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Forum
-> Household Management
-> Finances
Who does the financial paperwork in your house?
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| I do all the paperwork |
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39% |
[ 93 ] |
| My husband does it all |
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42% |
[ 100 ] |
| Both me and my husband split the paperwork |
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17% |
[ 42 ] |
| other -comment below |
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1% |
[ 3 ] |
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| Total Votes : 238 |
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amother
Pink
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 Thu, Jul 28 2022, 9:52 am
My husband takes care of all payments - credit cards, tuition, electricity... He also works multiple jobs.
I fill out applications to schools, camps... and do all the child care and house work. I also take my children to all regular doctor and dentist appointments. My husband will sometimes take them to specialist appt if I need.
Every couple has to do what works for them. It doesn't help to compare yourself to others because there is so much more going on than just the paperwork. If your arrangement is not working out for you try to figure out a way to change it.
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essie14
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Thu, Jul 28 2022, 11:16 am
| amother [ Catmint ] wrote: | | DH would do it, I’m just better at it. I feel like he pulls his weight (and more) in plenty of other areas so I have no reason to be upset that it’s all on me. There’s lots of things that are all on him. |
Exactly. My DH could run our household single handedly and so could I but we are a partnership.
I do the things I'm better at, or what's more convenient. For example, he would drive our kids more, but I have more things to take care of out of the house, so if I have an exercise class near my kids camp, then of course I'll take the kid to camp and then go do my thing. It wouldn't make sense for me to complain that he doesn't drive the kids around.
I'm definitely the "CEO" and "COO" of our household but that's just how it works for us.
I see different dynamics with other couples and that works for them.
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amother
Snowdrop
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Thu, Jul 28 2022, 11:34 am
In the beginning DH was in kollel and I was the breadwinner. Both our parents have the dynamic where our mothers take care of the bills, and DH thought it makes sense while I did NOT. Enough that I was earning the money; I wanted DH to DO SOMETHING to contribute to the running of our little household. It became our first major argument. Eventually he did it begrudgingly. And made sure to tell me each time what he's doing and expected major appreciation. I tried to give it to him but asked back for appreciation for the laundry and clean floors and delicious meals.
BH as our family grew, so did the amount of paperwork and cheshbonos. And I could NOT BE HAPPIER. I get very stressed around the topic of money, so even though he doesn't always do the best job (late fees, etc.) I am so grateful that he does it. He's also stopped complaining about it.
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amother
Coffee
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Thu, Jul 28 2022, 11:58 am
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I did it all until we had to juggle which bill had to get paid first and answer school administration 's phone call... it was way too stressful for me. My husband didn't get frazzled at all.
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amother
Azure
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Thu, Jul 28 2022, 3:56 pm
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I have ADHD. My husband is both frugal and very thorough. He does all the financial stuff but I run the budget (set it up, update the transactions etc).
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amother
Midnight
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Fri, Jul 29 2022, 1:43 pm
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This is totally a “some people have the head for it and some people don’t” situation. Paperwork is time consuming for me, but my DH wouldn’t even know where to start with it. When there’s a lot of forms to fill out, he does extra dishes
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amother
Eggshell
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Sun, Jul 31 2022, 8:51 pm
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I wrote we split it, but we do it together!
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amother
Chestnut
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Sun, Jul 31 2022, 9:49 pm
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I do the household and personal stuff. Dh is self employed and deals with all his business stuff.
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amother
Ecru
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Sun, Jul 31 2022, 10:14 pm
| amother [ Saddlebrown ] wrote: | It's not so much of a man's women's job. But when my very dear husband got to know his amazing adhd wife realization dawned on him that if he doesn't want the house to be taken as foreclosure and the lights to be shut off then he can't let her alone with those papers for a minute.
So as the gentleman that he is, he stepped up to the plate. And like a hero emerging from the raging flames with a child in his arms, he snatched those dizzying papers away from his wife and declared "you shall never have to fill out another paper in this lifetime again!" | And in our house, after having the lights shut off (to my horror!), I gallantly stepped in like the hero 🦸♀️ I am. 😄
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amother
Carnation
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Sun, Jul 31 2022, 11:11 pm
He’s accounts receivables I’m accounts payable
(But not the bills lol, just shopping)
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