Psoriasis!! Shalom Bayis issue

amother

Mocha

Wed, Aug 24 2022, 5:59 pm

vintagebknyc wrote:

There are a few really good, injectable treatments for this. I've seen miraculous results on friends. You need to force him to see a doctor

Yup my husband takes injections. He had really bad patches all over his body as well as his scalp. He's all clear now bh.

amother

Pearl

Tue, Aug 30 2022, 7:54 am

my father also got healed from following the diet - though not religously as he is also very picky about his food
my mother tried her best and than prayed alot
hugs OP

amother

Whitesmoke

Tue, Aug 30 2022, 8:06 am

Op, did I read correctly: you've been dealing with this in over and decade, and have spent a decade hiding your disgust and instead telling your husband he should take care of it for himself?

You said this could be in the shalom bayis section.

So how about TELL him that it bothers you? And ask him to get it treated for you.

amother

Tue, Aug 30 2022, 1:33 pm

amother Pearl wrote:

my father also got healed from following the diet - though not religously as he is also very picky about his food
my mother tried her best and than prayed alot
hugs OP

Which diet are you referring to?

amother

Ebony

Tue, Aug 30 2022, 1:55 pm

amother Poppy wrote:

The shots are life changing.

Are the shots cortisone?

amother

Tue, Aug 30 2022, 2:00 pm

amother Whitesmoke wrote:

I have absolutely told him, many times over the years, nicely, that it bothers me. I have begged him to do the shots, but he is refusing because he claims that the shots cause low immune, and apparently he will "always be sick" if he takes them (I don't show evidence online that this is true). I have made him appointments at dermatologists over the years, some he cancelled, and the one appointment that he went to about 2-3 years ago told him to do the shots, but he didn't do them. Ended up being a waste of time.
One thing he will do, is waste money on creams that google told him to get, that are expensive, don't work (actually his skin has only gotten worse), that stink, are sticky, and ruin our linen.
When he suggests that I don't initiate intimacy like I used to, he himself says "is it because of my skin?" and I don't deny it, and say things like "I love you but please take care of it". Then he acts sad and hurt and insulted which causes feel guilty and I then do the deed, even though I want to throw up. I want to also add, that if he took the shots and did what he could and what was recommended to him by his dermatologist, I would feel so different about all of this. Yes, I would no doubt still have a hard time dealing with it, but I would know he is trying his best and did what he could. I would have to work through it, mentally and physically, but it would be completely different to try and move past knowing that he was doing his best to treat it. That is not the situation here.
There is also the issue of scratching his skin in areas of the house like the bathroom, bedroom, living room etc, where the kids and I hang out. Plopping down on the couch only to find out that you sat in a pile of flakey skin, in beyond gross an unfair to the rest of us (yes, I have asked KINDLY him not to).
As mentioned in my original post, I am really clean phobic and hygienic, to a fault. This type of thing would be hard and gross for anyone, but if you knew me you would know that this is EXTRA hard, since I literally cannot handle ANY dirt, or gross flaky stuff EVER.
As a side point, I googled "worst cases of psoriasis" and the images that come up are child's play compared to what my husband has. I wish his situation was that "bad". When I say his entire body, every inch, is covered besides his face and fingers, I am not exaggerating. I wish I was.

One thing I have yet to do after all these years is express my nausea and disgust with regards to his physical appearance, I just dont think that will help, or get me anywhere, and it's not nice for a husband to feel his wife is nauseated by him, and if I had something about me that my husband didn't like, I would be ok with him telling me, but would be hurt if I knew I made him nauseous, and don't want to do that to him. And I also dont think it's a hurt he will ever get over. So here I am, trying to be the nice, understanding wife, who is kindly expressing my wishes for him to help himself, for the past 10 years, and getting nowhere, but maybe this was the wrong approach all along.
I am trying to be understanding here, but I am hurting. If I ever express that it's hard for me, which I rarely ever do, he tells me I am making it all about me, and "imagine how hard it is for him" (says the guy who wont do anything to help himself, yet somehow makes me feel bad for him and guilty that I said anything).

amother

Pumpkin

Tue, Aug 30 2022, 2:53 pm

I totally understand you. I used to beg by husband to do something about it. The house was always flaky and linen bloody from itching. He was scared of the shots. He tried some creams/ diet with no affect. After a few years he kinda got frustrated and he decided its enough and BH is doing shots now. He is so much happier that his skin is almost 90% better (bh).

amother

Maroon

Tue, Aug 30 2022, 3:27 pm

What are these shots made out of?

amother

Pumpkin

Tue, Aug 30 2022, 3:57 pm

They are biologic drugs, ie Stelara

amother

Lily

Wed, Aug 31 2022, 2:20 am

oooh I so feel bad for you. I dont know how you handle it. you are definitely a nicer wife than I. can you say this is really causing your shalom bayis to be tough and is he willing to go to couples therapy or to take care of it?? as an aside I want to mention that my husband takes an immune suppressant - humira- and BH does not get sick often. ALSO this is something he can try- if he sees he's constantly picking up things he can stop the shots and do something else. OR he might even see its worth it! but he really may not even get sick often. Oy I really really feel bad for you. BTW do you think it could be a reaction to something in the detergent if every inch covered in clothing is reacting but his face and fingers are not. maybe try switching detergents to see what happens.

ValleyMom

Wed, Aug 31 2022, 10:41 am

I am not a doctor by any stretch of the imagination but if youre asking for suggestions and live in the USA try taking a mini vacation near a mineral hot spring. They have them in different areas of America particularly the Pacific Southwest:
Cambria
Palm Springs
Arizona
New Mexico

Something in the mineral hot springs has been known to help psoriasis.

Obviously if you live in Israel then the Dead Sea is the BEST.

Good Luck to you.

amother

Lily

Wed, Aug 31 2022, 1:48 pm

Another thought, maybe the reason his hands and face are not affected is Bec they get sunlight/uv rays.so maybe the light therapy would work for him!

amother

Maroon

Thu, Sep 29 2022, 6:05 pm

How long does it take for the shots to heel? Do you need to take the shots on constant basis?

amother

Ivory

Thu, Sep 29 2022, 6:23 pm

amother Maroon wrote:

How long does it take for the shots to heel? Do you need to take the shots on constant basis?

We saw the improvement very quickly- I think within a week or two, or so?
First 2 shots were a month apart; and then switched to once in 3 months.

amother

Maroon

Thu, Sep 29 2022, 6:27 pm

amother Ivory wrote:

We saw the improvement very quickly- I think within a week or two, or so?
First 2 shots were a month apart; and then switched to once in 3 months.

Thanks for this info. Are the shots for life?

amother

Maroon

Thu, Sep 29 2022, 6:30 pm

Is this something my Pediatrician would treat?

amother

Ivory

Thu, Sep 29 2022, 6:31 pm

amother Maroon wrote:

Thanks for this info. Are the shots for life?

We’re at the beginning stage of these shots, but possibly yes. It’s a condition-like diabetes, thyroid issues, etc-conditions often need to be managed for life.

amother

Ivory

Thu, Sep 29 2022, 6:32 pm

amother Maroon wrote:

Is this something my Pediatrician would treat?

Our pediatrician sent us to a dermatologist.