Don't visit people when you're sick (or at least warn ppl)

amother

Wed, Jul 20 2022, 7:02 pm

A friend and her husband stayed with us for a weekend last month. They did not tell us that they had a cold the week before they visited. (It was not COVID, but there are other viruses out there!!!).

A few days after they left I felt congested. This escalated to the point that I was coughing constantly. I was exhausted and cold 24/7, even in summer heat. I had to take a week off work, and was not doing well at work for two weeks after. I went to the doctor and got medication that helped, but not a lot. I had to go to urgent care on Shabbos after I felt sharp pains during a particularly bad coughing spell and couldn't breathe without it hurting. They found that I had cracked a rib. There's no fix for it, so I had to take painkillers and suffer throug for weeks. When you break a rib you are at higher risk for pneumonia, which I fortunately did not get BH. But I was essentially housebound for over a month due to this cold.

DH also got sick, but not as bad as me.

I have been in serious pain, miserable, and lost money due to missed work and emergency doctor's visits.

All of this could have been avoided if my friend had just told me they were sick! We could have pushed off the visit for another week or two, or shortened the visit to one day and spent it outside.

She mentioned it casually when I talked to her about how sick and miserable I was. "Oh yeah, DH and I had that before we visited." Can't Believe It

Thanks a lot.

amother

Tan

Wed, Jul 20 2022, 7:15 pm

amother [ Geranium ] wrote:

If they thought they were over it, I don't really understand what they did wrong. Why are you assuming you got it from them? I'm sure you come in contact with viruses all the time...

I totally agree with OP. I get that some people are more chillaxed when I comes to germs and viruses but please, have that attitude about yourself and not when it can affect others! I upsets me when guests show up and eat a small amount because they are getting over a stomach bug and have been vomiting for the past 48 hours and aren’t fully back to themselves. What are they thinking?!?! That someone else should share in that lovely experience?
Your guests should have called you and told you they were getting over a cold and asked if it was ok for them to come.
Anything less is selfish.
Feel better OP!

amother

Razzmatazz

Wed, Jul 20 2022, 7:19 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

They weren't fully over it. They were still a little sniffly but didn't say anything. I didn't notice.

If it was past a few days, then there's a good chance they weren't contagious. The symptoms last well past the point of being contagious. The possibility that you picked this up elsewhere is equally probable.

If they were though in the few days of the virus, then I totally agree with you.

amother

Banana

Wed, Jul 20 2022, 7:20 pm

amother [ Tan ] wrote:

A cold and a stomach bug are not the same. It's called the common cold for a reason: everybody gets them. How can you compare that to somebody bathroom bound who's stuck vomiting and feverish an entire day?

What OP went through is awful but it sounds like she picked up some other virus on her own rather then her friend's cold.

That aside OP, I do sincerely hope you feel better soon. ♥

amother

Razzmatazz

Wed, Jul 20 2022, 7:22 pm

amother [ Banana ] wrote:

People can react to viruses differently, so this point doesn't discount OP's words. But it doesn't sound like the guests were contagious if they came down with a virus a week before.

amother

Winterberry

Wed, Jul 20 2022, 7:34 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Thanks a lot.

This is always a pet peeve of mine… even mothers who send their kids to school sick so the whole class catches it. It’s a special sin where your selfishness and lack of care towards others’ health makes you do things like that. Disgusting.

amother

Begonia

Wed, Jul 20 2022, 10:05 pm

amother [ Tan ] wrote:

Couldn’t have said it better!!
People really have to be more cognizant of the fact that germs DO spread and that even tho you may not care if your children and husband get a cold, WE DO CARE. so please let us know if your coming over with a cold or something of that sort.
(I would’ve expected better post COVID, when germs were on the forefront of peoples mind….)

amother

Begonia

Wed, Jul 20 2022, 10:08 pm

amother [ Banana ] wrote:

Huh?! I don’t care how common the cold is, I FOR ONE don’t want to get it. True, it’s not life threatening but it’s still a pain in the backside and a real nuisance to daily functioning for some.
I HATE THE CALLOUSNESS OF SOME PEOPLE WHEN IT COMES TO A COLD.
I mean just who in the world are you to decide that since it’s common, I can contaminate everyone else?

amother

Snow

Wed, Jul 20 2022, 11:36 pm

OP, if they were actively showing symptoms I would 100% be with you on this. I have people come over coughing, sneezing, complaining their stomach has been feeling funny, with sore throats, etc. and I cannot for the life of me understand how they think it's okay.

But it sounds like your guests were already recovered. Plus keep in mind people are most contagious before symptoms show up. So it is highly unlikely they got you sick and if I was a week out of a cold and symptom free I wouldn't even think to change my plans.

You are far more likely to have gotten sick just being out and about in the world, from people you don't even know. Perhaps you touched a shopping cart or elevator button and then touched your face and that was that. Sometimes it's as simple as that.

Refuah sheleimah!

amother

Brown

Thu, Jul 21 2022, 6:42 am

First of all, there's nothing you can do about it now. If it happened, it was meant to be. No point in being angry. They were just the messenger.
Second, it is good you are making others aware that some people are more sensitive to colds. However, should someone avoid going places because they have the sniffles?

the world's best mom

Thu, Jul 21 2022, 11:47 am

There is a huge difference between a cold and other viruses. Kids are not expected to stay home from school every time they need to blow their nose. They just bring a box of tissues with them to school. If a kid has other symptoms like fever or vomiting, then they need to stay home until they are feeling better for 24 hours. Same for adults in other situations.

None of us wants to get sick, but light exposure to germs on a regular basis helps to strengthen the immune system so you can fight illness better. Someone who tries to live in a bubble and never come in contact with anyone who blew their nose last week is not doing themselves a favor.

amother

Outerspace

Fri, Jul 22 2022, 11:01 am

OP I completely agree with you.

There is a difference between blowing your nose a few times and having a cold. Some colds can be quite debilitating. Someone who is currently sick should leave it to the person they're meeting to decide whether they are OK with potentially exposed or not.

Yes, we are exposed all the time without knowing it, at school, in supermarkets, at shul etc, but that's different to inevitably being in close contact while visiting with someone.