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My toddler doesn’t eat
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Aug 18 2022, 9:35 pm
My daughter is 20mos old and she doesn’t eat nutritious food. She has zero interest in eating what DH and I eat. She wants snacks and ices all day and if she doesn’t get it, then she wants a bottle with milk or juice that I water down.

Besides the fact that it’s very hard to deal with, I’m concerned that she has nutritional deficiency. She’s our first, so we don’t have much experience.

Can anyone offer advice? Anyone BTDT that can give me chizzuk?

Up until about 14mos I was a bit intense over her eating habits and always made sure she had a variety of foods and only healthy stuff. She didn’t have any candy or sweets until about 14mos. And it worked out ok until it didn’t. I realized I should stop hovering over her and let her eat what she wants.

I had a baby a few months ago and I couldn’t deal with the added stress of watching her eat so I let go. But she really does not eat anything nutritious (besides maybe eggs sometimes and schnitzel sometimes). She gets through the day with her bottle and random snacks. And maybe a few pieces of cereal.

I want to help her.

Also, she’s not a skinny kid at all. People always ask me what I feed her cuz she’s a bit chubby (and I think it’s just the milk) but she started thinning out a bit in the past month.
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amother
Poinsettia


 

Post Thu, Aug 18 2022, 9:41 pm
What to do you mean she gets by the day with snacks? She just takes what she wants?

If I were you I would serve her 3 nutritious meals + 2 snacks a day. Give her a variety of food at each meal and include at least one thing you know she'll eat (fruit, pasta etc)
Put everything on her plate and let her have as much as she wants of any specific item. Even if it's just 3 portions of rice and no chicken. But make it clear that supper is supper and there are no snacks after. If she chooses not to eat that's not your problem.

Also - at almost 2 you must stop the bottles. I give my kids cold milk in a sippy cup at that age, but really only a couple times a day. If she is thirsty she can have water. I don't give my kids juice at all under 2.
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BrisketBoss




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 18 2022, 9:46 pm
DOR

You choose what's served and include one safe food. Snacks are not available between designated meal and snack times. Drop the bottles too. Your kid decides what they want to do when presented with a meal--no pressure of any kind.
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amother
Khaki


 

Post Thu, Aug 18 2022, 9:51 pm
you said shes your first. Just dont bring the ices and nosh and unhealthy foods into the house. out of sight out of mind
My oldest is 3 and we only have crackers, tea biscuits, pretzels.... but never any sugar nosh.

Also put the snacks higher up so she cant get to them easily
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Aug 18 2022, 9:51 pm
I’ll clarify. I put a variety of food on her tray. She takes the food and throws it onto the floor.

She hates being in her high chair. So sometimes I’ll let her sit on a chair next to me or walk around with the food. Either she’ll take one bite and throw it. Or she will refuse it completely.

As far as snacks, she gets them at playgroup (which I’m not happy about) but even over the weekends when she’s home, she’ll tell me she’s hungry but she won’t eat anything nutritious I offer her. So I end up giving her bamba or fruit.

I want her to eat a variety of foods. I’m not sure if she’s going through a stage, if she’s genuinely picky, or she just doesn’t like the taste of the foods.

She’ll eat fries and rice whenever offered, but it can’t be the only thing she eats.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Aug 18 2022, 9:53 pm
amother Khaki wrote:
you said shes your first. Just dont bring the ices and nosh and unhealthy foods into the house. out of sight out of mind
My oldest is 3 and we only have crackers, tea biscuits, pretzels.... but never any sugar nosh.

Also put the snacks higher up so she cant get to them easily


She doesn’t have access to it. Also, my husband eats junk food and always eats snacks. It’s a problem and I don’t like it at all. He was raised on reallt basic foods and has a very limited palette. It’s a separate issue, although now I’m thinking maybe my daughter inherited that from him.
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giftedmom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 18 2022, 10:02 pm
If you’re worried about her nutrition you can give her toddler formula. You can also do bloodwork to be sure she isn’t very deficient in anything. Beyond that, I wouldn’t worry at this age.
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amother
Plum


 

Post Thu, Aug 18 2022, 10:08 pm
My oldest was a very picky toddler. It took a long time before I could get her to eat anything like chicken. At least she liked cheese, yogurt, and fruit.

She is now 10 and she is still pretty picky, but she has come a long way. I just kept offering her a variety of things, and while she’s not very keen on trying something new, she sometimes does and then likes it. She’ll probably never be an amazing eater, but she eats things from all food groups. That’s good enough.
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amother
Outerspace


 

Post Thu, Aug 18 2022, 10:08 pm
Kids can get very addicted to their snacks and restrict themselves to that. It’s not a conscious process where they think, I’ll skip the chicken cuz I know Bamba is coming soon. It’s more like being exposed to bamba and bissli makes chicken look and taste bla. I wonder what would happen if you cut out processed snacks and food. I predict she’ll have more of an appetite for real food.

Zinc, magnesium and vit b1 help regulate appetite.

Check for oral ties also. And allergies.

Keep in mind that toddlers can subsist on very little.
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BrisketBoss




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 18 2022, 10:12 pm
amother OP wrote:
I’ll clarify. I put a variety of food on her tray. She takes the food and throws it onto the floor.

She hates being in her high chair. So sometimes I’ll let her sit on a chair next to me or walk around with the food. Either she’ll take one bite and throw it. Or she will refuse it completely.

As far as snacks, she gets them at playgroup (which I’m not happy about) but even over the weekends when she’s home, she’ll tell me she’s hungry but she won’t eat anything nutritious I offer her. So I end up giving her bamba or fruit.

I want her to eat a variety of foods. I’m not sure if she’s going through a stage, if she’s genuinely picky, or she just doesn’t like the taste of the foods.

She’ll eat fries and rice whenever offered, but it can’t be the only thing she eats.


Just keep going. Letting her walk around with food is not a great strategy, but sitting with you is good. You can choose to end the meal when food starts flying, and deny requests until the next time to eat (which should be within about 2 hours). Include bamba, or rice, or whatever, and let her have more of that. Some parents have success with incorporating a "no thank you bowl" so that the child does not feel compelled to fling their rejects.

You say you want her to eat more variety. That's ok. Just remind yourself that it's not about what you want; you really have no control over this at all. So trust your child to eat what her body tells her to. In all probability, variety will come.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Aug 18 2022, 10:13 pm
Thank you for all the responses.
At her last well visit the ped asked about her diet and I was honest. She said not to worry and she might outgrow it…
But I’m looking for practical tips to help her now. Don’t wanna wait it out. I’ll look into the toddler formula and try cutting out more snacks.

Another issue we’re dealing with is that she refuses to try new foods. She won’t even lick it. It’s such a shame
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amother
Khaki


 

Post Thu, Aug 18 2022, 10:21 pm
amother OP wrote:
I’ll clarify. I put a variety of food on her tray. She takes the food and throws it onto the floor.

She hates being in her high chair. So sometimes I’ll let her sit on a chair next to me or walk around with the food. Either she’ll take one bite and throw it. Or she will refuse it completely.

As far as snacks, she gets them at playgroup (which I’m not happy about) but even over the weekends when she’s home, she’ll tell me she’s hungry but she won’t eat anything nutritious I offer her. So I end up giving her bamba or fruit.

I want her to eat a variety of foods. I’m not sure if she’s going through a stage, if she’s genuinely picky, or she just doesn’t like the taste of the foods.

She’ll eat fries and rice whenever offered, but it can’t be the only thing she eats.


you cant give in. sit her in the highchair and feed her whatever nutritious food your giving her. If and once she refuses to eat tell her that she has to come out and no more food since shes not eating. then just take her out but do NOT give her anything else instead. If a kid is hungry they WILL eat. eventually she will come over and ask for food. If she adamantly refuses then nothing will happen if she goes to sleep hungry one night. It may take a few days but she'll get in the habit of eating normal food.
I know this sounds harsh but I have little kids too and it works. Theres no yelling or punishing.... all the parenting experts say to do it this way...
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Aug 18 2022, 10:23 pm
amother Khaki wrote:
you cant give in. sit her in the highchair and feed her whatever nutritious food your giving her. If and once she refuses to eat tell her that she has to come out and no more food since shes not eating. then just take her out but do NOT give her anything else instead. If a kid is hungry they WILL eat. eventually she will come over and ask for food. If she adamantly refuses then nothing will happen if she goes to sleep hungry one night. It may take a few days but she'll get in the habit of eating normal food.
I know this sounds harsh but I have little kids too and it works. Theres no yelling or punishing.... all the parenting experts say to do it this way...


Ok, I can try this. I don’t want my baby girl to go hungry Sad

She goes to sleep with her bottle, so won’t be easy to just stop the bottles. I don’t even know where to begin with that.
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amother
Khaki


 

Post Thu, Aug 18 2022, 10:27 pm
amother OP wrote:
Ok, I can try this. I don’t want my baby girl to go hungry Sad

She goes to sleep with her bottle, so won’t be easy to just stop the bottles. I don’t even know where to begin with that.


The goal is to get her into the habit of eating whatever you put down for her to eat. I used to have a very similar issue with my 3 year old and I did this method and by now he eats very nicely bh
You want her to eat bec shes hungry not bec shes doing you a favor
also try to avoid giving her to eat about an hour before mealtime and no milk before meals as milk is very filling and depletes proteins levels in the blood

Can you try to only give her water instead of milk at night?
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amother
Khaki


 

Post Thu, Aug 18 2022, 10:31 pm
does she sleep nicely thru the night? Does she wake up very early?
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Aug 18 2022, 10:41 pm
amother Khaki wrote:
does she sleep nicely thru the night? Does she wake up very early?


Sleeps from 7pm-8am
She goes to sleep with watered down milk. I can keep watering it down until it’s just water… but that won’t eliminate the bottle.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Aug 18 2022, 10:43 pm
amother Khaki wrote:
The goal is to get her into the habit of eating whatever you put down for her to eat. I used to have a very similar issue with my 3 year old and I did this method and by now he eats very nicely bh
You want her to eat bec shes hungry not bec shes doing you a favor
also try to avoid giving her to eat about an hour before mealtime and no milk before meals as milk is very filling and depletes proteins levels in the blood

Can you try to only give her water instead of milk at night?


It’s hard to know when she is hungry because she takes bottles as a comfort. She doesn’t take a paci so she uses a bottle instead.

And she always has her bottle around and sips from it randomly. So I feel like she never gets really hungry.

It’s a mess. We need to be more strict with her
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tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 18 2022, 10:43 pm
get her a little table and chair instead of a high chair. include her in food preparation as much as you can. don’t make a big deal about whether or not she eats, just offer her the food and end mealtime if she’s not interested. kids that age often eat one good meal a week not a day. my oldest is very picky and also tiny so I get the stress but ultimately all you can do is offer the food, you can’t make the child eat it. it’s kind of a metaphor for parenting in general
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amother
Plum


 

Post Thu, Aug 18 2022, 10:44 pm
amother OP wrote:
It’s hard to know when she is hungry because she takes bottles as a comfort. She doesn’t take a paci so she uses a bottle instead.

And she always has her bottle around and sips from it randomly. So I feel like she never gets really hungry.

It’s a mess. We need to be more strict with her


Now she sounds exactly like mine! She was also stuck to her bottle.
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tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 18 2022, 10:47 pm
amother Khaki wrote:
you cant give in. sit her in the highchair and feed her whatever nutritious food your giving her. If and once she refuses to eat tell her that she has to come out and no more food since shes not eating. then just take her out but do NOT give her anything else instead. If a kid is hungry they WILL eat. eventually she will come over and ask for food. If she adamantly refuses then nothing will happen if she goes to sleep hungry one night. It may take a few days but she'll get in the habit of eating normal food.
I know this sounds harsh but I have little kids too and it works. Theres no yelling or punishing.... all the parenting experts say to do it this way...


this is true for some kids and not others. there are kids who don’t know they are hungry or have such an aversion to certain foods they won’t eat even if hungry
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