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Forum
-> Parenting our children
Do you bring your kids into the bathroom when you're using it?
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| Of course - gotta keep 'em safe |
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5% |
[ 9 ] |
| Sure - if they'll be crying otherwise |
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10% |
[ 18 ] |
| Sometimes - I don't really have a policy |
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31% |
[ 56 ] |
| No - except for real emergencies |
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53% |
[ 97 ] |
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| Total Votes : 180 |
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amother
OP
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 Thu, Oct 06 2022, 1:42 am
What's your take?
(As the poll author I feel like I should be neutral, but I do have a strong opinion! So for the record, my take is NO. And over the years there have been blessedly few "emergencies," usually involving rest areas and no other adults with me.)
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amother
Dandelion
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Thu, Oct 06 2022, 1:43 am
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Depends on the age of the kid
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17
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rising hero
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Thu, Oct 06 2022, 1:51 am
How about never. Period.
I know its a thing people do but I just can't understand it.
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lucky14
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Thu, Oct 06 2022, 1:58 am
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I didn’t see the original post. What age kids? And when are we talking about- like at home or our shopping/an outing and you are the only adult with them? (Is that what is considered an emergency?)
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amother
Foxglove
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Thu, Oct 06 2022, 2:01 am
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My toddlers regularly follow me in. I drape my skirt to cover myself though. When I’m on my period though or doing bedikos my husband makes sure to keep them out.
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rising hero
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Thu, Oct 06 2022, 2:01 am
| lucky14 wrote: | | I didn’t see the original post. What age kids? And when are we talking about- like at home or our shopping/an outing and you are the only adult with them? (Is that what is considered an emergency?) |
https://www.imamother.com/foru.....rt=20
Starts mid page 2
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amother
NeonOrange
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Thu, Oct 06 2022, 2:02 am
I would have marked "sometimes" but I do have a policy on it so I didn't vote.
If at home - nope! I need thirty seconds for me and the kids can just deal (and learn that Imas can have thirty seconds to themselves).
If outside in a public bathroom, then it depends their age. If they are still in the stroller, I'll use the handicap stall and take the stroller in with me. If they are older, but still too little to stay outside the bathroom, I bring them into the women's room but not the stall - they stand by the door with their backs against the door so I can see their shoes the whole time.
If it's a private bathroom situation (think like a one person store or office bathroom) and the kids are too little to stay out of the bathroom (thankfully didn't happen often), I might bring them in with me with instructions to turn around or play with their toys or whatever while I used the bathroom. Think that only happen a few times over the years, thankfully. If they were a bit older, I'd have them talk to me from outside the bathroom to make sure they hadn't wandered off.
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amother
Ebony
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Thu, Oct 06 2022, 2:03 am
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My kids are big now, but I don't remember doing that. If they were immobile babies I left them either in the crib or on the floor( if noone else was around) and when they were toddlers I let them scrape at the door while I was doing my business. I've always been very quick in the bathroom, so that may have something to do with it. I don't really remember what I did in public bathrooms, I try to avoid them so probably did not happen too often. I guess I may have taken them in and made them turn around. If I was out with more than two children, I was probably with my DH, so he would watch them.
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amother
Bottlebrush
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Thu, Oct 06 2022, 2:09 am
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I have 9 kids bah including 2 with ADHD. I have never, ever taken a kid into the bathroom with me with one exception only (and that was when flying with a baby and using the bathroom in the airport. Even then, I went to the disabled and faced the stroller away from me.) I can't imagine what circumstance justifies regularly taking a child into the bathroom and even more, when they would notice what was going on.
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amother
Marigold
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Thu, Oct 06 2022, 5:36 am
Really depends on the age. A newborn in a baby chair? for sure.
A talking walking toddler? Unlikely
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amother
Mocha
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Thu, Oct 06 2022, 5:45 am
When I'm the only adult home (or awake) I leave the bathroom door open, if my toddler is awake as well. She's usually in the other room, but I need her to know she can come to me if anything happens.
When I'm out alone, I absolutely bring her into a public bathroom with me. I wouldn't leave her outside alone.
I don't bring non-mobile babies into the bathroom with me. If I know baby is safe in his seat, I can go to the bathroom without worrying about him.
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taketwo
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Thu, Oct 06 2022, 9:25 am
| shev143 wrote: | | Can you link these studies that show a child is traumatized from seeing parent naked |
Answering here from the other thread-
In all honesty, I haven't actually seen them, my non-jewish therapist told me about it years ago, back when my oldest was little. Since then, a few professionals have backed up that view.
Apparently one of the reasons behind it is they feel overwhelmed with all the difference between their own little bodies and what they're seeing.
Separately; I have also heard regarding safety/personal privacy, the best way to give your children appropriate boundaries with their bodies is to model it. That too makes perfect sense. If they see you prance around naked they lose sensitivity about how to keep our bodies private and only for ourselves. In that same talk she said the first thing after their baths or dressing them is to make sure they have underwear on. If you're not modeling that you're having a double standard.
You can rattle on and on about how noone should be seeing their bodies and have a million safety talks with them, but if they don't have the built in sensitivity, all you're doing is giving them a boat load of anxiety. Build that sensitivity by showing how sacred your own privates are - they're not for all to see.
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amother
Geranium
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Thu, Oct 06 2022, 10:08 am
The only time I've ever let my kids be in the bathroom is public bathrooms and I make them turn away as well as keeping myself covered with my skirt. And I try avoid it if I can. I don't think my kids have ever seen me uncovered even when I did this.
I don't understand why you would allow it at home. It's the only place I can go with a few minutes peace. I'm trying to teach my kids about privacy, so why would I contradict myself?
If it's a baby, I would make sure they're in a safe place before I go, and an older child, can be okay for a couple of minutes. I also personally don't think it's unhealthy for a child to cry for a minute while you go to the bathroom.
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amother
Alyssum
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Thu, Oct 06 2022, 10:19 am
At home, no. I used to let. These days it’s a boundary I won’t let any kid break. I don’t even let them talk to me through the bathroom door unless it’s a real emergency (like blood or fire).
I’m not in the bathroom long enough for them not to be able to wait.
When we’re out and about it depends on the situation but I really try not to. The one time I took my 2 year old in to the stall with me he opened the door just as I was finishing up. Talk about embarrassment.
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amother
Camellia
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Thu, Oct 06 2022, 10:26 am
At home, never. Any age kids.
When I'm out in public, I bring my kids into the stall still at age 8-10. They face the door. Too many crazies out there.
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amother
Camellia
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Thu, Oct 06 2022, 10:29 am
| rising hero wrote: | https://www.imamother.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=486032&start=20
Starts mid page 2 |
Oh, that's disgusting.
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bcb
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Thu, Oct 06 2022, 11:11 am
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I have a baby and a 3 yrs old. If I want my baby to stay alive I have to take 1 of them w me.
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amother
Seagreen
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Thu, Oct 06 2022, 11:16 am
At home, no.
Emergency would be if you have a toddler and a newborn and if left alone the toddler will hurt the baby. Otherwise on a regular basis I don't feel comfortable with it. I also don't think there is something wrong with it, just not something I like to do.
Now my question is in public bathrooms. I don't think it's safe to leave my kid waiting outside the bathroom by the stalls in public (like in dept store or mall or airport. ) But I can't take my big kid in with me. Till 2-3 fine. But what about a 5, 7,8 year old? I'm always torn on this.
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amother
Camellia
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Thu, Oct 06 2022, 11:19 am
| amother Seagreen wrote: | At home, no.
Emergency would be if you have a toddler and a newborn and if left alone the toddler will hurt the baby. Otherwise on a regular basis I don't feel comfortable with it. I also don't think there is something wrong with it, just not something I like to do.
Now my question is in public bathrooms. I don't think it's safe to leave my kid waiting outside the bathroom by the stalls in public (like in dept store or mall or airport. ) But I can't take my big kid in with me. Till 2-3 fine. But what about a 5, 7,8 year old? I'm always torn on this. |
I take them in with me and have them face the door.
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amother
Seagreen
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Thu, Oct 06 2022, 11:20 am
I do that too. But doesn't it look funny to people watching that your walking in with big kid into stall. Especially if it's a boy?
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