Nursing plus kids | Imamother

amother

Wed, Sep 28 2022, 1:22 am

I have a few little kids BH. And I’m nursing. And I’m iyH going to fast…help. Kids are under 4 and while they can play well sometimes it’s not at all something I can count on. Even when I go into my room to get dressed for two minutes I can come out to screaming. I know me fasting is more important then DH davening but neither of us know of anyone who just doesn’t go to shul on YK to watch their kids. What do people who don’t have big kids do?
Me laying on the couch won’t help much. And I do have my parents who live in the same city as I do but I wouldn’t ask my mother to come over because her avoda is now at shul and not at home.

effess

Wed, Sep 28 2022, 2:04 am

It’s hard!
There are things you can do to make it easier but it will still be hard.
Maybe one of these will resonate
1. Prepare food before-sandwiches, pasta etc. kept it real simple
2. Your husband can go to an early minyan so he can come home earlier
3. Do you have a sister or friend that can come over? It’s easier with two adults around. Even if there are more children.
4. Do you have a cleaning lady who can come over for a few hours during the hours your husband is at Shul? This way there’s a second adult around and she can clean your house at the same time.
5. Do you have a young neighbor, maybe 8 or 9 years old? She can be a mothers helper for an hour or so and although she’s young, she’s old enough to play with a toddler.
Good luck!

amother

Pear

Wed, Sep 28 2022, 2:24 am

My husband is going to a neitz minyan and then will be home to help me. I am nursing plus we have other kids too young to go to shul. I am a terrible faster even without nursing. So nervous!!
Going to get lots of snacks, paper goods, small prizes/games/books.

amother

Wed, Sep 28 2022, 2:33 am

effess wrote:

1. That would be a given. But would still take energy to deal with the kids, put in high chairs, decide what they want…
2. What about mincha/neila? Out of all tefillos Neila is the one he is most looking forward to I think.
3. No:( And I live in an apt so even having someone with kids over would be too crazy. And my kids would be clingy etc
4. My kids aren’t great with strangers. My cleaning lady doesn’t come every week and has set days at other peoples houses.
5. The problem with that age is either they’re old enough to be in shul or their mother needs them to help with their little siblings

amother

Wed, Sep 28 2022, 2:34 am

I’ve never had little kids plus nursing and part of why I’m nervous is that I have no idea what it will be like.
In the past I’ve either done shiurim (postpartum) or wasn’t nursing. And did shiurim this tisha b’av and it was still hard!

amother

Offwhite

Wed, Sep 28 2022, 6:45 am

Im in the same stage as you except pregnant, not nursing and my husband goes to shul in the morning, comes home around noon and goes back for neilah. Anyone in our age range that doesn't have family nearby does the same thing. I remember the first year I said there is absolutely no way I can survive fasting and taking care of the kids myself and he needs to be home, we felt like no one else does this and everyone else figures it out but once he did it once, he started noticing all the other young fathers that slipped out of shul and didn't come back until many hours later. This is life right now, you need all hands on deck.

MummyT

Wed, Sep 28 2022, 6:51 am

There is no doubt about it - its hard! Can I recommend some of the fasting pills I sell? They are similar to kalei tzom but are half the price tbh. I have family/friends that take them during the year for energy, nursing - extra milk supply etc and ive been selling them for almost 10 yrs now - bH loads of happy energetic fasters;) please pm if youre interested...

amother

Forestgreen

Wed, Sep 28 2022, 7:21 am

MummyT wrote:

Do you sell in Israel?

Bnei Berak 10

Wed, Sep 28 2022, 7:33 am

amother Crystal wrote:

Whats in the pills, where are you located and how much are they? As a pregnant mom, I'm also nervous, except I only have 1 under 4, the rest are 5+

All herbal. Every health store carries them. Some years I have seen special formulas for pregnant women.

MummyT

Wed, Sep 28 2022, 7:44 am

amother Crystal wrote:

Whats in the pills, where are you located and how much are they? As a pregnant mom, I'm also nervous, except I only have 1 under 4, the rest are 5+

Thats ok, plenty energy for age 5+ too:). I am in the UK but sell worldwide...they are £3.50 a pack (8 pills)

amother

Calendula

Wed, Sep 28 2022, 9:15 am

If you need your husband home, he can stay home. People who have their husbands home aren't exactly advertising it. But you do what you gotta do.

My husband has been home on YK several times. It's not ideal in any way shape or form but it is what is necessary. And he doesn't talk about it with people and neither do I.

amother

Quince

Wed, Sep 28 2022, 10:15 am

I highly recommend drinking a lot extra in the 3 days before the fast. Not just water, but also sports drinks. (I saw this tip on imamother and it makes a huge difference for me).

It is hard! Tips can help but there is no magic to make it easy.

Another tip: have pumped milk (or formula) so you can give a bottle, especially towards the end.

Lay/sit on the floor with books and toys next to you. If they fight, they fight. You're there.

mizle10

Wed, Sep 28 2022, 12:08 pm

There's no major solution... It's hard. It's a long day. It's not fun. You won't feel well. Many of us are in similar situations. I have a bunch of small kids, currently pregnant, and DH is the gabbai and needs to be in shul all day.
But then it's over, and for me the high I feel on motzei YK is amazing! It's my favorite night of the year!

amother

Heather

Wed, Sep 28 2022, 1:06 pm

I'm boggled by all these yk fasting questions. Lot of us have it hard. Lots of us are nursing, have little kids, are pregnant, demanding kids, hard time fasting......I'm not talking specifically about these thread, just responding to this one. You do it, it's hard and it will be over soon. If you feel you really can't, ask a shaila, the end.

amother

Wed, Sep 28 2022, 2:21 pm

amother Heather wrote:

Of course we do it even if it’s hard. Not the point of the thread. I was asking about having husbands stay home. If I’m sick and nauseous etc ch’v I won’t be able to take care of my two year old. Full stop.

amother

Heather

Wed, Sep 28 2022, 2:33 pm

amother OP wrote:

If you feel you have it unreasonably hard, ask a shaila. There are no tricks anyone else has.