Someome I was relying on just let me down, out of the blue..

Chayalle

Tue, Sep 06 2022, 9:02 am

When my kids were younger, I always viewed these kinds of arrangements as "let's see if they work out". I learned a certain flexibility from these experiences.

For example, at one point I had my younger DD at a certain babysitter, and older DD went to playgroup. After playgroup, she would join younger DD at babysitter for the last hour. Babysitter's DH was willing to pick DD up from playgroup and take her home with him (it was a very short distance) but I knew that every so often it wouldn't work out and I needed backup. And eventually the whole arrangement didn't work out anymore, for other reasons, and I had to find a different babysitter, and afternoon babysitter.....

OP I think your frustration stems from having viewed the arrangement as a commitment. My experience was that this seldom works out that way long term. It does seem unfair that you were told last minute, though my experience was that this was often the case....

amother

Puce

Tue, Sep 06 2022, 9:03 am

amother OP wrote:

Thank you, yes youre right.
My husband would be available in theory but I prefer to have a fixed thing.

Its a bit of a difficult time but I can see its what I have to do.

Mentioned it again to main teacher and she said really doesnt think its an issue, she would do it for someone else . But def I know if youre paying its a lot more comfortable.
Diff strokes for diff folks I guess.

Really hope I find someone.

I'm a playgroup morah in the UK, and honestly we all seem to be struggling to get enough kids this year so it sounds like she really wants this arrangement to work out for you, so that you'll keep your kid there. I might be wrong, this is just what it seems. She'll work with you, and someone will take your child to the next playgroup. The morah will herself if need be. Hope it all works out iyh.

amother

Aster

Tue, Sep 06 2022, 10:10 am

I had something similar before Covid when I was in the city all day. My little son’s bus came home around 10 min before my bigger girls. I paid someone else’s babysitter 10 dollars a day to wait with my son. I paid because I wanted commitment and responsibility - I didn’t want her to “forget” if it was cold or raining, or if she had a day off from her regular job.

amother

Slategray

Tue, Sep 06 2022, 6:03 pm

I did something like this for another mother one year, as a favor. I started out happy to do it but ended up feeling taken for granted. It actually can be quite a hassle if the weather’s bad or one of the kids is dawdling or kvetchy, and day after day after day. It really isn’t the kind of thing to have someone else do for you all year if your dh can do it. It’s a shame the morah didn’t tell you earlier. You’re right that she was wrong not to tell you, but she clearly didn’t think about the uncomfortable position it would put you in and didn’t mean any harm. Usually the chilled easygoing morahs are the most warm and loving ones, so your little one is probably very happy there! I would say gam zu ltovah, iy”H the aggravation you’re feeling now should be a kapparah especially now so close to Rosh Hashanah, better the aggravation should come from something minor like this than ch”v anything serious. And just arrange for dh to walk your dc over.

amother

Tue, Sep 06 2022, 7:17 pm

amother Slategray wrote:

Thanks. I really agree with this.

I have really been looking around and asking people today . Hope I find someone.
And Im back to looking again for a full day slot...basically imposiible for now

Wont work for my husband to do it every day. This was the whole reason why I didnt switch him cos This was working out beautifully.

NotInNJMommy

Tue, Sep 06 2022, 7:34 pm

I'm so sorry, OP. I learned early on to have the simplest most streamlined plans for childcare because of these types of things. It's really hard when others don't think to communicate because they may not realize what it means to need to work. I was a single mom for years, and I'd never have been able to hold down my job if I didn't minimize the complications---and even with that there were always plenty because the schools don't seem to care about sticking to a schedule or calendar.