My family is going to go hungry

Bnei Berak 10

Mon, Jul 25 2022, 4:03 pm

amother [ Honeysuckle ] wrote:

And, if this child refuses to eat a food unless everyone around him eats the same, that's going to be a problem in the future (and isn't fair to his siblings, either). It's setting him up for major problems. And it sounds like he's not a toddler where that would be more manageable.

Not only a problem in the future but in the present as well!
The main problem isn't food related. It's a matter of child rearing or the lack of.

Rubies

Mon, Jul 25 2022, 4:06 pm

amother [ Honeysuckle ] wrote:

She said way back that her "young son" got a heter to eat chicken. But that last year he refused to eat it because he only will eat it, if the others at the meal are eating the same food. Op wanted the whole family to get a heter to eat chicken so they can still eat the same meal together.

Hmm.
I take it back then. No confusion.

teachkids

Mon, Jul 25 2022, 4:08 pm

Also going to add, my 3 year old is only adventurous about trying a new food if everyone else is eating it, but has her 3 go to meals. When she tries dinner and doesn't like it, she can eat one of those meals easily (I keep them prepped in the fridge. ).
What are the foods your son will eat happily even if no one else is eating? And let him eat those. Even if it's yogurt or cheese sticks for a week, it's fine.

She also knows that she's allergic to some foods and she can't eat them because it'll give her a booboo.

amother

Mon, Jul 25 2022, 4:49 pm

Thank you to everyone who was supportive. I was really upset last night. BH now I’m feeling somewhat better. Thank you for recognizing that it is hard, or at least that life can feel overwhelming sometimes even if it “shouldn’t “.

Kudos to everyone who judged my son and my parenting. You must be really skilled diagnosticians to judge us based on so little information. Luckily I have actual doctors and therapists who surprisingly give very different advice then you do. But thank you for judging. Always appreciated.

As far as the advice to find a new Rabbi, we asked someone who knows our family well and is a big expert. And apparently a Machmir. It doesn’t feel right to ask someone else. Mitzvos aren’t always easy…

I appreciate the suggestions for meals but we have more allergies than I listed and most of the suggestions won’t work for us. Which is okay, I was looking for emotional support, not menus. So looks like my son is going to be eating cereal for a week. I’ll eat dairy. My husband will have to eat out of the house. We’ll all be a little hungry. We’ll survive.

amother

Lightpink

Mon, Jul 25 2022, 4:56 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Glad that you are in a better place now. I don't think people were judging your son or your parenting. I think we were put off by your saying that your family was going to starve, something that an adult should not be saying under any circumstances unless ch"v that was actually going to happen.

amother

Vermilion

Mon, Jul 25 2022, 5:02 pm

amother [ Razzmatazz ] wrote:

type O's need animal protein to live.
they can never be vegetarians.

it is no chochma to be a vegetarian if you are other than a type O.

So I'm not alive right now? Because I thought I'm living, but I'm a type o and I'm eating a vegan diet. And I feel great.

amother

Lightblue

Mon, Jul 25 2022, 5:33 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I appreciate the suggestions for meals but we have more allergies than I listed and most of the suggestions won’t work for us. Which is okay, I was looking for emotional support, not menus. So looks like my son is going to be eating cereal for a week. I’ll eat dairy. My husband will have to eat out of the house. We’ll all be a little hungry. We’ll survive.

cbg

Mon, Jul 25 2022, 5:48 pm

[quote="amother [ Lightblue ]"]You can also suppliment with lots of extra carby snacks- either fruits and veggies or crackers and granola bars, or extra dairy products that you usually don't buy. Carbs instead of protein for a week won't kill anyone.[/quote]

Actually not true-
Carbs can be dangerous for some ppl
There are kids with epilepsy that cant be controlled by medicine and can only be controlled by eliminating carbs completely

But as OP said her child got a heter to eat chicken, just not the rest of the family

OP can you list what things your child CAN eat besides chicken and cereal

Last edited by cbg on Mon, Jul 25 2022, 5:51 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Molasses

Mon, Jul 25 2022, 5:50 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

So maybe you want to change the thread title now that you realized none of you will starve BH?

amother

Tangerine

Mon, Jul 25 2022, 5:51 pm

I get what you're saying, OP. It's stressful to go through a restricted food time, like the nine days or like Pesach, when a preferred food item for picky eaters is now cut out of the diet.

But really, teaching your children and HUSBAND (sheesh!) flexibility is an important skill in life. Being rigid that all you can eat is chicken will not serve them well in the long run, so this is an opportunity!

I have children that are so picky I've brought them to get psychological therapy (and bloodwork). We don't have allergies, but we might as well for all the food items they eat.

You've gotten a lot of good responses in this thread. I get that you want to vent, but maybe look at this as an opportunity, and try some of these ideas! Just try one of these ideas, don't get overwhelmed.

teachkids

Mon, Jul 25 2022, 5:54 pm

[quote="cbg"]

amother [ Lightblue ] wrote:

You can also suppliment with lots of extra carby snacks- either fruits and veggies or crackers and granola bars, or extra dairy products that you usually don't buy. Carbs instead of protein for a week won't kill anyone.[/quote]

Actually not true-
Carbs can be dangerous for some ppl
There are kids with epilepsy that cant be controlled by medicine and can only be controlled by eliminating carbs completely

But as OP said her child got a heter to eat chicken, just not the rest of the family

OP can you list what things your child CAN eat besides chicken and cereal

I assume OP would have told us (and probably gotten the heter she wanted) if anyone was so restricted from eating carbs.

Her big concern is that the child WON'T eat chicken if no one else is.

amother

Steel

Mon, Jul 25 2022, 6:47 pm

Just wanted to chime in...

To everyone saying kids won't starve if offered healthy options..

My two-year-old ended up in the hospital with severe malnutrition because one day he stopped eating anything but three food items. No matter what we did, no matter how hard we tried. He had health problems and serious sensory problems. We just couldn't get him to eat and didn't want to force feed him.

Once he left the hospital he got into food therapy. He now (four) eats about 6-7 things. For the last two years our rav has let me serve him PBJ on bread during Pesach. He literally will not eat anything else and because he has been hospitalized, we're allowed. Some may not agree with that but it's what we've had to do. Just so everyone knows sometimes these food aversions can be very serious.

imorethanamother

Mon, Jul 25 2022, 8:34 pm

amother [ Steel ] wrote:

Please PM me.