Missing out on something for therapy

amother

Mon, Aug 08 2022, 6:56 pm

Help, I'm soooo torn! 6th grade DD is basically functional and well-adjusted. If she were failing in any area then I'd say for sure it's worth pulling her out of a class or a lunch for therapy. But she's borderline. She struggles in some areas and could surely benefit from help but as far as I can tell she's not doing too poorly either. But it's hard to tell because she is somewhat closed (one of the things I hope therapy could help with) and also like I said just borderline.

She qualifies for therapy through the dept of ed because she used to be much worse. B"H she made a lot of progress which is why it's hard to say whether she still needs it.

The therapy is only available in school. I could take her to a private therapist after school but that wouldn't be covered by the DOE and I don't know if someone would even be available.

They're giving me 3 choices:
She can be pulled out of lunch 2x a week (lunch in school happens 4x a week). She's at such a social age and I'm sure she wouldn't be too happy with this.
She can be pulled out of social studies every day. I don't love the idea of her missing an entire subject for an entire year. Besides my personal desire to have educated kids, I'm concerned that it will set her behind if/when she rejoins social studies next year or in high school.
She can opt out of the therapy altogether. If we see later that she's struggling, we can request to begin therapy but odds are the therapists will already have full schedules and it will probably not happen.

They want a commitment now because obviously if you drop out midyear that's very frustrating to the therapist who has a set schedule and expected income.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! I think my kid needs the help but not at all sure it outweighs her need to be part of her class at lunch or to learn social studies. So torn.

Just One

Mon, Aug 08 2022, 7:04 pm

I would be ok with my daughter missing social studies for a year. It's not a foundational subject and not like math where you need the previous year's knowledge to do well.

If she's borderline, you think it could be beneficial, and your daughter is fine with the idea, I don't see much of a downside and potentially lots of upside.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

srbmom

Mon, Aug 08 2022, 7:50 pm

I was going to say the same thing! Social studies at that age is not anything that will leave a life-long gap. Find out what they're learning and either supplement with books or educational videos. I wouldn't think twice about getting her any help she needs at this point, even minimal, if it means just missing that subject

amother

Mon, Aug 08 2022, 10:21 pm

The therapy we're considering now is counseling and OT. She qualifies through DOE because it was part of a broader set of services that impacted her school participation in the past. B"H she is doing much better now but we are keeping the IEP active a little longer to make sure things continue OK.

The issue is not severe, that's what I mean by borderline - it's maybe an issue, maybe not, might just be fine on her own, hard to tell.

I did not ask DD what she would want because I'm sure she'll say she doesn't need or want any of it. It's different once you have a person there drawing you in.

amother

Azalea

Mon, Aug 08 2022, 10:22 pm

sweetie2shoes wrote:

What does your daughter want? Is she willing to go out for therapy?

Start with this. Dragging an unwilling participant will do more harm than good. Is she on board with any of these options? It's extremely hard to draw in a child above the age of ten or so when she has decided it's not something she wants to be a part of.

Mon, Aug 08 2022, 10:36 pm

As both a mother and OT who has worked with kids your daughter’s age I would first find out if it’s something your daughter is willing to do…if not it’s not fair to either your daughter who will resent going or to the therapist who will be wasting time either trying to track down your daughter who will be hiding from her or trying to convince her to even come to therapy….sometimes even if a child qualifies for therapy it might not be the best for them in the long run