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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
amother
OP
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Sun, Aug 28 2022, 8:42 am
Any website I could send a shidduch idea and a shadchan can redt it?
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PinkFridge
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Sun, Aug 28 2022, 8:59 am
Is there a reason you don't want to contact a shadchan directly, and ask to be out of it?
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amother
Eggplant
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Sun, Aug 28 2022, 9:00 am
If Chassidish maybe the organization לשדך
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amother
OP
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Sun, Aug 28 2022, 9:02 am
Would they do a litvish shidduch?
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amother
Eggplant
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Sun, Aug 28 2022, 9:30 am
amother OP wrote: | Would they do a litvish shidduch? |
Probably not
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amother
Olive
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Sun, Aug 28 2022, 9:41 am
Someone recently posted a website to do just this and said it was open to all types. Can't find it now.
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BH Yom Yom
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Sun, Aug 28 2022, 9:42 am
Maybe try Rav Shmuel Neumann from Yismach
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amother
Leaf
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Sun, Aug 28 2022, 10:30 am
It's not respectful to just send names of people to a website without their permission, where others will see it, possibly post it somewhere or pass it onto others without any control of where it goes or who sees it. I had people do this to me and I'm still upset about it, and even though it's been years, I haven't forgiven them.
You feel so helpless and embarrassed and pitiful, it's like getting an anonymous letter, no idea who sent it, who knows about it, who's been talking about you to whoever. It's a cowardly way of doing things imo.
If you want privacy for yourself, you should realize others probably do, too. Obviously you value your own privacy.
Either step up to the plate and contact them yourself, or ask someone who knows them IRL to do so. Or just leave it, if you can't bring yourself to do either of those options.
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amother
Catmint
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Sun, Aug 28 2022, 10:53 am
Why can’t you ask a local shadchan to do it or even a mutual friend.
I’ve had a friend call me to do that.
A friend wasn’t sure about a shiduch she was afraid of what her friend would think of the idea she she asked me to redd it because I don’t know the people involved.
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amother
OP
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Sun, Aug 28 2022, 11:00 am
amother Leaf wrote: | It's not respectful to just send names of people to a website without their permission, where others will see it, possibly post it somewhere or pass it onto others without any control of where it goes or who sees it. I had people do this to me and I'm still upset about it, and even though it's been years, I haven't forgiven them.
You feel so helpless and embarrassed and pitiful, it's like getting an anonymous letter, no idea who sent it, who knows about it, who's been talking about you to whoever. It's a cowardly way of doing things imo.
If you want privacy for yourself, you should realize others probably do, too. Obviously you value your own privacy.
Either step up to the plate and contact them yourself, or ask someone who knows them IRL to do so. Or just leave it, if you can't bring yourself to do either of those options. |
One side knows about it
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amother
Blonde
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Sun, Aug 28 2022, 11:02 am
I would not consider an anonymously redt shidduch for my child.
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amother
Leaf
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Sun, Aug 28 2022, 11:03 am
So? Then either you or someone they know can call the other side to suggest it. You or they can always call the family's rav if they can't think of who else to call.
It's especially ridiculous to submit names through a website if one side has already agreed.
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amother
Dill
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Sun, Aug 28 2022, 12:24 pm
Maybe you can ask someone at Kesher to suggest it?
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Shuly
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Sun, Aug 28 2022, 12:49 pm
caretomatch@gmail.com
A shidduch organization that pays people for their time to go through lists and think of ideas. It's a really special organization.
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amother
Leaf
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Sun, Aug 28 2022, 1:14 pm
Shuly wrote: | caretomatch@gmail.com
A shidduch organization that pays people for their time to go through lists and think of ideas. It's a really special organization. |
Exactly. If you don’t know the single is ok with people combing through lists with their names on it (the frum world is so small) it's not ok to send in their name. Get permission first.
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amother
OP
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Sun, Aug 28 2022, 11:10 pm
amother Dill wrote: | Maybe you can ask someone at Kesher to suggest it? |
Do you have the contact info?
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amother
OP
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Sun, Aug 28 2022, 11:35 pm
I just found their website it seems like they deal with people with medical conditions
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amother
OP
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Sun, Aug 28 2022, 11:36 pm
amother Leaf wrote: | Exactly. If you don’t know the single is ok with people combing through lists with their names on it (the frum world is so small) it's not ok to send in their name. Get permission first. |
I have permission from one side
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