Toddler tantrum | Imamother

AlwaysGrateful

Mon, Aug 08 2022, 3:15 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I hear.
The point isn’t that she’s getting what she wants. The point is that I said no when she first asked- This is a kid who thrives on firm boundaries in general and I don’t like going back on my word bc then it doesn’t mean anything. And the reason I said no was because it was difficult for me to do it.

Yes, you're 100% right. And in retrospect, that's why before you say "no" to a request, you need to make sure that you're willing and able to carry through with it. But that's so easy to say in retrospect, and sooo difficult to do in realtime.

I find that...

giving a choice (do you want to walk holding my hand or holding the stroller?)
making it fun (I know! Let's pretend that we're walking on a moonbounce! Wow, you're bouncing so high!")
empathy -- but just for a few seconds -- and then "give it to her in her imagination" (Ooh, I know sweetie, I'm tired too. [While walking] I wish that instead of walking, we could ride on a giant pony! No, I wish we could ride on a big fluffy bunny rabbit! What do you wish you could ride on to get home?)
distracting

Often one of these will help, at least for a little while. And then next time, you know that for that distance, you may need to bring a double stroller or one of those ride-on attachments for her.