When you need to stop working to care for sick child

amother

Thu, Jul 28 2022, 11:55 pm

Wasn't sure if I should put this in finances or emotional health so I just picked here. Unfortunately, I am sure others have been in this situation before and looking for advice on what others have done in these circumstances. Until recently I worked pretty much full time (36 hours plus a commute) at a job that also provided our health insurance. Recently I had a child diagnosed with and hospitalized for a serious illness. At that time I took a FMLA leave, but I am quickly running out of time as that only covers 12 weeks of leave. At this time me returning to work is not an option as I need to provide full time care to my child. As things stand now I don't know when I'll be able to return to work. But my salary is a large chunk of our income, plus we rely on the health benefits now more than ever. In addition to my not bringing in a paycheck right now our expenses are through the roof. We are spending a ton of money out of pocket every month on various treatments/therapies. What do others do when their child is ill but they can't afford not to work Crying

TravelHearter

Fri, Jul 29 2022, 12:59 am

Do you have a Bikur Cholim near you? A lot of time they provide some sort of financial assistance. Call the one nearest you and ask what their options are. If you stop working, will you lose so much money that maybe you’ll be eligible for free health insurance from the govt?

amother

Apple

Fri, Jul 29 2022, 1:33 am

First of all sending hugs ❤️
I’ve been in your shoes for quite a few years already unfortunately... I don’t know how we got by, but Hashem helps... (thoughI did at some point return to p/t work from home, and since I was/am the primary caretaker/nurse/medical director- my husband did some side hustling to try and bridge the gap. Which of course was very hard on me- needing his help so much more than ever...)

which state do you reside in? I recently heard of an insurance that will pay out a certain amount for every night you’re in the hospital.

amother

Apple

Fri, Jul 29 2022, 1:38 am

TravelHearter wrote:

AFAIK, most bikur cholims will at best help with a one time medical bill financial assistance, and not a pay your mortgage/rent for months till you’re out of crisis kind of thing...

(The only org I’m aware of that can temporarily help with this is RCCS for a patient in active chemo treatment/surgery situation and chai lifeline will occasionally help financially)

Though I’m remembering now that I believe was the met Jewish council in Brooklyn that was also able to get some grant to help with rent but nothing ever panned out of that...

imaima

Fri, Jul 29 2022, 1:46 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Can your dh stay at home then?

amother

Mon, Aug 01 2022, 1:27 pm

Thank you to all those who took the time to read and reply. My husband taking off isn't an option since he currently makes more than me. I can take an unpaid child care leave (which is likely what I'm going to end up doing) but that still leave us without my full salary, plus I'm going to lose our health insurance. While without my income we'll probably be eligible for subsidized insurance for the kids (child health plus etc) we'll still have to pay separately for a plan for myself and DH. So in addition to significantly less income we're going to have an additional huge expense. I've reached out to several otlrganizations to find out if they could help us temporarily with expenses. None of them help with ongoing day to day expenses. At most they sometimes help with specific medical expenses, none of which apply to our specific needs. I'm just so stressed and don't know what to do! DH is talking about taking on a 3rd job but I have no idea when he thinks he's going to do more work since he's already working a nearly full time job plus teaching 4 periods a day in a yeshiva in the afternoons/evenings which requires lots of prep outside his actual working hours. And I need him home more now not less! For the last few months we've just been using money from our savings to get by, but we don't have enough to sustain us much longer and this isn't something that's likely to be resolved so quickly. I'm just at such a loss and don't know where to turn Crying

. There are so many wonderful chesed organizations that raise money for so many important causes but so far I haven't found any that help out in these kinds of situations.

amother

Mon, Aug 01 2022, 3:31 pm

mha3484 wrote:

In my city people raise money for this kind of thing. A young father had severe burns and wont be able to work for a long time and tons of money was raised to help the family. Start a go fund me/chesed fund page and people really like to help. Same with meal trains.

If this was a case of a straight up medical illness I would consider that (although my husband would probably absolutely refuse). However, this is due to a mental health issue. I can't do that to my child. My daughter doesn't want anyone to know what she is going through. And I don't blame her, she doesn't want to forever be remembered as the girl who had ____. Out of all of mine or my husband's siblings only one even knows what's going on.

1ofbillions

Mon, Aug 01 2022, 3:53 pm

I just said a perek of Tehillim for your family, OP. This is so hard, sending love.

If you’re located in NJ, I believe that if you’ve been paying the NJ FLI tax on each paycheck (and you probably have been), you’re entitled to some paid family leave. See https://www.myleavebenefits.nj.....83333 for more details. The yellow Q&A section lower down on the page explains the details of how to know if you qualify, how much you can earn, and how to apply.

If you’re not in NJ, what state are you in? There may be a similar program.

amother

Raspberry

Mon, Aug 01 2022, 7:35 pm

Please do the following;

go on the marketplace and get free Medicaid insurance for the whole family
sign up for food stamps - snap
sign up for Heap - heat and electric bills will be covered
don't pay for anything that is not a necessity
call up Met Council and ask them for a social worker they can help you get on other programs and they have financial assistance for crisis.
can you find a remote job? there are so many of them available now maybe you can work different hours doing something? Delta airlines is currently hiring remote workers pay is $14 an hour plus full insurance benefits.
Each Bikur Cholim will give just a little if you have time then make the calls
ask your Rabbi to make an appeal in Shul they can make a general one so it's anonymously and have the funds go to you. Ask the Rav to call the local grocery and see if he can get them to make a food account for you for like $100 a week some stores do this for those that can't afford food.
Start a go fund me or something like that so others in your life can assist as well.