nechamashifra




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 05 2022, 4:09 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Are you a person who is naturally always late, always fighting time? Do you have any tips or ideas that have actually worked in helping you change?
This is one of my biggest struggles since forever. (Not only to work, but to pretty much everthing in my life). It is becoming a problem in certain areas, and I'm feeling pretty discouraged.
Please be nice. I'm a little down about it right now.


Calculate backwards. You need to be somewhere at 9am, how long is the commute including traffic? (let's say 30 mins). Leave the house at 8:10am so that you have extra time for long red lights, and parking.
Worse case scenario you get there too early and have 10 to 15 mins to play wordle or adjust your lipstick.
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amother
Salmon


 

Post Tue, Jul 05 2022, 4:24 pm
nechamashifra wrote:
Calculate backwards. You need to be somewhere at 9am, how long is the commute including traffic? (let's say 30 mins). Leave the house at 8:10am so that you have extra time for long red lights, and parking.
Worse case scenario you get there too early and have 10 to 15 mins to play wordle or adjust your lipstick.


I noticed that I happen to really HATE waiting. It feels torturous (not really torture, but you know, difficult). Although sometimes I can enjoy being somewhere early.

Just pointing it out, as, if unconscious, severe discomfort while waiting may have more power than if it's acknowledged and dealt with.
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amother
Junglegreen


 

Post Tue, Jul 05 2022, 4:37 pm
To be honest, big factor for me is lack of motivation. I resent my job. I hate having to give short shrift to my kids and house. I hate having no down time for myself. I also need my sleep (I'm pregnant) and I won't set my alarm for 6am or stay up late preparing. So none of these tips will get at the root of the issue for me.
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amother
Snow


 

Post Tue, Jul 05 2022, 6:52 pm
I hate waiting and wasting time. That's why I'm never without something to read or write or otherwise occupy my time. Years ago I crocheted, embroidered, wrote poems and letters. Today I study languages with a program on a smartphone.
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 05 2022, 6:54 pm
amother [ Junglegreen ] wrote:
To be honest, big factor for me is lack of motivation. I resent my job. I hate having to give short shrift to my kids and house. I hate having no down time for myself. I also need my sleep (I'm pregnant) and I won't set my alarm for 6am or stay up late preparing. So none of these tips will get at the root of the issue for me.


So start looking for another job or figure out what you'd have to do to make being a sahm feasible. Don't curse the darkness; light a candle.
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tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 05 2022, 6:58 pm
I struggle with this too.
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amother
NeonOrange


 

Post Tue, Jul 05 2022, 8:52 pm
I agree with the other poster saying sometimes there’s an underlying thing we’re trying to avoid by not being early which inevitably makes us be late. I have slight social avoidance so I don’t want to be early and just hang around but I end up being late which can sometimes be so awkward so I lose either way 😞
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 06 2022, 8:39 am
Hating your job may explain your chronic lateness to work, but doesn't explain chronic lateness to everything else. IME, latecomers are late to everything. I personally never met anyone who was late to just one thing and prompt in all other matters.
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amother
Foxglove


 

Post Wed, Jul 27 2022, 10:18 pm
I’m the late one.
I drive everyone mad. But at least I’m trying to change.
My appointments are written down half hour earlier.
My husband tells me we’re leaving to the simcha an hour before he wants to.
My clock is a few minutes faster.
I give myself early deadlines for many things.
I’m trying to teach myself to stop the one-more-thing marathon.
I accept that about myself as much as possible and try not to beat myself up.
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amother
Salmon


 

Post Thu, Jul 28 2022, 6:41 am
amother [ Foxglove ] wrote:

I accept that about myself as much as possible and try not to beat myself up.


👍 That's very important.
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