Is it bad if I miss orientation :(

amother

NeonYellow

Tue, Sep 13 2022, 7:58 pm

amother Cerulean wrote:

OP, I think you did the right thing! Not to hijack your thread, but I’m curious if any of you mothers are from Chicago? I am and we had orientation tonight as well (bais yaakov).

I am but my kids are at Arie Crown. We had orientation last week.

amother

Tangerine

Tue, Sep 13 2022, 8:18 pm

amother Nemesia wrote:

What bothers me the most is you saying she's my ninth kid... So what? She doesn't deserve less than the first second or third. If you went by those you should go for her as well.

I was responding to a teacher who said I'm missing valuable information. I'm not.

(Yes, it's her homework. Yes, it should take ten minutes a night. Yes, we give weekly quizzes. Yes, please call me if you have any concerns - or don't, depending on the teacher. Did I get it right?)

Nothing to do with my kid who honestly couldn't care less.

ETA: and I did say I went.

amother

Sand

Tue, Sep 13 2022, 8:24 pm

amother Scarlet wrote:

Where are all of you from, that only 50% of moms showed up?

Here in Baltimore 100% of DD’s 4th grade class’ moms were at orientation!

My husband reported there were more dads than moms!! Hooray!!

amother

Catmint

Tue, Sep 13 2022, 11:16 pm

amother Feverfew wrote:

I don't ever go. Don't go. You are exhausted the last thing you need to do is go there now. Majority of people go out of obligation...not because they want to. No reason to feel guilty. You are taking care of your family. My kids would much rather me be home with them than to leave them with a babysitter. I do go to pta because I find that purposeful.

Her daughter prepared something and expects her to go.

Aylat

Wed, Sep 14 2022, 1:56 am

amother Tangerine wrote:

I'm on the way to orientation now, but only because of the optics...

Sorry to tell you this, but this is child number nine, do you REALLY think the teacher is going to tell me something new? Something important that I need to know? Yes, she has to do homework (and it's HER homework btw, not mine). I got it. Anything else?

Even with child #9 (bH I have 6 in the school system) don't you want to meet the teacher, make contact, say, hi, I'm Chani's mum, thanks for teaching her? Maybe it's just my kids, but every single one of them I need to be in contact with the teacher in the course of the year for one issue or another, sometimes right at the beginning to pre-empt issues. I also like to meet the other parents in the class.

If you're postpartum, ill, have a close simcha, work commitment, clash with another child's event etc etc then sure, you would miss it. But I do find it has intrinsic value.

Aylat

Wed, Sep 14 2022, 1:58 am

[url=https://www.imamother.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=6471879#6471879][b][color=black]amother wrote:

I overthought and was on the brink of going. I listened to my body and tomm is a fresh new day iyh. Layla Tov !!

Great!

amother

Tulip

Wed, Sep 14 2022, 3:36 am

amother Scarlet wrote:

Where are all of you from, that only 50% of moms showed up?

Here in Baltimore 100% of DD’s 4th grade class’ moms were at orientation!

Baltimore here. I was going to say the same. I went to my son’s 4th grade orientation last night. My older son had the same rebbe and I still went to hear him (english teacher is new). My son asked me to make sure I get the laffy taffy for his desk… it’s a thing. I was actually one of the only mothers who came without her husband (mine works at OCA and they also had orientation last night so he was there), all seats were taken and dads stood. Tonight I have middle school night for my other son. Every parent goes. (TA for reference). When I had a daughter at Bnos, it was also jam packed.
Nothing groundbreaking happens there, but everybody goes.

amother

Turquoise

Wed, Sep 14 2022, 4:28 am

When our oldest was first starting school, dh and I religiously went together to every orientation night. By the time our third was starting, we knew the drill and didn't think we both needed to be there and started switching off. One of us still goes, but not both (unless we have 2 kids whose teachers are presenting on the same night). And honestly, makes more sense that way, especially since childcare is tough. How do you find a babysitter when everyone in town needs a babysitter on the same night lol. One of my kids has tonight, I'm going and dh is staying home. Next week, two of our kids have on different nights, dh is going to those.

amother

PlumPink

Wed, Sep 14 2022, 5:08 am

amother Nemesia wrote:

What bothers me the most is you saying she's my ninth kid... So what? She doesn't deserve less than the first second or third. If you went by those you should go for her as well.

This. Don’t keep having babies if it means you can’t be there for your other kids.

amother

Feverfew

Wed, Sep 14 2022, 5:30 am

amother PlumPink wrote:

This. Don’t keep having babies if it means you can’t be there for your other kids.

This is very judgemental. Not going to orientation when you heard the same things many times over isn't not being there for your kids. When I was in school there was never parent orientation and we all managed just fine. Even if I had one kid I wouldn't go. I find it to be a huge waste of time and I have no interest in going out of obligation like most other people do. And for the record, I'm a pretty good mom who spends tons and tons of time with my kids. Going to orientation is not indicative in any manner of being a good mom. I know plenty of people who go for the optics and treat their kids terribly.

amother

Dahlia

Wed, Sep 14 2022, 6:01 am

amother PlumPink wrote:

This. Don’t keep having babies if it means you can’t be there for your other kids.

This is very judgemental and mean. Additionally you did not read the original post. That mother said she DID go and posted that again to reiterate that. She just did not find it to be super important.

amother

Thistle

Wed, Sep 14 2022, 7:20 am

I am so glad I went. I brought my newborn and yes I work full time out of the home. Yes it was hectic and I was exhausted. What is sleep? But my kids loved getting the note I left in their desk. And loved hearing something I saw in their classroom. Did I learn much? No. They also sent home the same flyers they gave out for those who didn't make it. But probably 90% made it (sometimes there was a conflict with another grade at the same time...)

Sewsew_mom

Wed, Sep 14 2022, 7:47 am

amother Thistle wrote:

Well.. I guess it boils down to how much you find sleep important.
For some sleep is more important than others. One doesn't get a medal for not sleeping enough. I think pple think they are martyrs.
Guys. It's orientation. It's not written jn the Torah.
If a mother has a family and she is exhausted and worn down-give her a freaking break.
Anyone who pushes themselves. Good for you. You didn't gain parenting points or any points from God. You feel good about yourself so that's great for you. Don't put that in other mothers.

snailmail

Wed, Sep 14 2022, 3:10 pm

amother Turquoise wrote:

THIS!
I think collectively we have maybe missed a couple of orientation / parents evenings, but I feel main thing for going is for kids to see we are interested in what they do at school, and also for school & teachers to see that we as parents are interested in our kids education. The substance of what is said can be sent via email, but that is not why we go. I am fully on top of which teachers are teaching my children, but hearing about them / speaking to them on phone is very different to actually meeting them in person. But if it doesn't work out, dont drive yourself crazy to go.