Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette
How to redt a shidduch anonymously?



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2022, 8:42 am
Any website I could send a shidduch idea and a shadchan can redt it?
Back to top

PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2022, 8:59 am
Is there a reason you don't want to contact a shadchan directly, and ask to be out of it?
Back to top

amother
Eggplant


 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2022, 9:00 am
If Chassidish maybe the organization לשדך
Back to top

amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2022, 9:02 am
amother Eggplant wrote:
If Chassidish maybe the organization לשדך

Would they do a litvish shidduch?
Back to top

amother
Eggplant


 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2022, 9:30 am
amother OP wrote:
Would they do a litvish shidduch?


Probably not
Back to top

amother
Olive


 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2022, 9:41 am
Someone recently posted a website to do just this and said it was open to all types. Can't find it now.
Back to top

BH Yom Yom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2022, 9:42 am
Maybe try Rav Shmuel Neumann from Yismach
Back to top

amother
Leaf


 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2022, 10:30 am
It's not respectful to just send names of people to a website without their permission, where others will see it, possibly post it somewhere or pass it onto others without any control of where it goes or who sees it. I had people do this to me and I'm still upset about it, and even though it's been years, I haven't forgiven them.

You feel so helpless and embarrassed and pitiful, it's like getting an anonymous letter, no idea who sent it, who knows about it, who's been talking about you to whoever. It's a cowardly way of doing things imo.

If you want privacy for yourself, you should realize others probably do, too. Obviously you value your own privacy.

Either step up to the plate and contact them yourself, or ask someone who knows them IRL to do so. Or just leave it, if you can't bring yourself to do either of those options.
Back to top

amother
Catmint


 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2022, 10:53 am
Why can’t you ask a local shadchan to do it or even a mutual friend.
I’ve had a friend call me to do that.
A friend wasn’t sure about a shiduch she was afraid of what her friend would think of the idea she she asked me to redd it because I don’t know the people involved.
Back to top

amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2022, 11:00 am
amother Leaf wrote:
It's not respectful to just send names of people to a website without their permission, where others will see it, possibly post it somewhere or pass it onto others without any control of where it goes or who sees it. I had people do this to me and I'm still upset about it, and even though it's been years, I haven't forgiven them.

You feel so helpless and embarrassed and pitiful, it's like getting an anonymous letter, no idea who sent it, who knows about it, who's been talking about you to whoever. It's a cowardly way of doing things imo.

If you want privacy for yourself, you should realize others probably do, too. Obviously you value your own privacy.

Either step up to the plate and contact them yourself, or ask someone who knows them IRL to do so. Or just leave it, if you can't bring yourself to do either of those options.

One side knows about it
Back to top

amother
Blonde


 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2022, 11:02 am
I would not consider an anonymously redt shidduch for my child.
Back to top

amother
Leaf


 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2022, 11:03 am
amother OP wrote:
One side knows about it

So? Then either you or someone they know can call the other side to suggest it. You or they can always call the family's rav if they can't think of who else to call.
It's especially ridiculous to submit names through a website if one side has already agreed.
Back to top

amother
Dill


 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2022, 12:24 pm
Maybe you can ask someone at Kesher to suggest it?
Back to top

Shuly




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2022, 12:49 pm
caretomatch@gmail.com

A shidduch organization that pays people for their time to go through lists and think of ideas. It's a really special organization.
Back to top

amother
Leaf


 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2022, 1:14 pm
Shuly wrote:
caretomatch@gmail.com

A shidduch organization that pays people for their time to go through lists and think of ideas. It's a really special organization.

Exactly. If you don’t know the single is ok with people combing through lists with their names on it (the frum world is so small) it's not ok to send in their name. Get permission first.
Back to top

amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2022, 11:10 pm
amother Dill wrote:
Maybe you can ask someone at Kesher to suggest it?

Do you have the contact info?
Back to top

amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2022, 11:35 pm
amother OP wrote:
Do you have the contact info?

I just found their website it seems like they deal with people with medical conditions
Back to top

amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2022, 11:36 pm
amother Leaf wrote:
Exactly. If you don’t know the single is ok with people combing through lists with their names on it (the frum world is so small) it's not ok to send in their name. Get permission first.

I have permission from one side
Back to top
Page 1 of 1 Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Photographer who does shidduch pics
by amother
2 Thu, Mar 21 2024, 7:41 pm View last post
Indoor date for “older” shidduch NY
by amother
15 Wed, Jan 10 2024, 12:10 am View last post
Which photographer for shidduch picture?
by amother
14 Tue, Nov 07 2023, 11:45 pm View last post
Photographer for shidduch picture 0 Mon, Nov 06 2023, 6:14 pm View last post
Parody of shidduch resume - join in!
by amother
2 Sun, Nov 05 2023, 3:36 pm View last post