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Is this normal?



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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Nov 10 2022, 4:53 pm
We just moved BH to a new city last week. We are living with my parents because the house we bought needs some work. We wanted to buy here for years and it was not happening for various reasons ( one of them it’s one of the most expensive Jewish communities to live in) but all my family is here and it’s perfect for us in other ways. We know we got so lucky as the housing market is awful now that we actually found something ( it’s not my dream house by FAR but I couldn’t be choosy. Also we are 40, not our first house).
So I know I should be so happy and excited but I find myself all over the place emotionally. One minute feeling high, the next extremely low almost depressed. Everything is unfamiliar I don’t know anyone ( besides my family), it feels like I’m the new kid in school but I’m 40 years old. I don’t know if I made the right decision as I don’t feel if I’ll ever be at home here. People are like didn’t you daven to be able to move here why aren’t you happy ??If anyone can relate, are these emotions typical and how can I overcome them?
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amother
Smokey


 

Post Thu, Nov 10 2022, 4:56 pm
Please give yourself the gift of TIME. Wait a month for and see how you feel. And then wait for 3 months and check in again. Then at 6 months. Then at 1 year. BE"H by then you will settle in and feel at peace with your decision.
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Thu, Nov 10 2022, 5:02 pm
Great advice.

Normal.

Just let yourself be. Ride the rollercoaster.

It can be a big adjustment.
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Not_in_my_town




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 10 2022, 5:10 pm
I think you've got two things creating a jumble of emotions in you:

1. You just made a massive move and didn't get the perfect house
2. You're 40! You mentioned that twice... It's the perfect time for a midlife crisis.

As the other posters said: time. You're normal. It's okay.

It's easy to be emotionally steady when things are going along swimmingly, but you just had a literal upheaval.
You're okay. And you will be okay. Time.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Nov 10 2022, 5:25 pm
Not_in_my_town wrote:
I think you've got two things creating a jumble of emotions in you:

1. You just made a massive move and didn't get the perfect house
2. You're 40! You mentioned that twice... It's the perfect time for a midlife crisis.

As the other posters said: time. You're normal. It's okay.

It's easy to be emotionally steady when things are going along swimmingly, but you just had a literal upheaval.
You're okay. And you will be okay. Time.

I’m ruminating on the fact that it wasn’t the house I was dreaming of but people are telling me unless you have an enormous budget or living in osh kosh Kansas you will have to settle on some things. I’m wondering if I got my dream house id be much more excited? But I’m the type that always sees what’s wrong…..you’re right about the mid life thing for sure though.
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amother
Leaf


 

Post Thu, Nov 10 2022, 5:27 pm
Totally normal. Buying a house is a major upheaval, as is moving to a different town. You just did both. Stop second-guessing yourself. Have faith that you did the right thing and go on from there. כל ההתחלות קשות.
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