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Forum -> Inquiries & Offers -> Lakewood, Toms River & Jackson related Inquiries
Is a school that accepts everyone the answer?
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Nov 24 2022, 10:08 pm
Lakewood Scoop letter, families have to fit into the box of the schools.lakewood schools should have more diversity.wondering what other lakewooders think.

I grew up in Brooklyn in the large community school. We had diversity. But I think it is very much a generation thing too. Coming as much from the parents and families as it is from the school.
There was the boro park class and the Flatbush class. the out-of-town class that had kids from other boroughs. Immigrat class, The fancy class and the yeshivish class. In the younger grades it was the mothers that fought over the classes and in the older grade it was the students. They even brought In the guidance counselor to help the students get along. Some classes stayed small because they had a bad name and other classes were overcrowded.

My thought is a more diverse school will never work unless as a whole parent and students change. And realize that people wearing different types of hats ,shirts and professions are all realy the same. But are we?
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amother
Gray


 

Post Thu, Nov 24 2022, 10:15 pm
In theory I like (hashkafically) mix schools. But my dd is in a mixed school right now, & honestly there are issues. She's singing secular songs & using foul language, things she never heard outside of school. When families have different standards it's bound to happen & if it involves something you consider very important you're stuck.
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amother
Eggplant


 

Post Thu, Nov 24 2022, 10:29 pm
R' Chaim Kanievsky said he went to a school with a mixed crowd and it was good enough for him and for the Brisker Rav's kids. Turning kids away because they aren't the right type is gaiva.
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amother
Clear


 

Post Thu, Nov 24 2022, 10:36 pm
No.

https://www.imamother.com/foru.....91568
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amother
Tulip


 

Post Thu, Nov 24 2022, 10:51 pm
I probably went to the same school as you in Brooklyn. I was in the bad class, we had 20 girls while the other 7 parallel classes had 30-35. Every class was a type and they really didn’t mix. My kids in a Lakewood school have more types within their class, and they get along well and don’t have any of the issues I had with friends. The system is working for me here and personally I don’t want it to change. I just think we need to make sure there are enough spots throughout the schools for the amount of kids that age.
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amother
Charcoal


 

Post Thu, Nov 24 2022, 11:00 pm
I thought bais yaakov ocean county accepts everyone
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amother
Tulip


 

Post Thu, Nov 24 2022, 11:05 pm
amother Charcoal wrote:
I thought bais yaakov ocean county accepts everyone


They don’t exist anymore
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amother
Steel


 

Post Thu, Nov 24 2022, 11:09 pm
amother Gray wrote:
In theory I like (hashkafically) mix schools. But my dd is in a mixed school right now, & honestly there are issues. She's singing secular songs & using foul language, things she never heard outside of school. When families have different standards it's bound to happen & if it involves something you consider very important you're stuck.

I have the same issue. Put my daughter into a school that has a good name in Lakewood and is very difficult to get into. It's 2 month and I don't recognize my chid. Her language and body language has completely changed for the worse. A child on the bus is going behind ppl and is pretending to squeeze their behind (they call it a butt)and showed my daughter that it's juicy one Surprised
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amother
Steel


 

Post Thu, Nov 24 2022, 11:15 pm
amother Steel wrote:
I have the same issue. Put my daughter into a school that has a good name in Lakewood and is very difficult to get into. It's 2 month and I don't recognize my chid. Her language and body language has completely changed for the worse. A child on the bus is going behind ppl and is pretending to squeeze their behind (they call it a butt)and showed my daughter that it's juicy one Surprised

I have a feeling that many fine girls from Bp are not doing good in their new school because the schools they truly belong in refused to take them in.
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amother
Cantaloupe


 

Post Thu, Nov 24 2022, 11:15 pm
amother Clear wrote:
No.

https://www.imamother.com/foru.....91568

Ok. Connection?
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amother
Stoneblue


 

Post Thu, Nov 24 2022, 11:20 pm
It never works. Every time a school opens that accepts everyone it falls apart. Think Ateres tzipora, Bais yaakov western Monmouth county, bnos Rivka, Bais yaakov ocean county. The more modern dysfunctional girls end up going and influencing everyone else. The regular good girls pull out and then the school falls apart.
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amother
Salmon


 

Post Thu, Nov 24 2022, 11:22 pm
I would like to say yes. For some reason it seems to work very well in my OOT community.
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amother
DarkRed


 

Post Thu, Nov 24 2022, 11:22 pm
amother Clear wrote:
No.

https://www.imamother.com/foru.....91568


Thank you for publicly embarrassing me and hurting my feelings.

My family helped found many of the schools in Lakewood. And has gotten many children into said schools.

Think before you speak. I am mochel you but I do want you to know I feel very hurt

All the Torah learned in the frummest school is worth nothing if a person doesn’t know the rules of embarrassing hurting or shaming others
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amother
Charcoal


 

Post Thu, Nov 24 2022, 11:23 pm
amother Stoneblue wrote:
It never works. Every time a school opens that accepts everyone it falls apart. Think Ateres tzipora, Bais yaakov western Monmouth county, bnos Rivka, Bais yaakov ocean county. The more modern dysfunctional girls end up going and influencing everyone else. The regular good girls pull out and then the school falls apart.
Yes I was going to ask why byoc closed down. Of. Course it’s because no one wants to send there. Everyone wants to be exclusive even though no one wants to be excluded.
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amother
Floralwhite


 

Post Thu, Nov 24 2022, 11:51 pm
amother Salmon wrote:
I would like to say yes. For some reason it seems to work very well in my OOT community.


How many schools does your OOT community have?
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amother
Tulip


 

Post Thu, Nov 24 2022, 11:52 pm
amother Salmon wrote:
I would like to say yes. For some reason it seems to work very well in my OOT community.


I don't know my friends who live in various oot communities don't agree. While it's not an option not to have mixed schools they do speak about the negatives and I think it's false to pretend it's all rainbows and unicorns because it has it's issues.
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amother
Peachpuff


 

Post Fri, Nov 25 2022, 12:49 am
I went to a school like that and only gained, and I’m a big proponent of the positive. However, and this is major, times are very very different now. I think it’s not so simple anymore, even OOT.
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amother
Copper


 

Post Fri, Nov 25 2022, 1:25 am
amother Tulip wrote:
They don’t exist anymore

It still exists, just with new owners and a new name
Ohr devorah
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amother
Tulip


 

Post Fri, Nov 25 2022, 1:48 am
amother Copper wrote:
It still exists, just with new owners and a new name
Ohr devorah


It’s more complicated than that…but still it’s not them so they don’t exist anymore. It’s also in a different place and some girls left so it’s even smaller.
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amother
Lightyellow


 

Post Fri, Nov 25 2022, 1:57 am
You’re asking in the Lakewood forum, which automatically means that no one will agree with you.

I’m so grateful I grew up OOT. People love to point to all the people who aren’t as frum as they are, and why this is the problem, and they don’t point out all the children that became more frum than their families as a result of diversity. Like me.
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