Teacher refused to allow daughter to drink

BrisketBoss

Thu, Sep 15 2022, 10:49 am

amother Tangerine wrote:

You often don’t know that you need an exception… until you need that exception. So every girl needs to have an accident in class in order to get bathroom privileges?

I had a stomach issue last night, with no warning. I had only a few minutes to make it to the bathroom. Thankfully I was in my home, not in a classroom.

Happened to me in college! The next day, I stayed 'home' for my one class, but that day I left the room without announcement three times. Because...adult privilege. No one chastised me. My professor merely asked me after class if I was feeling alright.

nicole81

Thu, Sep 15 2022, 10:52 am

I understand no food or drink in a science lab (step outside) but in a regular class no water?? No bathroom privileges?? I'd consider the latter corporal punishment. And I would ultimately write up and look to terminate any teacher who was adamant that these rules are necessary.

Ema of 5

Thu, Sep 15 2022, 11:18 am

amother DarkGray wrote:

If your daughter has a real need, speak to the teacher. She'll give permission.
The rule isn't crazy. The teacher just needs to be open to exceptions.
Start throwing those tomatoes...

It’s not crazy that someone can’t have a drink when they want one? Does anyone restrict your drinking at work? What exactly is the life skill being learned here?

amother

DarkGray

Thu, Sep 15 2022, 11:33 am

Ema of 4 wrote:

It’s not crazy that someone can’t have a drink when they want one? Does anyone restrict your drinking at work? What exactly is the life skill being learned here?

No, I don't think it's crazy to not allow drinks whenever they want.
I allow drinks, but only during quiet work.

Quote:

What exactly is the life skill being learned here?

Responsibility, time management, problem solving...
The girls know that now there is no drinking. So while they're doing their work they remember that if they want to drink, now's the time.
The same thing happens by recess.

Ema of 5

Thu, Sep 15 2022, 11:42 am

amother DarkGray wrote:

So if a girl is hungry, thirst, has to go to the bathroom, and wants to be active during recess (which is not a long enough time for all those things, by the way) she’s just s-o-l? Seriously….this is a kid we are talking about.
Also, no answer about whether someone restricts your bathroom and/or drinking abilities at work.
I don’t think not allowing children to not have a drink is teaching them time management skills, or anything else you mentioned.

amother

Thu, Sep 15 2022, 11:52 am

amother DarkGray wrote:

This is an insane outlook. She drank at recess and lunch and was still thirsty. Does your body only need drinks and the bathroom at properly scheduled times? Thanks for making my daughter hate school and for missing out on all the lessons while she feels uncomfortable. She learned that teachers lack compassion. That is all.

amother

DarkGreen

Thu, Sep 15 2022, 11:59 am

amother DarkGray wrote:

How does restricting drinking teach time management and responsibilities? It just teaches you to suffer and to not be responsive to your bodies signals. This attitude and mindset is very not ok.
Please rethink your approach.

Restricting drinks and bathrooms is a control tactic from the teachers and is never in the best interest of the student.

It actually a great life skill to teach students to drink throughout the day. If your intent is on teaching life skills you should go out of your way to increase the accessibility of water throughout the day and not restrict it.

amother

DarkGreen

Thu, Sep 15 2022, 12:02 pm

amother DarkGray wrote:

I let my students drink.
I let my students leave to the bathroom.

My students drink during quiet work.
Since I work as a teacher, no, I don't drink during class and I don't leave for the bathroom either.

Why can’t your students drink during regular class time?

amother

Melon

Thu, Sep 15 2022, 12:11 pm

We weren't allowed to drink in class when we were in elementary (I don't remember about high school) unless it was a hot day or we had permission and I'm not traumatized from it . I think on hot days they were more lenient or we could ask permission, no one sat there dehydrating but we didn't sit there drinking all lesson either.

Was your daughter making sure to drink during recess or did she leave it until last minute and then got a headache? Recess is for drinking, if she still needs more after that then by all means speak to the teacher but I would think that a 35 minute period would be ok to take a break from drinking. I don't spend all day drinking and most kids don't need to drink the whole time.

It can cause interruptions to the lesson when everyone has to go out and get a drink and then everyone needs the bathroom, imagine if you were the teacher.

amother

Thu, Sep 15 2022, 12:17 pm

amother Melon wrote:

For the hundredth time she was drinking at every opportunity ( which are few and far between ). I don't really care that you weren't traumatized. My kid is and it's not ok. Who has 35 minute periods? Her classes are way longer with one ten minute break in the morning and one in the afternoon. She's supposed to wait on line for the bathroom and eat her snack in that time too. Forget socializing or chilling there's no time for that. What's so hard to understand here?

amother

Thu, Sep 15 2022, 12:19 pm

Gosh reading some aggravating posts here is just making me angrier. I didn't speak to the teacher yet, I had just spoken to her about allowing my kid to use the bathroom as soon as I found out about that rule. Now I need to argue another rule. Why is the burden on me, all it does is put a stigma on me and my child. These are basic rights and needs, it's not ok. All of you teachers who do this, shame on you.

watergirl

Thu, Sep 15 2022, 12:21 pm

amother DarkGray wrote:

How to learn responsibility: child will pack her water bottle if she wants to have free access to water. If she forgets, she will have to manage with the water fountain.

How to learn time management: Child has to remember to pack it every day before school.

How to learn problem solving: Child will have to pack a spill-proof water bottle, and if it should leak, child will have to problem solve a way to clean up any water and/or replace any papers which got wet as needed.

There, I did it for you but in a manner which is not authoritarian and purposeless and recognizes that children are humans who each have their unique needs and preferences.

Ema of 5

Thu, Sep 15 2022, 12:21 pm

amother DarkGray wrote:

Is that a restriction coming from your boss, or is it self imposed?

amother

DarkGray

Thu, Sep 15 2022, 12:26 pm

Ema of 4 wrote:

Is that a restriction coming from your boss, or is it self imposed?

It's self restraint. I know that once I go in to the classroom, I'm there until I dismiss my class.
Therefore, I do what I have to before I go into class.
I know I can handle the 1.5 hours of no bathroom and/or drink. I understand that my students might not hence my rules.

watergirl

Thu, Sep 15 2022, 12:30 pm

amother Melon wrote:

This is what I was talking about in terms of learning to be empathetic.

Empathy: the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

Please recognize that there are people who are not you and who have different experiences and needs. Understand that, and stop thinking that something that worked for you is true for everyone else.

No one should need to interrupt the teacher to go out and get a drink. That's the reason a water bottle is needed. Drink as needed and move on with your life. Bathroom does not have to be a disruption. Kid needs to get up and go, they can go take a pass off the wall and go quietly. If the pass is gone, it means they have to wait. We had a system like this and it worked well. I think there were 2 passes for girls and 2 for boys. Make a dongle with each child's name, and the child replaces the bathroom pass with their name dongle so the teacher knows where everyone is... it's simple and easy to meet a child's need. A child can have the right to go to the bathroom as needed in a quiet and undisruptive way.

amother

Tangerine

Thu, Sep 15 2022, 12:37 pm

Well, it is good practice for fasting on Yom Kippur, even though children aren't supposed to fast. And it's good practice for violating the halacha about not delaying bathroom use.

And as far as everyone leaving the classroom to use the bathroom, there's another interesting halachic concept called "Pas Besalo." If someone knows that they have access, they may feel less pressure and be MORE able to wait. (Food was set up on the route for the kohen bringing the Se'ir L'azazel. Knowing that food was there if he really needed it, he was usually able to continue fasting.)

amother

Melon

Thu, Sep 15 2022, 12:47 pm

watergirl wrote:

I hear your point.

Perhaps OP can speak to the teacher and clarify what the rules are in a calm way and work together so that they all get their needs met