How to teach my daughter manners

amother

Tue, Aug 02 2022, 9:31 pm

My sweet smart 6 year old daughter has no manners and I don’t know where she picked up this behavior because me and my husband are well mannered and our only other child my son is a little gentleman.

She constantly picks her nose in public, wipes it on her clothes, wipes her dirty mouth and hands on her clothes, when food gets on her clothes she licks it right off.
She touches other’s food, licks the lids of food and drinks which are not her own.

When she throws a tantrum she’ll lick her hair because she knows it puts me off.
She is super loud, has a very entitled self centered demeanor, can be super disrespectful and yell punch hit.

That’s besides throwing things on the floor (which I believe is more common among kids)

Is this normal for a 6 year old? I’m getting so annoyed and grossed out by her behavior, it’s just ugly. And feel like an ugly mother for saying that about my own daughter. But no matter how much I try to get her to stop she just won’t. She’s too used to doing those things.

And it’s super embarrassing to go out with her in public. Another reason I feel like a bad mom.

mushkamothers

Tue, Aug 02 2022, 9:46 pm

Have you done an evaluation for OT bc those are sensory seeking needs. And start with a chew or sucking necklace to replace her hair.
Also sucking hair in a tantrum = a self soothing or self regulating behavior. She's not just trying to drive you crazy.

Not_in_my_town

Tue, Aug 02 2022, 10:02 pm

I have one daughter like this. She's highly sensory and in extreme need of attention. Two things work with her:

1. Private cuddling time. She NEEDS hugs and kisses, as well as conversation about her day. She is drastically calmer and more well behaved when she gets this every day.

2. I talk to her about her strengths and how she has a job to do to make this world more heilig. She is always faced with choices, and I trust her to make good ones. It really helps her make better choices and she holds herself with more dignity. She is seven, though, a year older, so not sure if it will work for your daughter.

Try not to give her negative attention. She is CHALISHING for attention; let her get positive attention. Tell her that she makes a good choice or is behaving well when she does. Build her up.

AlwaysGrateful

Tue, Aug 02 2022, 10:23 pm

Some of these behaviors are age appropriate, even if not all kids (read: your son) do not show them.

Others are not quite. I do think it would be helpful to have a evaluation -- as a previous poster said, OT is probably a good place to start. Licking lids, licking food off her own clothing, and possibly the punching and hitting...these aren't as typical as some of the other behaviors you listed.

It could be sensory. It could be something else. But I think it definitely makes sense to ask someone who can give you some insight into why your daughter is doing what she's doing.