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Is a school that accepts everyone the answer?
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amother
Clear


 

Post Fri, Nov 25 2022, 10:32 am
amother Arcticblue wrote:
Here’s my hot take:
The problem is boards. I grew up in Passaic, I went to YKP, they accepted everyone. It was a great school, diverse and it really worked. Rabbi Heshy Hirth was in charge. He didn’t really care much what other people had to say. The school had their hadhkafah and that was it. There was a school uniform. If girls were singing secular songs often a teacher would ask them to stop. Obviously the teachers couldn’t see everything but they were present enough that nothing got truly out of hand. It was a wonderful, solid, Torah-dik school without having absurd rules about the specific length of the mother’s sheitel.
With a board, there are way too many “cooks in the kitchen”, the politics is insane, there’s no cohesive vision for the school.

Many if not most schools in Lakewood are “one man shows”.
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amother
Melon


 

Post Fri, Nov 25 2022, 10:40 am
amother Clear wrote:
Many if not most schools in Lakewood are “one man shows”.


Both my kids schools do not have boards and are “impossible “ to get into
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amother
Begonia


 

Post Fri, Nov 25 2022, 12:57 pm
My boys are in Darchei in Far Rockaway and it is a school that accepts everyone bh but I don't think it could work in such a huge place like Lakewood.
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Bnei Berak 10




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Nov 26 2022, 8:49 am
amother Opal wrote:
Quote:
I went to a school like that and only gained, and I’m a big proponent of the positive. However, and this is major, times are very very different now. I think it’s not so simple anymore, even OOT.

I grew up OOT and loved it and I'm raising my kids OOT and it's not so simple.
When I went to a community school growing up the differences between my family and other families was much more glaring and easier for me to understand as a kid. ie - the mother doesn't cover her hair, the girls wear pants...
Now my son is in a class with a kid where the father learned in yeshiva for many years, the parents dress "the part", but the family has no problem going to a mixed water park on vacation. Try explaining that to an 8 year old kid.

You got my sympathy. Flower
Chinuch is very difficult if this generation.
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amother
Cinnamon


 

Post Sat, Nov 26 2022, 9:00 am
keym wrote:
This. Exactly.
I don't see it as being particularly practical because Lakewood is so so huge.
Arranging a public school district type system just means there will end up being "more yeshivish" "not yeshivish" "more money" "less money" districts.
And people will absolutely choose where to buy or live based on the neighborhood schools.
I grew up in a large OOT city with a huge public school district and 100% people choose where they live based on the district school.


It works in Israel which is more charedi and yerushalayim for example is much bigger. What does tend to hapen is there is an "avreichim" class and a working parent class, sometimes when you have very low income area next to a normal area (shmuel hanavi in yerushalim) that element is isolated.
But it works in the sense that everyone has a school and usually people choose to live with people like themselves anyways

The issue in Israel is when it comes to high school, but again it is much more under control in recent years. It used to be that sephardi good girls had a hard time getting into schools, but in recent years many very good sephardi seminarim(HS) opened up. and the regular ones also relaxed when it comes to this.

The girls who have the hardest time are the ones who don't exactly fit in the BY box, but there are options for them. In LKWD you have girls who totally fit the box who get rejected for academics until a few weeks before school when the Vaad pushes them in. That does not happen here
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Bnei Berak 10




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Nov 26 2022, 9:15 am
amother Clear wrote:
+1000. People don’t realize the difference between now and the 1990s when they grew up. My sister in law lives in one of the dense areas in Lakewood. A good chunk of her 7th graders class lives in the neighborhood. One mother is more permissive and allowed her son access to her smartphone. By the time the mothers realized it, every boy in the neighborhood from that class had been shown p0rn on several occasions. One boy told his parents which is how it blew up. My sister in law was devastated. Normal mainstream (maybe slightly balebatish) Cheder.

Your example shows that it only takes *one* parent who allows *one* unfiltered smartphone to *one* kid and the whole neighborhood kids have been exposed. Now you go and try to "undo" the damage, trying to explain to your kid while trying to make sure your kid won't be exposed in the future to some other kind of filth or danger.

The boy who told his parents deserves much praise. Flower
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Bnei Berak 10




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Nov 26 2022, 9:45 am
amother Cinnamon wrote:
It works in Israel which is more charedi and yerushalayim for example is much bigger. What does tend to hapen is there is an "avreichim" class and a working parent class, sometimes when you have very low income area next to a normal area (shmuel hanavi in yerushalim) that element is isolated.
But it works in the sense that everyone has a school and usually people choose to live with people like themselves anyways

The issue in Israel is when it comes to high school, but again it is much more under control in recent years. It used to be that sephardi good girls had a hard time getting into schools, but in recent years many very good sephardi seminarim(HS) opened up. and the regular ones also relaxed when it comes to this.

The girls who have the hardest time are the ones who don't exactly fit in the BY box, but there are options for them. In LKWD you have girls who totally fit the box who get rejected for academics until a few weeks before school when the Vaad pushes them in. That does not happen here

It's still a problem for sfardi girls to get into ashkenazi seminarim. I think in Jerusalem situation is better than in bnei brak.
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amother
Arcticblue


 

Post Sat, Nov 26 2022, 3:12 pm
amother Melon wrote:
Both my kids schools do not have boards and are “impossible “ to get into

Right, I didn’t mean that one man show schools are easier to get into. But responding to the argument that schools that accept everyone simply do not work, I think they can work. But it works better if it’s a one man show, and a community school.
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amother
Floralwhite


 

Post Sat, Nov 26 2022, 8:38 pm
amother Cinnamon wrote:
In LKWD you have girls who totally fit the box who get rejected for academics until a few weeks before school when the Vaad pushes them in. That does not happen here


Girls in Lakewood do not get rejected because of academics
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naturalmom5




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Nov 26 2022, 9:29 pm
amother Nemesia wrote:
How "Diverse" could BB have been in those days?

Also, diversity then and now are worlds apart.

Now it means different internet standards, exposure to all types of marriages etc.

Then it meant wearing a different colour shirt?

Or father working?


Actually it meant , some kids were from S Shabbos homes, some werent..
Thousands of non frum families havd frum grandchildren because of that
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amother
Steel


 

Post Sun, Nov 27 2022, 5:07 am
naturalmom5 wrote:
Actually it meant , some kids were from S Shabbos homes, some werent..
Thousands of non frum families havd frum grandchildren because of that

in those days parents able to make demands of their
children and they also were not so sensetive to their childrens feelings so maybe it wasn't such a problem to mingle with diff types.
Today kids (teens)need to fit in perfectly and it's not acceptable to make your children behave or dress in a certain way. Therefore it's more important to chose a school with likeminded families.
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amother
Nasturtium


 

Post Sun, Nov 27 2022, 5:12 am
amother Floralwhite wrote:
Girls in Lakewood do not get rejected because of academics


No it’s because they’re not from the right family. Or they don’t dress right or talk right or myriad other things that make very little sense. And then the vaad forces schools to take a certain number of the rejected girls anyway. So it’s all a game playing with the lives and emotions of our girls.
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amother
Nemesia


 

Post Sun, Nov 27 2022, 5:20 am
Bnei Berak 10 wrote:
It's still a problem for sfardi girls to get into ashkenazi seminarim. I think in Jerusalem situation is better than in bnei brak.


Just curious, why would a Sephardi girl want to go to a ashkenazi instition?

Is it because sephardi schools have lower standards?

(My mother went to a mixed seminary in Israel and she had a nice experience.)

Why are sephardi girls always fighting to get away from where they come from?
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amother
Tanzanite


 

Post Sun, Nov 27 2022, 5:20 am
oooops wrong thread so deleted
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amother
Nemesia


 

Post Sun, Nov 27 2022, 5:21 am
naturalmom5 wrote:
Actually it meant , some kids were from S Shabbos homes, some werent..
Thousands of non frum families havd frum grandchildren because of that


Fine, but not shomer shabbos doesn't mean the family is full of shmutz etc.

A non shomer shabbas family then is gold to some semi frum families now.

The world is a different place.
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amother
Tanzanite


 

Post Sun, Nov 27 2022, 5:22 am
deleted - wrong thread
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Bnei Berak 10




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 27 2022, 5:28 am
amother Nemesia wrote:
Just curious, why would a Sephardi girl want to go to a ashkenazi instition?

Is it because sephardi schools have lower standards?

(My mother went to a mixed seminary in Israel and she had a nice experience.)

Why are sephardi girls always fighting to get away from where they come from?

I didn't go to seminar in israel so I can't tell. But it's a loaded topic and I don't have the knowledge.
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amother
Cinnamon


 

Post Sun, Nov 27 2022, 5:53 am
amother Floralwhite wrote:
Girls in Lakewood do not get rejected because of academics


I just hosted some really sweet frum, seminary girls from lkwd for shabbos. One of them shared that she didn't get in anywhere until a week after school started despite doing everything the Vaad asked because she has severe learning difficulties and was passing by the skin of her teeth thru 8th grade.

In the end she got pushed into a school that is one of the more acedemic places in LKWD (obviously less of a match then the places she applied to) and struggled thru HS with hours of tutoring....
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Bnei Berak 10




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 27 2022, 6:19 am
naturalmom5 wrote:
Actually it meant , some kids were from S Shabbos homes, some werent..
Thousands of non frum families havd frum grandchildren because of that

I doubt that there were kids from not shomer Shabbos mixed with genuinely chareidi strict families. Maybe less strict but for sure Shomer Shabbos.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 27 2022, 8:49 am
amother Floralwhite wrote:
Girls in Lakewood do not get rejected because of academics

Uh, my DD's principal straight out told me of two high schools that are looking for an influx of academically strong girls, that I could get her into if I wanted.
(this was a few years ago, she's out of high school already).
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