All his friends have electric bikes

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amother

Wed, Aug 10 2022, 11:00 am

My 12 yr old soon to be bar mitzvah keeps asking for a $700 and up electric bike.
We don’t have that kind of money to spend. I keep telling him that we just can’t do it now but all his friends have one. I listed all his friends thinking that maybe one wouldn’t have but guess what they all have. I see in the streets countless of boys riding them.
Where in the world is everyone getting all this money for a electric bike.
My son pointed out bikes and I looked up on Amazon and they are over $1000.
Am I the odd one out that I just can’t see buying something this expensive for teenagers?
But my son is the only one amongst his friends who don’t have one.
If it makes any difference I live in New York.

amother

Daphne

Wed, Aug 10 2022, 11:03 am

Are the boys that have it, bar mitzvah yet? Maybe they spent their present money, or just simply their own money? Although my kids don't have any of their own money, nothing like that amount anyway! Some do though..
My son bought an electric scooter with his bar mitzvah money. He loves it, uses it to get to yeshiva every day.

amother

Honey

Wed, Aug 10 2022, 11:04 am

All you need to do is read the nosh thread to understand why this is happening.

When they're 6 they NEED 20 tons of Nosh to fit in. When they're 12 they NEED a $700 bike. A $150 bike won't do. And if you don't get it you're neglectful and ignoring his emotional needs.

amother

Birch

Wed, Aug 10 2022, 11:04 am

Wow
We consider electric bikes are only for adults.
Let the kids ride regular bikes.
Not even only because of the cost. Which I would not want a 12 year old kid in charge of something that costs 1000 +
Safety and exercise first.

amother

Wed, Aug 10 2022, 11:07 am

Maybe some bought with their own money but I know for a fact that a lot didn’t and most of the boys weren’t bar mitzvah when they got them.

mha3484

Wed, Aug 10 2022, 11:08 am

My son was giving me the everyone has it about segways and scooters and last summer I looked around and he was right everyone seemed to have these things. His yeshiva has piles of these things when you drive by.

I wondered if during lockdown people had stimulus checks and bored kids so they bought this type of item because I felt like I was seeing so many more then I ever saw in the past. Some kids in my city also do win them at avos u bonim. I have one car and its a huge help for me when my son can take himself places so I found a used one on facebook marketplace that was much more affordable. Full price was not an option and he knows its never being replaced so he better take care of it.

amother

Freesia

Wed, Aug 10 2022, 11:27 am

Nearly every single 8tj grader in my son's school has one. Over half of those kids are blowing stops signs and not following traffic rules. And at the speed they're at ...

Forget about the money. Think about the safety. The amount of coordination. Responsibility. Awareness! I don't know a single boy that age that should be trusted with that

amother

Birch

Wed, Aug 10 2022, 11:29 am

Right, and its almost like buying your kid a mini bike. No way. Not at that age.

amother

DarkRed

Wed, Aug 10 2022, 11:34 am

Yes everyone has them except my sons. Not only can I not afford it, the safety aspect gives me anxiety. Plus, boys get so little exercise that they need to be using their muscles for walking or biking.

So, not my kids. Sorry. Yes I know I am the meanest mother.

mha3484

Wed, Aug 10 2022, 11:40 am

I think there is a false sense of security that people have with these devices. Bikes are considered great and segway/scooters etc are super dangerous and evil but a horrible tragedy happened in my city a year ago when a kid was biking home and got hit by a car and died. I know an adult recently that had a horrible bike accident with a car coming out of an alley and not paying attention.

No matter what our kid uses to get around we have to teach them to be safe.

amother

Crimson

Wed, Aug 10 2022, 11:48 am

I see this happening more and more (small OOT community) where kids are getting electric bikes, hover boards, etc; whether gifts or buying with "their own money." I tell my kids they need to save for their chosson/kallah gifts and "their own money" is not for now because they won't have enough for the really important things in life if they throw it away. Also those devices are dangerous... I've seen kids zooming in the street on them!

PinkFridge

Wed, Aug 10 2022, 12:28 pm

It's a pity there aren't age restrictions.

zaq

Wed, Aug 10 2022, 12:38 pm

First of all, I question the assertion that "all" his friends have such a bike. If three kids in his class of seventeen have them, to him, that's "all."

Secondly, parents should never allow their children to blackmail them or guilt them into buying things they can't afford. If indeed all his classmates are wealthy and own such things, wonderful for them. Your son needs to learn that, even if he grows up to be a billionaire, there will always be someone who has more material goods than he has. The perception that "everyone" has something that he lacks is not sufficient reason for you to supply that something, even if you can afford it. Certainly not when you can't. Bar mitzvah age is an ideal time to learn how to accept this basic fact of life without jealousy or feeling underprivileged.

There is also the issue with this particular product, which as others have pointed out is often misused in a way that poses a danger to the child and to the public. So even if you could afford to buy him a whole fleet of these, you may still have chosen not to for reasons of safety alone.

If your ds wanted something that wasn't objectionable, merely beyond your budget, I'd suggest letting your son save up the money to buy it. You give him as much money as you would spend on a gift; he adds to that any monetary gifts he gets from others; he finds a way to earn money such as doing extra chores around the house, tutoring if he's a good student, going shopping for neighbors, mowing lawns, washing cars or whatever boys his age do to make money where you live. Then when he's saved up enough, he can buy his dream bike, assuming that he still wants one and hasn't decided that this plaything isn't worth his hard-earned cash. The object lessons he will have learned about deferred gratification, independence, and the value of a dollar will serve him well throughout his life.

To encourage saving rather than spending, you could offer to match any finds your son puts away in savings, provided that he keeps it there for a certain period of time, say five years. By then he'll be finishing HS and hopefully mature enough to use his funds wisely.

PinkFridge

Wed, Aug 10 2022, 12:43 pm

Can you negotiate? Say, in this family at the moment we are not entertaining ebikes below a certain age. What is something else you'd like? (Not as pricey.)

amother

Orange

Wed, Aug 10 2022, 3:23 pm

I have one for riding to work and I love it, but I don’t think they’re appropriate for most kids. I also think the ones that go above 20 mph and/or don’t need you to pedal are dangerous and I don’t recommend anyone buy them.

You can get cheap electric bikes, which is what the friends probably have. However, I also think you get what you pay for.

I wouldn’t “give in” on this one.

amother

Wed, Aug 10 2022, 4:24 pm

Thanks.

It is just so hard because all his friends have one.
He keeps telling me that if I get him one he will always be on time for davening and I don’t have to run out to take him and pick him up.
He will try anything to get me to buy one.

AlwaysGrateful

Wed, Aug 10 2022, 4:45 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

He knows how to push your buttons.

I have two boys of minyan age. One of them walks to shacharis and makes sure to wake up early enough that he has plenty of time. One of them is more last-minute, and will often bike to a farther away minyan if he sleeps in. I've only driven him once or twice in the past few years since he started going to minyan regularly, and that was usually do to some situation that was out of his control.

Getting him an electric bike would not make him more on time for davening. Any more than getting me a Tesla would get me to work on time. It might work for a week or two, just from the novelty of it.

amother

Tan

Wed, Aug 10 2022, 5:56 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Why wouldn't a regular bike do the trick?

I'm also the mean mom who doesn't allow electric bikes and scooters.

I think they are not safe/ not healthy-- stop the one way my boys exercise/ cost too much

amother

Tan

Wed, Aug 10 2022, 5:57 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

amother

Pear

Wed, Aug 10 2022, 6:33 pm

Can all "mean mommies" come together!!

Another mean mommy here

My son has same complaints. We bought him a electric scooter that doesn't go too quick. Of course he's not happy. He wants a electric scooter or bike that goes very quick. Sounds dangerous to me! But only I don't let him have it. All mothers let their kids have it means it's safe!
How's he going to be able to go to daven, shul is so "far" (managed till now)

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