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-> Parenting our children
-> Infants
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amother
OP
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 Mon, Jul 25 2022, 10:36 pm
I know I Knw, one is really ô late to start....
He was nursing and sleeping with me in my bed until now and now I have a spoiled kid that refuses to sleep in his crib and wakes every few hours.
Reason I pushed it off so long I because I don't have a room to put him in he's still in our room. I can put him with my toddler but then I'll have two kids screaming the whole night!!
Please help!
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BrisketBoss
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Mon, Jul 25 2022, 10:51 pm
He's not 'spoiled.' He's a normal baby.
It might work out better than you think to put him with your toddler. There was a recent thread like that. I did it when my baby was about 9mo, it went quite well.
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amother
Peony
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Mon, Jul 25 2022, 11:57 pm
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Don't go to him when he cries! It will tear your heart for two days and then it will be the best thing you ever did.
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amother
Raspberry
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Tue, Jul 26 2022, 12:18 am
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Following, dealing with the same thing now but I really cannot handle letting him just scream for hours.....
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amother
Opal
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Tue, Jul 26 2022, 12:23 am
| amother [ Peony ] wrote: | | Don't go to him when he cries! It will tear your heart for two days and then it will be the best thing you ever did. |
Horrible advice:(
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amother
Opal
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Tue, Jul 26 2022, 12:24 am
| BrisketBoss wrote: | He's not 'spoiled.' He's a normal baby.
It might work out better than you think to put him with your toddler. There was a recent thread like that. I did it when my baby was about 9mo, it went quite well. |
This! Your baby is very normal. Transition him slowly in a way that doesn’t traumatize.
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amother
Hyacinth
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Tue, Jul 26 2022, 12:28 am
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Same here! 14 month old won't go to sleep unless he's nursed to sleep and wakes multiple times. Same goes for naps. I tried to do a slow transition and not let him latch back on when he wakes during the night, but he cried for so long. I can't handle the cry it out method... Anyone have any wisdom to share?
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BrisketBoss
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Tue, Jul 26 2022, 1:37 am
| amother [ Hyacinth ] wrote: | | Same here! 14 month old won't go to sleep unless he's nursed to sleep and wakes multiple times. Same goes for naps. I tried to do a slow transition and not let him latch back on when he wakes during the night, but he cried for so long. I can't handle the cry it out method... Anyone have any wisdom to share? |
I wait until baby is tired (has been up for a reasonable amount of time and is displaying sleepiness cues) then put them down. If I time it right, baby only cries for a few minutes. If it gets to be about 20mins (I recently read about the cycle of crying, how long each lasts for but I am having trouble finding it...it's just something I feel) and it just seems to not be working then I go ahead and nurse the baby to sleep or try again later.
When baby wakes at night to nurse, I always nurse them until they're done. I'm ok with doing it and I wouldn't be ok with not doing it.
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amother
Hyacinth
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Tue, Jul 26 2022, 9:14 am
| BrisketBoss wrote: | I wait until baby is tired (has been up for a reasonable amount of time and is displaying sleepiness cues) then put them down. If I time it right, baby only cries for a few minutes. If it gets to be about 20mins (I recently read about the cycle of crying, how long each lasts for but I am having trouble finding it...it's just something I feel) and it just seems to not be working then I go ahead and nurse the baby to sleep or try again later.
When baby wakes at night to nurse, I always nurse them until they're done. I'm ok with doing it and I wouldn't be ok with not doing it. |
Thanks! Wouldn't this teach them that if they cry long enough you'll eventually give in? My baby's stubborn and I have a feeling he'd keep going... This seems like it would be better advice for a younger baby, or correct me if I'm wrong.
The reason I tried to stop during the night is because I know he no longer nurses because he's hungry, rather it's just his pacifier.
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BrisketBoss
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Tue, Jul 26 2022, 3:14 pm
| amother [ Hyacinth ] wrote: | Thanks! Wouldn't this teach them that if they cry long enough you'll eventually give in? My baby's stubborn and I have a feeling he'd keep going... This seems like it would be better advice for a younger baby, or correct me if I'm wrong.
The reason I tried to stop during the night is because I know he no longer nurses because he's hungry, rather it's just his pacifier. |
Your mileage may vary, but for my kids it has worked. I feel out when it is that they need a 'rescue.' And the next time, they probably won't need it.
I'm not giving in, but rather giving them the support they need to fall asleep and then giving them an opportunity to try again later on their own. Throughout life, you will give your kids opportunities do accomplish something without your support, and then step in when they need you.
There are different schools of thought on the nursing at night. I find it hard to believe that it's just a pacifier because they are still getting milk and they wouldn't want to consume milk if they were not hungry. But the reason they wake up to eat could be in part because they didn't eat as much during the day as they could have. In any case, when my baby cries at night I wait just a bit to see if they can settle themselves. Otherwise, I nurse them.
During the day with an older child I would make sure they had a good meal of solids shortly before bedtime, and maybe some breastmilk after that too. But I always nurse at night when they ask. They will naturally reduce their night feedings down to nothing even if you don't encourage a weaning process.
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amother
Hyacinth
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Tue, Jul 26 2022, 6:25 pm
| BrisketBoss wrote: | Your mileage may vary, but for my kids it has worked. I feel out when it is that they need a 'rescue.' And the next time, they probably won't need it.
I'm not giving in, but rather giving them the support they need to fall asleep and then giving them an opportunity to try again later on their own. Throughout life, you will give your kids opportunities do accomplish something without your support, and then step in when they need you.
There are different schools of thought on the nursing at night. I find it hard to believe that it's just a pacifier because they are still getting milk and they wouldn't want to consume milk if they were not hungry. But the reason they wake up to eat could be in part because they didn't eat as much during the day as they could have. In any case, when my baby cries at night I wait just a bit to see if they can settle themselves. Otherwise, I nurse them.
During the day with an older child I would make sure they had a good meal of solids shortly before bedtime, and maybe some breastmilk after that too. But I always nurse at night when they ask. They will naturally reduce their night feedings down to nothing even if you don't encourage a weaning process. |
What you're saying about giving them a chance to do it alone and helping when necessary makes a lot of sense. Haven't really thought of it that way. It almost resembles the pick up put down method or whatever its called... It takes more time and patience but I know I won't switch him over in a week unless I let him cry it out and that's not an option. I can try some sort of variation of this and see how it goes.
I totally understand about the feeding at night, personally I think since he's hardly even sucking, just literally makes a suction and holds on lol, that its more of a sleep crutch and not actually hungry. If he's eating its more just a drink if anything and not that he's hungry. But in general and for sure if he wasn't yet on solids I would absolutely continue to feed at night according to demand.
Thanks again for all the pointers and food for thought!
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BrisketBoss
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Tue, Jul 26 2022, 6:46 pm
| amother [ Hyacinth ] wrote: | What you're saying about giving them a chance to do it alone and helping when necessary makes a lot of sense. Haven't really thought of it that way. It almost resembles the pick up put down method or whatever its called... It takes more time and patience but I know I won't switch him over in a week unless I let him cry it out and that's not an option. I can try some sort of variation of this and see how it goes.
I totally understand about the feeding at night, personally I think since he's hardly even sucking, just literally makes a suction and holds on lol, that its more of a sleep crutch and not actually hungry. If he's eating its more just a drink if anything and not that he's hungry. But in general and for sure if he wasn't yet on solids I would absolutely continue to feed at night according to demand.
Thanks again for all the pointers and food for thought! |
When my baby was about a year and towards the end of waking at night (though it still happened a couple times recently at 17 months, after months without) I found if I really made sure he ate a good meal soon before bed, he was less likely to wake up before my bedtime. Every babe is different though. Glad I could help!
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amother
OP
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Tue, Jul 26 2022, 8:46 pm
Thanks... Only issue with this is that he stopped nursing a few weeks ago so he goes to sleep with a bottle but when he wakes up he screams and doesn't go back to sleep
About the person that said I should move him out, can you link the other thread please? Can't find it.
Thanks in advance
Any other advice greatly appreciated....
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BrisketBoss
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Tue, Jul 26 2022, 8:48 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | Thanks... Only issue with this is that he stopped nursing a few weeks ago so he goes to sleep with a bottle but when he wakes up he screams and doesn't go back to sleep
About the person that said I should move him out, can you link the other thread please? Can't find it.
Thanks in advance
Any other advice greatly appreciated.... |
https://www.imamother.com/foru.....77325
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