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Forum -> Pregnancy & Childbirth -> Baby Names
Do I have to name after someone?



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justforfun87




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 23 2022, 6:32 pm
For every baby, do I have to name after someone? I have 1 child I named after my bubby. My zeide passed and my father passed away. My only sibling named after my father's first name and we also don't like his middle name but due to our small sized family, no one will be naming after my zeide. I loved him dearly but even as a second name, we really don't like the name. His name was Yissachar Bunem.. we don't have a family of strong traditions so I feel very bad about this whole thing. The hormones aren't helping.
Help.
We have a name we really love but it's after no one.
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life is fun




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 23 2022, 6:42 pm
It's certainly a nice thing to do to name after someone, if its your minhag you might want to do it, otherwise choose a name you like.

Naming a child with a name one doesn't like can impact the relationship with the child. I know of at least 2 cases like this.
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zoom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 23 2022, 6:43 pm
No, you do not have to name after someone.

You can ask a rov to get guidance but Im pretty sure its not a have to.

I know soo many people who named just because they liked the name.
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amother
Dodgerblue


 

Post Sun, Oct 23 2022, 7:05 pm
If you use the name Yissachar, Sochi and Tzachi are both really cute nicknames.
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amother
Jean


 

Post Sun, Oct 23 2022, 7:17 pm
We had our first a few months ago, gave her two names and neither one is a name in the family Smile
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amother
Lightyellow


 

Post Sun, Oct 23 2022, 7:18 pm
justforfun87 wrote:
For every baby, do I have to name after someone? I have 1 child I named after my bubby. My zeide passed and my father passed away. My only sibling named after my father's first name and we also don't like his middle name but due to our small sized family, no one will be naming after my zeide. I loved him dearly but even as a second name, we really don't like the name. His name was Yissachar Bunem.. we don't have a family of strong traditions so I feel very bad about this whole thing. The hormones aren't helping.
Help.
We have a name we really love but it's after no one.


Absolutely do not have to name after anyone.
Im right wing yeshivish. Our yeshivish Rav told us after we aked him, that its ok, name a name you really love, so we did. And we absolutely loved doing so.
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Ema of 5




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 23 2022, 7:34 pm
As everyone else said, there is no halacha that you MUST name after a relative.
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 23 2022, 8:21 pm
Bshaa tova.
No, you have the ruach hakodesh. Just make sure it's a name your baby can live with.
But speak to a rav/rebbetzin for eitzos to reassure you.
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amother
Zinnia


 

Post Sun, Oct 23 2022, 9:25 pm
I recommend to name after your zeidy ( at least 1 name) & add a name you like. In the long term it brings connection & feeling of belonging to what was, it's an incredible gift to your child.

When you name a newborn you're just thinking of what name you'd like, but when the child grows older & you talk to him about your parents & grandparents he didn't get to meet etc it's a great connection to carry over a name.
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amother
Topaz


 

Post Sun, Oct 23 2022, 10:17 pm
No. We asked a rabbi and were told we do not. We did use family names as middle names because I really like the idea of naming after a relative but all the first names are just names we liked. But you don’t have to at all. I’m really sentimental so I would choose to name after the zeidy in your case but that’s just me. Yissachar as a middle name wouldn’t be a problem in my opinion though….
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miami85




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 23 2022, 10:27 pm
I had a baby born around Purim and while I had a relative with the name Esther, it was an "obscure" relative and I really had one closer that I wanted to name after but didn't love her name, so I took a related name to hers and made it her middle name.

It's actually a bigger inyan to name from the parsha than a relative even if it's parshas Ki Sisa and you use the name Ahuva
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erm




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 23 2022, 10:27 pm
My sons ask me to tell them about the grandfathers they are named after. They feel a strong connection to them. There is something special about remembering people we loved and lost. That being said, there is no halacha to name after family members.
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amother
Canary


 

Post Sun, Oct 23 2022, 10:30 pm
You don't have to.
But it's such a beautiful thing for a child to grow up with a connection to someone he's named after. And from what I've heard, it's also a zechus for the grandparent being named after.
Why wouldn't you want to name your child for your father?
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justforfun87




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 26 2022, 7:07 pm
It's the night before the bris and I'm sitting here hormonal and still unsure. I asked the mohel and he said never feel obligated. Then I asked the Rav of our shul (why did you do that my husband asked) and he said while we really don't have to name after someone it is a huge zchus for them. We are settled on the first name. The issue is that my husband really doesn't like yissachar or bunem for the middle name. I know I could cry and convince him.. we have a middle name we both liked but I have this awful nagging feeling that I will be erasing my zeides memory forever by not using either his first or second. Please help this hormonal mommy.
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amother
Mustard


 

Post Wed, Oct 26 2022, 7:25 pm
justforfun87 wrote:
It's the night before the bris and I'm sitting here hormonal and still unsure. I asked the mohel and he said never feel obligated. Then I asked the Rav of our shul (why did you do that my husband asked) and he said while we really don't have to name after someone it is a huge zchus for them. We are settled on the first name. The issue is that my husband really doesn't like yissachar or bunem for the middle name. I know I could cry and convince him.. we have a middle name we both liked but I have this awful nagging feeling that I will be erasing my zeides memory forever by not using either his first or second. Please help this hormonal mommy.

We have a son named after two of our grandfathers. They had the same first name, but different middle names. We were told not to give all three, and we can either do just the first name, or we can name after one person fully. We chose to go just with the first name, and he doesn’t have a middle name. Rather than feeling like we erased someone, I feel like he is super privileged to be named after two wonderful people. He knows about both of our grandfathers, who were both wonderful people.
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BetsyTacy




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 26 2022, 7:31 pm
I will say since you asked that it is special for your son to have that connection to the past. I will grant you that Bunem is a name which might be difficult in certain circles (honestly mine) although many people have "difficult " yiddish type middle names. Yissachar is one of the shvatim and by definition is a classic and no one would bat an eyelash at this middle name in Hebrew.

I am not an English name person but there is no need to have an English middle name at all of if you don't want to have Yissachar on the birth certificate.

It's a hard spot to be in right before the bris. Have you explained your feelings about your grandfather to your husband?
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 26 2022, 8:43 pm
I gave non-family names. Parents were mad but they had their chance with me and my sibling who also have non-family names. One of my kids has a VERY family name… story for another time.

I say go with the name you love.
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amother
Acacia


 

Post Wed, Oct 26 2022, 8:48 pm
my daughter was named on my grandmother's yahrtzeit. we weren't planning on naming after her. husband didn't like the name. asked a rabbi and he said fine to go with our original name which was after a different grandmother. the thing is it is special for my kids that they are named after people. we did one name we like and one family name for each child but all the family names were names we liked as well.


I looked it up and it seems bunim is yiddish for binyomin, would that work for you?
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