Lab grown Diamond for Kallah?

amother

Saddlebrown

Tue, Sep 13 2022, 12:32 pm

Lab grown diamonds are way overpriced. I work with diamonds, a lab grown diamonds is about 40% cheaper than a mined one. They should be 80% cheaper. They won't hold the value.
But
If your kallah want a larger stone, then go for it!

amother

Mulberry

Tue, Sep 13 2022, 1:10 pm

As a kallah I noticed right away that the diamond had a lot of imperfections (small black dots in it). I thought it was super ugly and asked the jewelry store if I could pay to upgrade it to a nicer diamond. They saw that I was unhappy and offered to exchange it for a lab grown the same size with better clarity and color (they didn't charge).

I did and I've never looked back! And my man still doesn't know Smile

amother

Tue, Sep 13 2022, 1:18 pm

amother Leaf wrote:

If you give her a choice then give her a choice of settings, shape as well. I think it makes it less awkward.

This is a great idea but we have a place to get the diamond in another town, and thought she could choose the setting locally. So I’m not planning to have her choose the diamond unless I ask her small mined versus larger lab.

amother

Coral

Tue, Sep 13 2022, 7:33 pm

Mommy1:) wrote:

don't do this. marriage should have a foundation of honesty trust dialogue and respect.

I don't get this. It isn't the chosson buying the ring for the kallah, it's the MIL. So it has nothing to do with the foundation of honest or trust. It's a gift like any other gift, and you say thank you to whatever you get.

Now, if it's truly the chosson buying it for the kallah, then that's a whole other story. He should be trying to honor his kallah wishes. But since we've upended the way of the world and it's the MIL buying the ring, then that upends normal processes for these things as well. Why must the parents always get the short end of the stick? If they're the ones ponying up money for the ring, then they get to decide what to buy.

If the kallah is not happy, she can work it out with the chosson at a later time. They can always trade in the current stone for one of her wishes. The chosson can surprise his wife, or do this as a special gift from him to her. Now that's meaningful and will hold a special place in her heart. So much more meaningful than a MIL picking out a diamond ring for her DIL.

amother

Coral

Tue, Sep 13 2022, 7:39 pm

amother OP wrote:

Is it something that the kallah should be asked about? Told about?

(I’m married over twenty years and would’ve chosen a larger lab diamond myself!)

I don't. I'd ask about style or cut, but I decide on the rest. To me it's a gift like any other. If it's to be truly what its intended to be, then it would fall on the chosson. A chosson is supposed to buy the ring for his kallah, not his mommy. If we baby the kids to this degree, and they aren't prepared for marriage, then this is what it is. The chosson can always upgrade it when he lands on his feet and can treat his wife accordingly.