ISO person who helps with teenager/family issues

amother

Thu, Aug 25 2022, 11:13 pm

I need names of people who can help guide me in dealing with my teenager and family dynamics. DC isn't suicidal or OTD BH. When I tried calling the "top/big names/famous" people I was told they are all too busy and will put you on a waiting list for many months or even (a) year(s). I need help/guidance now, and don't have the luxury of waiting. The issues are snowballing and definitely not going away. I know we are on a long journey and it won't end the day I find someone to speak with, but at least I will have an objective person that can help us see the bigger picture. Hopefully, with Hashem's help, we can begin taking baby steps of making better choices and not making the situation worse due to ignorance of how to deal with the situation. Instead, we can begin the journey to a better future.

People we reached out to

Shimon Russell and his wife
YY Jacobson
Shais Taub

I need someone who is easily reachable even if they are not one of the top 3. Time is of essence and Hashem can work through a different shliach if need be that isn't as famous.

P.S. Not only are these people not available, but some of them are also out of our price range. One quoted $500 an hour!

Please give names of who to contact for help with my child and family dynamics.

amother

Copper

Thu, Aug 25 2022, 11:45 pm

R Yakov Horowitz

amother

Fri, Aug 26 2022, 12:39 am

amother Copper wrote:

R Yakov Horowitz

Thanks for the name. What kinds of issues does he deal with?

amother

Yellow

Fri, Aug 26 2022, 2:51 am

We consulted with Rabbi Brezak in a similar situation and found his guidance very helpful. I don't remember the price but wasnt very expensive. You also send him all the background info in advance so you don't waste time giving it to him.
Check out his website

dankbar

Fri, Aug 26 2022, 8:17 am

Why don't you go to a therapist?

mamabird73

Fri, Aug 26 2022, 8:22 am

Rabbi Yisroel Grossberg

amother

SandyBrown

Fri, Aug 26 2022, 8:52 am

Where are you located?
I think it makes a difference.

amother

Copper

Fri, Aug 26 2022, 10:10 am

amother OP wrote:

Thanks for the name. What kinds of issues does he deal with?

General parenting and specifically kids at risk. He’s wrote the Jewish Observer article years ago that spoke about OTD kids in the community and blew the issue open. He started project yes at the time and now has a website Bright Beginnings.

amother

Midnight

Fri, Aug 26 2022, 10:41 am

Susan Lamm-she’s an MSW licenced clinical family and marital therapist. Over 40 years experience. I think her rate is very reasonable not $500 for sure. Based on Brooklyn and 5 towns.

amother

Fri, Aug 26 2022, 11:16 am

dankbar wrote:

Why don't you go to a therapist?

I am not opposed to going, but I am looking for a recommendation for a frum one.

amother

Fri, Aug 26 2022, 11:17 am

amother SandyBrown wrote:

Where are you located?
I think it makes a difference.

No local frum people to help unfortunately.

mha3484

Fri, Aug 26 2022, 11:18 am

Do you have madregos or something like it where you live? This is what they do and should be able to give you referrals.

amother

Fri, Aug 26 2022, 11:19 am

amother Copper wrote:

Does he help with sholom Bayis issues that may be part of the equation too?

amother

Fri, Aug 26 2022, 11:21 am

mha3484 wrote:

Do you have madregos or something like it where you live? This is what they do and should be able to give you referrals.

Nope.

amother

Butterscotch

Fri, Aug 26 2022, 11:23 am

If you put in your location, people can help you more.
If you are in Lakewood, there is an organization called nesivos run by Binyomin Greenspoon. They try to help situations before they spiral out of control.

amother

Fri, Aug 26 2022, 11:45 am

amother Butterscotch wrote:

They try to help situations before they spiral out of control.

That is exactly what I need. Help now while the issues are still "smaller."

Posting my location won't help. I live OOT USA. No local help available, I am sure.

amother

Fri, Aug 26 2022, 11:51 am

amother Yellow wrote:

Thanks for the recommendation. Where is he located so I can Google? What does he specialize in? I would rather speak with someone cause I communicate better like that. If he is too busy and prefers email communication it may not be a good match for our needs. I need someone good enough, but not too busy that I can't call, only email, when need help.

amother

Butterscotch

Fri, Aug 26 2022, 12:00 pm

I don’t know if you want to hear this but ultimately, there is no magician. Work on empowering your marriage first and foremost. Nothing to do with this child.
Work on creating a HAPPY environment for you and the rest of your family, not based on this child. Kids want to be part of a happy unit.
Work on believing in yourself. I’ve been down this road. There will be people taking your money left and right with their expert advice while the truth is you can do this!!!
Create a relationship. With this child and the rest of your family. Make yourself and your husband a team. You can do this.
Ask Hashem for help.
Yes, I’ve been down this road and so burnt out from all the experts out there.

amother

Fri, Aug 26 2022, 12:24 pm

amother Butterscotch wrote:

Everything you said is so true! I think I would benefit from outside help because my husband and I need help in learning skills to get us to a better place in our marriage.

I also need someone to speak with because change is hard and hearing doesn't equal doing. I have watched this scenario unfold and I tried my best to make changes in myself and clue my husband into what we were in for if we don't implement changes.
My husband acknowledges the truth of what I said and wants to change because he realizes the damage he is causing, but long term no changes last for him because he isn't invested enough and it's too much work. Sad

.

I need advice on what to do when he doesn't change his ways and it is causing major issues with our child. My child longs for a good relationship with my husband, but my husband isn't changing long term any time soon, unless miracles happen. I want to change my part in the relationship and daven Hashem will help my husband want to put in the enormous effort and long term commitment to change too.

My child needs help to realize they are so special and I love them and even though my husband doesn't have/want a close relationship. They are worthy and lovable despite the lack of a healthy relationship with their father. My child is looking for a loving father and if it isn't available will look for a substitute in an unhealthy way. Sad

amother

Acacia

Fri, Aug 26 2022, 1:11 pm

Call Relief for a therapist for your child since his father won't change.