Waterpark hotels on chol hamoed/winter break

amother

Wed, Sep 28 2022, 9:54 pm

I see a number of frum families sharing group rates at places like Great Wolf Lodge, Kalahari, etc. My kids are begging to go to one of these things. I assumed that since all these frum families are doing it by groups there's something more frum-friendly but the people I asked said there's no separate boys and girls hours or anything. It's not rented out, it's just people buying in groups while there are still people there not in groups. Can someone who has been to one of these things please educate me? Is it an appropriate place for a frum family? I don't know what to do. The rates we were offered are actually very good and the kids would love to go and otherwise it's really hard to find suitable things to do with them...

amother

Red

Wed, Sep 28 2022, 9:56 pm

We've been to Great Wolf Lodge many times and are probably going this chol hamoed as well. It's not rented out, there are always many frum families there. Everyone has different stringencies when it comes to those things. It's a regular mixed waterpark. The frum people and arabs are dressed modestly (for some reason, there were always many arab's there when we were there), and the non jews are dressed in regular swimsuits. I wouldn't take boys order than 4-5. My older kids are all girls. DH doesn't come to the waterpark with us.

amother

Wed, Sep 28 2022, 10:57 pm

Do you think it sends the girls a mixed message to take them to a place where many people are not tznius even if DH isn't with you? I'm assuming most families are there with both boys and girls so I wonder if it's confusing to go to such a place even if I'm only going with girls.

I've taken them to regular waterparks in the summer without this issue because it's almost 100% not frum people there anyway. It's us in our long cover-ups and a whole lot of people who are nothing like us. But I'm not sure about going to a place that's a "frum" scene but not really kosher.

mizle10

Wed, Sep 28 2022, 11:05 pm

amother OP wrote:

I don't understand, do you think the other jews won't be in cover ups like you?

The issue is being around all that untzniusness, why is it different than a summer waterpark?

amother

Red

Wed, Sep 28 2022, 11:09 pm

amother OP wrote:

How is a waterpark with mostly non jews more tzenuis or kosher than a waterpark where there are jews???
I don't think it sends girls a mixed message because I don't think there's anything wrong with girls going. The onus is on the boys, not on the girls.
You should do what you're comfortable doing, not what others do. Everyone does different when it comes to those things.

amother

Wed, Sep 28 2022, 11:11 pm

I don't know if it's different because I have never been to one of these events, that's why I'm asking here. I don't know, and I don't want to end up in a highly uncomfortable position because I don't know. But I also don't want to deprive my family of a great experience if there's nothing to worry about.

My issue is not other Jews in cover-ups, my issue is hanging around with other families with the men and women mixing together and all in the same place as others too. When I go to a summer waterpark we do not see a single frum family bringing their men and boys into the place with all the bathing suits out. And now suddenly their friends' fathers who send their kids to frum schools are suddenly ok with a mixed swimming setup? I don't know, maybe it's all fine and good, but as one who has never been to this kind of place I just don't know what to expect.

amother

Red

Wed, Sep 28 2022, 11:14 pm

amother OP wrote:

If you're uncomfortable with it, then don't do it! It's not a must. It doesn't seem like it's for you.
If you don't want your kids to see frum men in bathing suits, then don't bring them to a waterpark where there might be other frum families.
(Many hold that a waterpark is not considered mixed swimming.)

amother

Acacia

Wed, Sep 28 2022, 11:15 pm

mizle10 wrote:

I don't understand, do you think the other jews won't be in cover ups like you?

The issue is being around all that untzniusness, why is it different than a summer waterpark?

There’s a big spectrum among Jews also in how ppl cover. There are definitely religious Jews with girls in bathing suits or bikinis.

Personally I grew up very open minded (have family friends from all walks of life, open discourse, at this point have siblings with different levels and everything is all good) but my parents wouldnt take us to a crowded water park boys or girls. It’s just a place of Pritzus.

amother

Wed, Sep 28 2022, 11:19 pm

Can you please unpack for me how a waterpark is not considered mixed swimming? There are definitely pools there. And hanging around in bathing suits.

This is not about my girls seeing frum men in bathing suits and I think if that's what you're reading into my posts then you have some kind of agenda I'm not interested in.

And to say that if I'm uncomfortable then I should just skip is not really answering either, it's something that my kids really want so I am trying to at least unpack my discomfort and see how real and valid it is. If I hear from people who have been to these places and it seems that my discomfort is just paranoid and it's a fine place to bring your family, then I would feel a lot better about being dragged into it.

amother

Red

Wed, Sep 28 2022, 11:43 pm

amother OP wrote:

Just because I think that it's fine to bring MY family there, it does NOT mean that it's fine to bring YOUR family there. Everyone has different standards. What's fine for our family, may not be fine for yours. You shouldn't do things just because others do it. I do understand your discomfort and dilemma about frum families going, which is why I'm telling you that it doesn't seem like it's for your family. You don't need to take your kids places just because they want to go. It's OK to tell them that it's not something you feel comfortable doing. Kids should know that different families have different standards and what's ok for some is not ok for others.
Maybe ask your Rav about mixed swimming, we asked ours.

amother

Mon, Oct 24 2022, 10:50 pm

Follow up:
We went to the water park. It was really pretty OK. We went together with a couple of other families and the kids from those families hung out with each other. There were a lot of girls and women wearing swim dresses so even though some of our friends weren't, my girls didn't feel out of place. There wasn't a lot of mixing around in the waterpark itself because everyone's just running into and out of different rides. I didn't really see frum men around the waterpark, I guess they bring their families and then chill in their room or something? There were a number of young men which made me a little uncomfortable but because they were keeping to themselves it didn't make me very uncomfortable.

Tznius wise I think it was very tame because it was weekdays on Sukkos. On Pesach the non-Jewish schools have off so I would expect to see a lot more people in general and more people in bathing suits.

I still have my qualms about the whole thing but at least now I kind of understand what people mean when they say "a waterpark is not the same as mixed swimming." And now that I've been there I see that parents also need to be wary of what's going on around the hotel, probably more so than in the waterpark, if your kids are not the type who are going to stay chilling with each other in your own suite...

So for the future it's not my favorite vacation but at least I know more what to expect.