Please give me chizzuk about Maaser!

amother

Tue, Aug 16 2022, 7:36 pm

My husband is great about giving maaser. He doesn’t think twice about it. But it’s so hard for me to be giving away so much money. Please give me chizzuk!
Bh we have enough money. But right now, with all the inflation, increased tuition, a new baby… we don’t have extra to put away. We have some savings (~70k) that is set aside for buying a home. My husband just gave 2000$ to tzedaka for recent maaser and it was so hard for me to watch! That’s money we could be putting away or even using to buy my kids new clothing for YT so I don’t have to search high and low for the best prices.
I know it’s the right thing to do. We can technically afford it but it would be nice to keep it and save it. Help me feel better about this!

amother

Snow

Tue, Aug 16 2022, 8:00 pm

Maaser isn't causing you to lose $, f anything the opposite - you're financially stable because your husband gives Maaser.

amother

Mimosa

Tue, Aug 16 2022, 8:16 pm

Many hold that maaser can go towards girls tuition. Ask a sheila. Building fee for my kids school is from maaser.

Genius

Tue, Aug 16 2022, 8:19 pm

My income doubled when I started giving chomesh (that's 20%). This is one place where it clearly says we are allowed to test Hashem. I give you a bracha that you should give loads of maaser and have harchavas hadaas.

amother

Valerian

Tue, Aug 16 2022, 8:21 pm

I hope this can help:
Hashem has already decided how much money you should make this year. If you decide to keep "extra" money by not giving maaser, Hashem will make you lose the money in a different way.
I come from a family where maaser was such an important and beloved mitzvah. It's all in the way you look at it.

The Chofetz Chaim wrote a whole sefer on tzedakah and maaser - it may help you to read it.

amother

Narcissus

Tue, Aug 16 2022, 8:36 pm

Genius wrote:

I've always wondered about this. Plenty of people give Maaser and are struggling terribly. So if they're testing hashem it would appear that it failed.

If this is something that we don't understand then how are we testing hashem? It seems when the results go well, we accept the test results. If the test goes bad we say we don't understand.

amother

Aconite

Tue, Aug 16 2022, 8:44 pm

Genius wrote:

Same.
Husband always gives tons of tzedaka, even when we had nothing. All I've seen is bracha time & time again.

amother

Amaranthus

Tue, Aug 16 2022, 8:47 pm

When we first got married we made the decision that we would always give maaser. Over the years, friends of mine, in similar financial situations have told me they got a Heter not to give maaser. ( my husband is learning in kollel, I work, we get almost no parental support, we have a bunch of kids BH)
I stand firmly , giving maaser. It’s important to me. So far, Hashem has not let me down. He always gives me what I need. I am grateful

But yes, I totally hear you. It pinches my heart for a brief moment when I see my husband handing over thousands of dollars to maaser.

amother

Brickred

Tue, Aug 16 2022, 8:50 pm

We send it to a different bank account. It’s part of the gross salary not the net. Do I think twice practically about the money that goes to taxes? I don’t even think about it. The maser money is not mine (unless told otherwise by a rav). Now more than ten percent would be scary to me. DH wants to so badly but I think it’s foolish at this point as we would have to rely on support if we gave more away. I don’t think that’s the idea.
Supposedly R Moshe said people didn’t come with enough tzedaka/maser shailos…

amother

Tue, Aug 16 2022, 9:28 pm

Thanks all, I guess it’s just something I have to work on. Strengthening my emunah that this is what Hashem wants.

amother

Wheat

Tue, Aug 16 2022, 9:39 pm

We were “exempt” from maaser for a while, but we were struggling and I was looking for a way out. One of the things we did was committed to maaser, we’ve seen amazing Bracha since bH. I’m a skeptic, and wouldn’t believe my own story if it didn’t happen to me.
The law of attraction theory fits in nicely here too. We started “feeling” wealthy because we were always giving to needy people and organizations. (A little to everyone who asks.) it’s a whole mindset shift when you perceive yourself as a giver not a taker in life.

amother

Burlywood

Tue, Aug 16 2022, 9:45 pm

I’d cut anything back before I cut back on maaser and tzedakah. Husband hasn’t worked in 5 years but I’d sooner eat beans on toast before I stop giving tzedakah. It non negotiable for me