Extra-curricular activities

miami85

Sun, Oct 02 2022, 5:38 pm

We are a "working-poor" family--mean we generally live within our means though we often have a credit card balance every month. We don't splurge on much except for yom tov needs.

When it comes to extra curricular activities my husband and I don't exactly see eye-to-eye.

I feel like they need it for their overall development
My husband feels like we're biting off more than we can chew.

How to strike a balance?

miami85

Sun, Oct 02 2022, 5:46 pm

SG18 wrote:

Find free or low priced options? Do those exist in your area?
If you really have no budget, I would do playdates.

I'm talking about real skill building for strength or enhancing a natural ability.

amother

Blush

Sun, Oct 02 2022, 5:52 pm

I didn't grow up with extra curriculars and never felt a lack. It's not something on my radar. I don't do them for my kids, they have so many structured hours in school, I don't feel the need to add

amother

Cognac

Sun, Oct 02 2022, 5:53 pm

Anything they can learn on youtube?

I signed my son up for Bassline Pro keyboard lessons which at 12.95 a week. If he’s actually doing the lessons I consider that affordable.

If the child wants it I agree it’s good for development.

Also good is if you or dh can help them develop a skill. I see fathers and children playing sports and I think that’s even better than extracurricular.

miami85

Sun, Oct 02 2022, 10:42 pm

amother Cognac wrote:

The issue is that they watch youtube at home all day but nothing productive. I have one kid with really weak core so I think he needs a professional to help him get stronger.

miami85

Sun, Oct 02 2022, 10:47 pm

SG18 wrote:

Find free or low priced options? Do those exist in your area?
If you really have no budget, I would do playdates.

Obviously this isn't about free options--because otherwise I would do that.

The question is if a child has a need for a certain skill--either due to predilection or deficit, to what extent do we trust that Hashem will help us "fulfill that need"?

Some kids are good with being self-taught, some kids are not.

amother

Aquamarine

Sun, Oct 02 2022, 10:53 pm

amother Blush wrote:

I didn't grow up with extra curriculars and never felt a lack. It's not something on my radar. I don't do them for my kids, they have so many structured hours in school, I don't feel the need to add

I could have written this. No intention to put my kids in any. There’s so little time in the evenings and Sunday I feel is for family time. Not to mention who can afford it?

amother

Orchid

Sun, Oct 02 2022, 11:03 pm

I wish my parents had sent me to music lessons when I was younger. I could really have used the outlet and the boost of self esteem. They didn't take of seriously until I was like 16. It was nice, but a bit late in the game to get too far with it. And they didn't not send me because of lack of money. There was money, they just didn't consider it important enough to bother.

amother

Oatmeal

Sun, Oct 02 2022, 11:39 pm

You should read Emily Oster book The Family Firm. She goes through all the different aspects of running a family and the cost benefits of it all. Then leave it to the reader to decide if it's worth it.

It's not just about the added expenses of an extracurricular, but also it's long term value to the child, the time and effort necessary to make it happen.

It is possible that for one child it's critical and for another unstructured time would be of more value.

It's a great read, and might help you either build a case to your husband or think differently altogether.

miami85

Mon, Oct 03 2022, 12:00 am

amother Oatmeal wrote:

That's the thing, I think that this certain extra-curricular activity has a lot of potential benefit to our whole family and curtailing certain negative behaviors/character traits from developing, but my husband is only looking at the financial piece.

amother

SandyBrown

Mon, Oct 03 2022, 12:03 am

I think they are super important for so many reasons. It's one of the things we splurge on even though it's difficult. But it's more important to me than other things. It helps them develop who they are, it builds character, it builds healthy self esteem, it gives them something to look forward to and keep them happy during school, it gives them healthy outlets. I have been doing it for years and I have not regretted any of it for a second.