My Neighbour keeps on sending her daughter over.

amother

Oldlace

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 8:16 am

amother NeonOrange wrote:

I have no issue with her bringing her daughter to play. But you also need to know how to say not today, not now or only for a short time.

My 5 year old loves going to my neighbor. We try to keep it to when they are playing outside, but not always. I always tell the mother to feel free to say no and take hints when she doesn't say yes right away.

She also has a few friends on the shy side. They don't like going to other people's houses, but love playing with friends. I'll walk the block or 2 with my daughter and ask if it's a good time. I've gotten sure and I've gotten no, and I've gotten it's a busy day--how about staying for 40 min. I respect all answers. And even when it's a "sure", I try not to leave her more than an hour and a half at a time.

Why don’t you text the mother first you are putting people on the spot when you just show up.

amother

Firethorn

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 8:42 am

I live in a neighborhood where the kids are in and out of each other’s houses all day. No mothers are ‘sending’, the kids are just all running around together. I’ve had groups of little girls breezing through my house at the most inconvenient times, like during dinner or bedtime or a half hour before candle lighting. Many times they bring snacks along and eat it as they roam. It drives me crazy, and I have learned to either say it’s not a good time, come back later, or today we are only playing in the yard. Otherwise I would have these kids running my household.

amother

DarkViolet

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 9:09 am

amother Firethorn wrote:

But these are older kids, no? Not 3 year olds who need help putting on their shoes or going to the bathroom, and who can’t be sent home alone when you’ve had enough.

amother

NeonOrange

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 9:23 am

Quote:

Why don’t you text the mother first you are putting people on the spot when you just show up.

The neighbor I don't. Both our kids are in each other's houses all the time. We're both honest with each other when is and isn't a good time.

With other friends I do-- during the week. But can't text on shabbos. That's when we do most of our playing with friends.

amother

Gardenia

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 2:57 pm

amother Firethorn wrote:

This is so nice! I wish I lived in sucha neighborhood, my kids are so bored alone

amother

Mocha

Sat, Oct 01 2022, 5:16 pm

tweety1 wrote:

I have a neighbor that does this when she needs a babysitter. I have a few phone numbers for various reasons; she'll call every single number. If I don't pick up she'll send the kid to knock on my door putting me at a spot. Dh is trying to teach me how to politely decline because I feel bad saying no. Some people are just now the brightest bulb in the pack. She's not a bad person. I think she just doesn't get it.

I don't think this is about not being too smart. This is already bordering on harassment that she calls every number. And to send her kid to your door after that is just not okay.

Poor kid though. Moms like that are awful to grow up with.