Psa: if your husband is a bal tefila or bal tokea please

amother

Salmon

Sat, Sep 24 2022, 11:03 pm

amother Burntblack wrote:

Excuse me, why is this the wife’s responsibility?

Lol exactly. My husband washes and irons his own

amother

Blue

Sat, Sep 24 2022, 11:12 pm

amother Tiffanyblue wrote:

A grown man should be capable of doing it himself. Women have enough responsibilities.

Do you only do things for husband if he is incapable of doing it himself?

amother

Dahlia

Sun, Sep 25 2022, 9:14 am

amother Blue wrote:

Do you only do things for husband if he is incapable of doing it himself?

No. But to step into many women's shoes, this time of the year is overwhelming. So any add'l responsibility put onto them, no matter how small, creates unpleasantness for them.

My point here is to not kick people down. Even though we do things for our spouses regardless of their capabilities, we can also understand the perspective of women who are overwhelmed at this time of the year. There's no need to be snarky or derisive.

amother

Topaz

Sun, Sep 25 2022, 9:39 am

Some women seem so bitter and broken …..OP was simply helping , what’s with these people “let him do it” and “he’s perfectly capable” …u don’t want to be kind and caring towards ur dear husband don’t advertise it. even the suggestion of “maybe just remind him” makes you aggressive ? Strange.

singleagain

Sun, Sep 25 2022, 9:42 am

amother Topaz wrote:

This is not about being "bitter or broken". This not about "not wanting to be kind or caring toward dear husband"

This is about not adding to a woman's mental load at an already busy time, when men should be perfectly capable of dealing with their own clothing.

amother

Bellflower

Sun, Sep 25 2022, 9:47 am

amother OP wrote:

Remember to prepare his kittel!

Have a gut gebentchta yr!

Thank you for taking the time to send out this reminder.
Blessed are the women who treat their husbands with respect.
Have a gut gebenched yar!

amother

DarkGray

Sun, Sep 25 2022, 9:55 am

I treat my husband with respect, he also washed and prepped his kittel himself because he’s capable of taking care of his needs. He tries not it burden me with extra things since I don’t need more on my plate before Yom tov and he’s a capable adult.

amother

Burntblack

Sun, Sep 25 2022, 9:56 am

amother Topaz wrote:

I’m not bitter or broken. I’m O V E R W H E L M E D . Every morning I wake up with a to do list approximately a mile long. With the kids home most days. Some of the things The To Do list includes cooking, cleaning and doing laundry for the entire family. That is a lot of pressure. We women do not need more of that.
One thing is solely my husband’s responsibility and that is his kittel. The end.

amother

Chambray

Sun, Sep 25 2022, 9:59 am

amother Burntblack wrote:

Excuse me, why is this the wife’s responsibility?

Sorry, but I love this response!

amother

Chambray

Sun, Sep 25 2022, 10:00 am

amother Burntblack wrote:

I get you so well!
Im with you sister!

amother

DarkGray

Sun, Sep 25 2022, 10:15 am

amother Blue wrote:

Do you only do things for husband if he is incapable of doing it himself?

Curious does he do so much in the house erev Yom tov that it makes sense for him to add yet another thing to your long list?

amother

Arcticblue

Sun, Sep 25 2022, 10:16 am

amother Tiffanyblue wrote:

A grown man should be capable of doing it himself. Women have enough responsibilities.

Men have enough responsibilities this time of the year too. So please amothers expect absolutely nothing from your husbands if you can do it yourself.

amother

DarkGray

Sun, Sep 25 2022, 10:17 am

I’m sure there is a psa on imafather, make sure to drop off your wife’s shabbos sheitel to be washed and set, and also don’t forget to pick it up.

amother

DarkGray

Sun, Sep 25 2022, 10:19 am

amother Arcticblue wrote:

Men have enough responsibilities this time of the year too. So please amothers expect absolutely nothing from your husbands if you can do it yourself.

Like what? My husband does a lot for the shul, but he’s home enough to manage his own kittel. Just curious what you think men are busy with now? Mine has to go to the mikvah, that’s pretty much his only obligation. The rest is taking care of his own things and then helping me since I have most burdens.

amother

DarkMagenta

Sun, Sep 25 2022, 10:20 am

amother Arcticblue wrote:

Men have enough responsibilities this time of the year too. So please amothers expect absolutely nothing from your husbands if you can do it yourself.

BH my husband does a LOT around the house but I absolutely disagree that the average man has the same number of responsibilities as the average woman this time of year.