Having guests on RH

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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Rosh Hashana-Yom Kippur

Having guests on RH

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amother

Lotus

Sun, Sep 04 2022, 11:07 pm

We try not to have guests on Rosh Hashana because it’s not a yom tov to socialize.
Of course if someone needs a place to stay we won’t say no.
We made a Shalom zachor on a Friday night first day of Rosh Hashana and it felt very strange to have so many people in my house.

amother

Orange

Sun, Sep 04 2022, 11:11 pm

RH is not a yom tov. It's a high holy day. It's not a day for frivolity.

Growing up, we never had guests. We went to my grandparents or they came to us.
Now my parents come to me, but I do not consider them guests.

I would not invite people socially for RH. Save it for Sukkos.

DrMom

Sun, Sep 04 2022, 11:13 pm

We have guests (or we are guests) every RH. For us, it it enhances the specialness of the day.

iammom

Sun, Sep 04 2022, 11:17 pm

I don’t know, growing up in my house it was never like this. Maybe my parents missed the boat by keeping a yom tov spirit in the house? It’s still yom tov. We sang Rosh Hashana zemiros and said over appropriate divrei Torah and it also felt like yom tov.

There’s a nice balance I think.

Thisisnotmyreal

Sun, Sep 04 2022, 11:19 pm

mfb wrote:

I’ve never heard something like that?
Where does this come from?
What I’ve learned is that on rosh hashonah we crown Hashem. So there are times to be serious but also times to be b’simcha!

Of course Rosh Hashana is done besimcha, but for reference, Yom kippur is much lighter than RH. Rosh Hashanah is a lot more about our work and our effort than YK.

It's our responsibility to show Hashem that we're truly interested in Him being ours on Rosh Hashanah.

I didn't really complete the thought of words having creative power. It's true year round as we get to participate in creation with Hashem while he's being mechadesh betuvo bechol yom tomid. On Rosh Hashanah the recreation of the world is more similar to creation of sheshes yimei breishis, implementing something new and it is vastly different than the standard constant repetition of the 10 maamaros that Hashem does to keep the world going. Since our words have creative power that is much more impactful than any other day of the year, I want those words I say to be extremely holy, positive, meaningful, sweet and creative in and of themselves. Which is where the machzor and tehillim come into play. I can rely on those words to help make my year a sweet one and also there's a lot of Aleph to tof tefilos that are basically me saying in the best manner possible " I want all the brachos from Aleph to tof this year"

I really don't know the impact my own words can have, I'd rather play safe.

amother

Stoneblue

Sun, Sep 04 2022, 11:21 pm

amother Orange wrote:

Wut? See Nechemia 8:10. It most certainly IS a Yom tov and you will only bring bracha and favorable gezeiros on your home by including guests. So say a few more meaningful words and torah, but why just sit there with your own family?

mommy3b2c

Sun, Sep 04 2022, 11:25 pm

amother Orange wrote:

RH is not a Yom tov ? Scratching Head

The things I read on imamother …..

mfb

Sun, Sep 04 2022, 11:29 pm

mommy3b2c wrote:

RH is not a Yom tov ? Scratching Head

The things I read on imamother …..

Totally agree with this.
Yes in shul we daven …. But the meal is a simchadige yom tov meal

ra_mom

Sun, Sep 04 2022, 11:30 pm

We have a hard time finding guests since different shuls end at very different times, but we've definitely had guests on R"H whenever possible.

amother

Saddlebrown

Sun, Sep 04 2022, 11:31 pm

We tend to have couple and singles (as we do throughout the year). Both are types that 4 meals alone at home is a lot for. And yes, we talk etc., we want them to feel comfortable and that we’re happy to have them.

amother

Rose

Mon, Sep 05 2022, 12:24 am

We only invite from our own shul, for logistics. We specifically invite people with kids who match the kids we have who will be in real need of entertainment by that point. For dd and ds, knowing their friends will be with them for the meal helps them to stay in shul and not need to duck out and find people. And it makes the long day easier for me watching everyone.

amother

Navy

Mon, Sep 05 2022, 12:38 am

The possuk in Nechemia describes Rosh Hashana and says the nation made a שמחה גדולה
{ט}וַיֹּ֣אמֶר נְחֶמְיָ֣ה ה֣וּא הַתִּרְשָׁ֡תָא וְעֶזְרָ֣א הַכֹּהֵ֣ן ׀ הַסֹּפֵ֡ר וְהַלְוִיִּם֩ הַמְּבִינִ֨ים אֶת־הָעָ֜ם לְכָל־הָעָ֗ם הַיּ֤וֹם קָדֹֽשׁ־הוּא֙ לַיהוָ֣ה אֱלֹהֵיכֶ֔ם אַל־תִּֽתְאַבְּל֖וּ וְאַל־תִּבְכּ֑וּ כִּ֤י בוֹכִים֙ כָּל־הָעָ֔ם כְּשָׁמְעָ֖ם אֶת־דִּבְרֵ֥י הַתּוֹרָֽה׃
{י}וַיֹּ֣אמֶר לָהֶ֡ם לְכוּ֩ אִכְל֨וּ מַשְׁמַנִּ֜ים וּשְׁת֣וּ מַֽמְתַקִּ֗ים וְשִׁלְח֤וּ מָנוֹת֙ לְאֵ֣ין נָכ֣וֹן ל֔וֹ כִּֽי־קָד֥וֹשׁ הַיּ֖וֹם לַאֲדֹנֵ֑ינוּ וְאַל־תֵּ֣עָצֵ֔בוּ כִּֽי־חֶדְוַ֥ת יְהוָ֖ה הִ֥יא מָֽעֻזְּכֶֽם׃
{יא}וְהַלְוִיִּ֞ם מַחְשִׁ֤ים לְכָל־הָעָם֙ לֵאמֹ֣ר הַ֔סּוּ כִּ֥י הַיּ֖וֹם קָדֹ֑שׁ וְאַל־תֵּעָצֵֽבוּ׃
{יב}וַיֵּלְכ֨וּ כָל־הָעָ֜ם לֶאֱכֹ֤ל וְלִשְׁתּוֹת֙ וּלְשַׁלַּ֣ח מָנ֔וֹת וְלַעֲשׂ֖וֹת שִׂמְחָ֣ה גְדוֹלָ֑ה כִּ֤י הֵבִ֙ינוּ֙ בַּדְּבָרִ֔ים אֲשֶׁ֥ר הוֹדִ֖יעוּ לָהֶֽם׃

amother

Papaya

Mon, Sep 05 2022, 12:53 am

amother Tanzanite wrote:

Breslov doesn't talk either.... Good thing dh is away rh lol.

(Other years, this year we don't know)

Please don’t go to Uman!!!

Elfrida

Mon, Sep 05 2022, 1:01 am

We go to a neitz minyan, so for lunch we only invite people who daven at the same shul. Having got up around 5:00, and then had a full morning in shul, we didn't want to wait another couple of hours for someone who went to a regular minyan.

In the evening, especially second night, everyone finishes closer to the same time, so we can be more flexible. At the same time, the night meals tend to be relatively simple, because we want to get to bed at a reasonable time, so it's not the best time to invite. If anyone asks to come to us they are welcome, and if they are also davening neitz they appreciate it, but it's not the long elaborate meal that some people prefer.

DrMom

Mon, Sep 05 2022, 1:11 am

Thisisnotmyreal wrote:

Words have creative power and so ideally I would like the only words I say to be machzor and tehillim. I do communicate with the people around me as needed but I don't converse and tell those I'm hosting that I won't. If other people talk, that's fine. I'm not going to participate.

I think I'd rather eat alone than eat at someone's house where the hosts don't talk to me at all.

salt

Mon, Sep 05 2022, 1:13 am

amother Saddlebrown wrote:

This.
People who are alone should be invited for yom tov, especially Rosh Hashana when they would have to prepare 4 meals.

shabbatiscoming

Mon, Sep 05 2022, 1:27 am

Wow, so different in my community. We love hosting on chagim, davka to enhance the chag even more.
And for the poster who said Rosh HaShana is not a yom tov, you are mistaken. It most definitely is a chag.

amother

Bottlebrush

Mon, Sep 05 2022, 1:48 am

What hosta said about shul times being so different and can't predict what time even our own shul will end.

amother

Tuberose

Mon, Sep 05 2022, 2:18 am

DrMom wrote:

I think I'd rather eat alone than eat at someone's house where the hosts don't talk to me at all.

This. And I have eaten RH meals by myself, and most likely will this year as well (unless I find some guests to invite, lol). A bit lonely, yes, but at least not awkward!

amother

Babyblue

Mon, Sep 05 2022, 4:04 am

In our house, Rosh hashana is a yom tov just like any other.

You must be joyous and pleasant.
We dont hold of loong extended davenings just for the sake of it. It's a pretty new thing.

We'd way rather sit with family and guests and talk about the day- ut not too heavy because it's yom tov.

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