Please help: struggling so much with my weight AFTER surgery

amother

Mon, Aug 15 2022, 1:31 pm

So I just met with the Bariatric surgeon today. They were so unhelpful (was new doctor in the practice - or at least someone I hadn’t met yet). Basically told me unconcernedly that they see I could lose weight in the past, so it proves I must not be sticking to the diet and exercise. When I said I never lost enough weight to begin with he just shrugged. Told me I should be walking 15,000 steps a day (???), should be eating almost no carbs, and if I’m hungry on that talk to my nutritionist. And if I don’t lose weight in six months, they’ll do an endoscopy to see if my sleeve stretched. I basically felt hopeless and helpless - the message throughout was ‘it’s your fault’ (I mean…maybe it is. But why can my stomach fit all this food? Why do I constantly feel hungry? That started within a few weeks of surgery!!).
I feel hopeless and helpless and lost.
Anyone that can advise…

Chana Miriam S

Mon, Aug 15 2022, 1:58 pm

amother OP wrote:

That Doctor is not up to date on the basics of weightloss. Current obesity practice guidelines do not say this.

Please see if you can have a discussion with the bariatric dietician.

amother

Mon, Aug 15 2022, 2:38 pm

andrea levy wrote:

That Doctor is not up to date on the basics of weightloss. Current obesity practice guidelines do not say this.

Please see if you can have a discussion with the bariatric dietician.

The Bariatric dietician I had initially wasn’t the greatest. I don’t even know who to turn to. Dieticians who make me count calories stress me out….

nicole81

Mon, Aug 15 2022, 4:03 pm

amother OP wrote:

But were you craving and overeating/bingeing before your sleeve? Maybe I messed up my own sleeve (although I don’t know because I ate so little in the beginning and still didn’t lose enough. Started regaining almost immediately..). Maybe I ate too much. Is that not possible?

I think maybe you weren't well informed about the outcomes of the sleeve. 5 years post op, the average weight loss expected is 50% of the excess weight based off the bmi chart.

So for example, at 5 ft, 150 is considered the highest healthy weight. Maybe people this size may disagree, but this is how they measure gastric surgery outcomes. So if you were 250 pounds, your excess weight is considered 100lbs. And therefore if you kept off half, and are 200 lbs 5 years out, you're considered a success.

Many people, especially those who don't have drastic amounts to lose (I don't consider 250 lbs a lot to lose), end up disappointed because they weren't educated accurately about expectations. It's definitely not your fault.

amother

Tuberose

Mon, Aug 15 2022, 4:10 pm

amother OP wrote:

How does it work? Are you able to stick with it?

I don't eat my binge foods at all and I'm very honest about that list. The foods I do eat are not foods that I overeat. I am able to stick with it because I don't crave much and because of the support in meetings and guidance of my sponsor.

momomany

Mon, Aug 15 2022, 4:27 pm

Hey OP, I think its time to realize that the body/life you want and deserve doesn't come easy. There are no quick solutions that won't involve hard work on your part. You MUST come to an acceptance of that. Only then will you be open to ask Hashem for the clarity and strength to pick a path toward your goal. Only then will you be willing to do the work that only YOU can do to get out of the hellish life you describe. The solution is out there. So many of us have left the bloated body and addicted mindset behind and you can too. I know you feel overwhelmed at the thought of restricting your eating and past failures seem to be predictive of future relapses but you CAN do this. It is infinitely easier to eat within the parameters of my food plan (restrictive though they may be) than to live in my previous obese body and addicted mind. Wishing you hatzlacha.

amother

Mon, Aug 15 2022, 4:28 pm

nicole81 wrote:

Thank you for this explanation.
I am 5 feet lol.
And I weighed 220 (but already was less than 210 after the 1 week pre-op diet).

I went down to 166 total- that was THE LOWEST. Like 44 pounds total. but I’m nearly three years out and already up to 180-185 (fluctuating).
By 5 years if I don’t help myself, I would be more than 200 pounds.

At this point, I don’t even think I meet the definition of success.

What do I do?

amother

Mon, Aug 15 2022, 4:29 pm

amother Tuberose wrote:

Can you tell me which OA group you’re let if and how you found a sponsor? Can you eat between meals?

amother

Mon, Aug 15 2022, 4:34 pm

momomany wrote:

I am desperate. I tried OA twice but I got so stressed from weighing foods and the black and white mentality that I ended up bingeing and gaining even more…

The only time I had ‘freedom’ was for a few months after my surgery. I ate intuitively - what made me feel good in an amount that didn’t hurt me. It was so liberating. But soon enough all the cravings and everything came back. Why can’t I just listen to my body? When I listen to it now, I’m always hungry. Why is it so broken?

nicole81

Mon, Aug 15 2022, 5:17 pm

amother OP wrote:

166 is amazing, that's nearly all of the excess weight. And your current weight does indicate clinical success. Your surgeon is a fat shaming azz.

The bariatric nutrition plan would indicate protein protein protein. Like 80 grams a day. And stay away from foods with more than 10g of sugar per serving. For carbs, don't eat them unless they have 4- 5g of fiber per serving.

Some people have found the pouch reset plan to be helpful in bringing back the restriction and curbing hunger. Have you tried that?

amother

Tuberose

Mon, Aug 15 2022, 5:40 pm

amother OP wrote:

Can you tell me which OA group you’re let if and how you found a sponsor? Can you eat between meals?

I'm not part of any group. Just OA. The good old regular program. There is a group of frum women in recovery that has phone meetings. That's were I found my sponsor. There are two types of food plans people use. 3 larger meals or 3 meals 2 snacks. You get a food plan from a nutritionist. I tried both ways and prefer the 3 meals.

amother

Mon, Aug 15 2022, 6:30 pm

nicole81 wrote:

This really has made me feel a lot better, but at the end of the day, however Bariatric surgery works, I’m still 60-65 pounds overweight now with weight just creeping up.

I eat 90 grams of protein a day for at least 90% of days. I’m very good about it. I just think I have too many carbs. I always feel hungry.

My doctor said the pouch reset is a sham. Is that true? What do you think? He said to stay away from that and just talk to a Bariatric nutritionist. I feel so lost.

amother

Mon, Aug 15 2022, 6:32 pm

amother Tuberose wrote:

Do you go to in person meetings? Because I’m just not able - I am so overwhelmed with life as it is that when I had to go to in person meetings it was too hard. How do you join this group?

amother

Tuberose

Mon, Aug 15 2022, 7:28 pm

amother OP wrote:

Do you go to in person meetings? Because I’m just not able - I am so overwhelmed with life as it is that when I had to go to in person meetings it was too hard. How do you join this group?

No I just do phone and zoom sometimes. If yael can connect us I can talk more.

nicole81

Tue, Aug 16 2022, 7:18 am

amother OP wrote:

I agree that you should speak to a bariatric nutritionist. But at the same time, I would try it. Pre surgery, I remember I would always eat less after fast days, maybe because I was more aware of the feeling of fullness. I'm assuming that's how the pouch reset works. I don't know about calling it a sham; it's not something crazy like the cabbage soup diet or any other fad diet-- it's literally eating the same things we did in the beginning for a handful of days. If you find you're not feeling the restriction and overeating, it can't hurt. If it doesn't work, ok, it's only for 3-5 days anyway. Considering your doctor didn't speak to you about expectations for the surgery, and is then blaming you for "failure," I'd take what he says with a grain of salt.

If I were in your shoes, I'd make an appt for a bariatric nutritionist and try the pouch reset in the meantime. Even if it doesn't work, I don't see a downside since you'd still be eating enough nutritionally.

Chana Miriam S

Tue, Aug 16 2022, 7:28 am

Have you ever considered the idea of ‘best weight?’

It seems to me that your best weight is one you can maintain without too much trouble or stress and a Weight at which you feel good.

98% of people can’t maintain a weight los of 10% for over a year. That number might be slightly lower for surgery but in general, other than surgery or even surgery without significant change of behaviour, that is why almost no one succeeds.

While it can be done, each individual needs to find the right behaviours and sources of nutrition for themselves. Trial and error is a thing too.

Keep trying. Not to lose weight specifically but to stabilize. Yes, your weight might be up some but if you could live peacefully and happily without torturing yourself would that be worth something to you?

I know this is a bit of a radical thought.

amother

Tue, Aug 16 2022, 9:57 pm

Thank you so much both Andrea and Nicole. Your support is really meaningful to me.

I have considered that I can’t get down to the weight I want (110!!!) but my weight is creeping up and this can’t possibly be my best weight. I get tired walking up steps, don’t feel well, and my stomach constantly feels bloated. Just 15-18 pounds less, when I was my lowest since surgery, I felt a gazillion times better.

And just 10 or 12 years ago, I weighed in the 140s. So how did my best weight constantly change?

I’ll consider doing the pouch reset - I just don’t want to slow my metabolism when it goes into starvation and then have rebound weight gain. Wont it possibly do that?

Also, I know Andrea you do the no sugar no grain diet and lost tons of weight and feel amazing, but when I totally cut out carbs I always get weak and tired.

I’m at my wits end.

Maybe I should try something like greysheet but it feels like an eating disorder to me, and so black and white.

Chana Miriam S

Tue, Aug 16 2022, 10:06 pm

Here’s what I think though it isn’t based in research exactly. All the nutrition scientists seem to agree to eat foods that are unprocessed as possible and as nutrition dense as possible. That’s about the only thing they seem to agree upon. Eat nutrition dense, unprocessed foods to the extent that you can. You’ll feel better. Aim to Tweak the things that make your best weight rather than your misery weight.

You may want to consider that the more carby your food is the more likely you are to bloat. Weirdly I hardly get gas unless I eat too much vegetable like crucifers. When I do have gas it doesn’t smell bad or hurt either. You can try eliminating things and seeing if you feel better. It’s very motivating when you figure out what dies make you feel better!

Also just a reminder that though I lost a tonne and am Keeping it off, I feel amazing, have tons of energy and resolved my health issues. This, wgich is around 205-210 seems to be my best weight. I’m five one. I don’t struggle. I’m at peace.
I’m not skinny I’m technically around a 40 BMI BUT FEEL INCREDIBLE. I think because of how I eat. Enough and nutrition Dense.