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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Preschoolers
chabadnick
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Thu, Feb 10 2005, 5:09 pm
My 3 year old is really acting up. Firstly he is very I mean very destructive..He just broke the CD player! I cant understand how he does it! Secondly, he is always tired and lieing down. He sleeps 12 hours and his teacher told me he is always rolling around on the floor. He does not listen and is completly difficult when leaving home, my mothers or anywhere. We are stressed out!
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ForeverYoung
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Thu, Feb 10 2005, 5:54 pm
does he get enough iron? do you give him multi vitamins? is he exposed to lead?
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BasHashem
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Thu, Feb 10 2005, 8:49 pm
Most 3 year old need to be busy, if you dont give them something to do then they will find something to do.
You must set up some kind of cause and action, he causes and you take action, (nothing big, remember he is a baby and learning) no threats, no hits not yelling. direct action that he is fully aware of.
I would look into the tired part, maybe like fy said iron, vitamins. He mght still need naptime.
I would be more than happy to give your more suggestions. let me know.
BasHashem
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mommy2
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Thu, Feb 10 2005, 8:58 pm
He might also need 13 hours of sleep at nt. Another issue, is it cold where you live? Maybe its the weather. My 3 yr old son was acting up today, its also part of this age.
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chabadnick
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Sat, Feb 12 2005, 8:26 pm
I guess I am looking for tips in positive discipline>? I want to be a loving mother and a good one too!
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amother
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Sun, Feb 13 2005, 12:06 am
There is a parenting approach called Love and Logic - Do a google to find the books.
The approach is basically parenting with Love, yet teaching your child responsibility at the same time as showing him that you are on his side, and there to help him - so that he can learn the consequenses (sp?) of his actions, for the future as well, and also grow up knowing that when he has a problem he can turn to you - you demonstrate that you love him and will help him find a solution, yet you dont let him get away with his behaviour - quick example:
Kid breaks cd player - MOM: I'm so sad that you need to go to your room. Accompany kid to room and if necessary close door.
When kid is calm - MOM: (always talking calmly) It seems like you have a problem - what are you going to do about the cd player KID: I dunno - u can buy a new one (or whatever response) MOM: yeah, but I didnt break the cd player, what do you think you can do? KID: variety of responses - I dunno -- or buy a new one--or I dont have money etc... MOM: Would you like me to give you examples of what other kids have done to pay for things when they dont have money? KID - yes MOM: can help out around the house, or can give back a toy of yours for a few weeks until 'paid up' etc. KID: chooses a way to pay for CD.
Point being that a)the mom teaches the kids responsiblity of his actions,b) the mom has remained calm throughout and helped the kid come to a resolutions so she remains on his side (his 'friend') and hopefully as the kid grows up he will know that his mother is there to help him resolve issues (not just to make everything right- but to actually deal with it in a responsible way).
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ForeverYoung
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Sun, Feb 13 2005, 12:15 am
there are a few parenting dicussions here -
look for them in all age groups
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Pearl
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Wed, Mar 02 2005, 6:21 am
I for one very much appreciate the example given by amother (however, why she felt the need to post as amother????), about the child "paying" for what he broke. I think that's a great approach, never ones in the almost 8 yrs I am a mother did I think of that!
will google the title of that book!
chabadnick, it's such a difficult age, they can drive us crazy, and that's probably because THEY become crazy from all the changes in their small world (physically and otherwise).
re his tiredness, I would definately have that check out medically, just to be on the safe side.
good luck!! and I am sure you are a very loving and caring mother! don't forget that we can't be perfect mothers...
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hisorerus
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Wed, Mar 02 2005, 9:13 am
Amother is embarrassed to quote Love & Logic because many parents who do it are almost like a cult, and she's also afraid we'll all know who she is...
But I like Love & Logic too.
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Pearl
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Wed, Mar 02 2005, 9:16 am
adding to my curiosity!!! will google it now!
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nomi
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Mon, Mar 07 2005, 9:15 am
In addition to everything that's been posted here, we've had success with our just turned 4 yr. old with giving him extra attention. He used to annoy more, and destroy more. We would play into this by taking him to his room etc. until we realized that he's trying to get our goat. That's what it was all about. So now we conciously try to spend a few minuteswith him, doing a puzzle, lego etc, and he is much happier and calmer and gets along better with siblings. It also helps to talk about it with him in advance, so he knows he's going to have "special time" and looks forward to it.
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timeout
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Wed, Mar 23 2005, 10:43 am
Did anyone whear of the book 1-2-3 Magic (dicipline) without yelling or hitting.
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timeout
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Wed, Mar 23 2005, 10:52 am
1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12
by Thomas W. Phelan
I just saw it on Amazon
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Milk Munch
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Sat, Oct 01 2005, 9:57 pm
Chabadnik,
I just heard a proffesional speak about sleeping issues. He said that many children who are "diagnosed" with ADD and ADHD really have sleeping sleep disorders. They don't sleep well at night, they are overtired during the day, so they act up. If your son sleeps 12 a night and spends his days rolling on the floor, it sounds like he could be having a sleep issue. I urge you to consult a sleep center near you and have him checked out.
And by the way, even if you ask your pediatrition about this, they may not know much because it is not a widely known thing. You must consult with a sleep specialist.
Hatzlocho.....
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AweSumThenSum
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Sun, Oct 02 2005, 6:35 pm
your son may have mononucleosis (mono). it's a simple blood test to determine whether or not this is the case. good luck.
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