Teachers Gift | Imamother

amother

Hosta

Fri, Nov 25 2022, 11:21 am

Quote:

Having a very hard time snooping their childrens school we approached doesn't want to do it as what will be next year... or after this stops they will feel they are on scholarship and don't have to pay tuition... so we are at a dead end anyone have any ideas?

I will repeat it again. Find out who their rav is. Call back the principal and explain that you'd like to give them a large sum of money anonymously, where do they daven or who can help you out here. Not sure why they wouldn't supply you with this information.
And if you're so hesitant to take these kinds of steps, then I'm assuming you don't actually want this to be anonymous

amother

Fri, Nov 25 2022, 11:23 am

amother Jade wrote:

I am a teacher. I’m going anonymous, so I will be very open and tell you that I am a very well regarded and super devoted teacher, and put in many, many hours behind the scenes to help my students. I struggle mightily financially.
I once got a call from a local Rav who told me he had a large check ($3,000) from a grateful parent parent who wanted to remain anonymous. Initially I thought that maybe it was tzedakah and the Rabbi told me it came from a parent to be kind. But it came with a typed note thanking me for specific things that I do, so I’m 99%sure it was prob from a parent.
OP, maybe you can do something similar? Like give a generous donation with your name attached as you usually would, and send the rest anonymously, but with a thank you?

thanks for the insight
As I posted earlier we have no idea who their Rov is as husband Davens in BMG

amother

Fri, Nov 25 2022, 11:24 am

amother Cognac wrote:

I don't assume that grocery money won't be appreciated.

according to what I was told people on welfare their groceries are covered by Snap benefits...

amother

Cognac

Fri, Nov 25 2022, 11:31 am

amother OP wrote:

according to what I was told people on welfare their groceries are covered by Snap benefits...

I'm getting an interesting feeling here. A lot of excuses.

Target gift cards are useful for diapers and detergent and toilet paper. The average decent Lakewood family can use 300-500 a month in target.

Consider several gift cards. That you give over the year.
$2000 to a Shaitel place. 2000 Target, $2000 to a hosiery store (even if they are getting hand me downs, they still need tights). $2000 to shoe stores.

If you mailed a $6000 check to their school and asked them to apply it to the tuition for the "Friedman family" I would be surprised if the school won't do it. You can mail a note to the teacher "in honor of all you do, $6000 of your tuition to Bnos xyz was covered".

amother

Jade

Fri, Nov 25 2022, 11:33 am

amother OP wrote:

thanks for the insight
As I posted earlier we have no idea who their Rov is as husband Davens in BMG

To clarify- It was not my Rav, it was someone local who I guess they knew.

amother

Fri, Nov 25 2022, 11:34 am

amother Cognac wrote:

Thanks for the idea will look into it maybe School will agree if we send such a letter anonymously.
any idea which sheitel place teacher very Yeshivish anyone know who they use normally?

amother

Milk

Fri, Nov 25 2022, 11:35 am

Lakewood isn't that big. I'm sure your Rov, the one who told you this is where your money should go, can find a way to get the money to her anonymously. I'm getting the feeling this is not the answer you're looking for.

Another option is to give $500 for chanuka, $500 for purim, $250 every rosh chodesh, $100 for shabbos. It adds up and won't be a suspicious large amount.

When there's a will, there's a way, do you have the will to donate anonymously or less extravagantly? Or do you want to be a known hero coming in with a crazy amount...

amother

Trillium

Sat, Nov 26 2022, 2:24 pm

amother OP wrote:

thanks for the insight
As I posted earlier we have no idea who their Rov is as husband Davens in BMG

Can you ask your Rav to be the Shaliach?
If you really want to hand it to the teacher give an Amazon gift card and $1000 cash. When you hand it to her she won't know if there's $50 or $10,000 on the gift card. Assuming the teacher has access she can buy pampers, toiletries, kids clothing, and plenty of other necessities.

amother

Sun, Nov 27 2022, 10:46 am

amother Milk wrote:

is that not flaunting giving a few hundred dollars every few weeks...

amother

Alyssum

Sun, Nov 27 2022, 12:56 pm

amother OP wrote:

is that not flaunting giving a few hundred dollars every few weeks...

I'm not understanding what you mean by flaunting? When Hashem gives someone money it's wonderful to be able to share it with the people who need it most and there are definitely very wealthy families in this town that give a significant gift every rosh chodosh to teachers or rebbes.

The only difference is that they probably didn't post it on Imamother so that everyone knows that they're going to be giving it Very Happy

If someone's giving $1,000 a month plus another thousand a few times a year they end up giving $15,000 but it doesn't look like a big check and it's not in your face as much.

Just give the teachers money and be done with it.

amother

Sun, Nov 27 2022, 12:58 pm

amother Alyssum wrote:

thanks for the encouragement if everyone feels it is ok to do it this way will do (want to hear more responses to make sure teacher doesn't feel inappropriate)
or maybe do a mix of this and giving gift cards for sheitel and target or walmart or any other suggestions so I like this if give 2000 and 1000 money and 1000 gift card won't look like I am giving that much

amother

DarkViolet

Tue, Nov 29 2022, 7:10 pm

amother OP wrote:

who is the best salon that Yeshivish people use to buy the best sheitel? and how much is the best sheitel for yeshivish people

However much you spend on your shaitels is the same amount a yehsivesh person spends. Not sure the correlation.

amother

Tue, Nov 29 2022, 7:28 pm

amother DarkViolet wrote:

However much you spend on your shaitels is the same amount a yehsivesh person spends. Not sure the correlation.

so what is the best salon that yeshivish people use?
and do they pay like 6k for a sheitel?

amother

DarkViolet

Tue, Nov 29 2022, 7:32 pm

amother OP wrote:

so what is the best salon that yeshivish people use?
and do they pay like 6k for a sheitel?

There are a bunch. Gitty friedman is very popular. Rivky Manies, Miri Porgess..

amother

Arcticblue

Tue, Nov 29 2022, 8:03 pm

I think the Shaitel idea is a bit off.

Most people would prefer the cash- she can use it for dental work, or therapy or a shaitel by someone she knows and trusts.

amother

Chartreuse

Tue, Nov 29 2022, 8:07 pm

I think you are thinking about it waaaay too much. Give what you can in a check and you can give it multiple times throughout the year. And most teachers I know are financially struggling and would appreciate any additional money.

amother

Wed, Nov 30 2022, 5:15 pm

amother Arcticblue wrote:

I think the Shaitel idea is a bit off.

Most people would prefer the cash- she can use it for dental work, or therapy or a shaitel by someone she knows and trusts.

If that is the way people feel won't do sheitel don't want to be inappropriate what do you think the maximum I can do with each check that wouldn't be considered inappropriate as this last comment posted that I can go all out there and some people are saying $200 can people chime in want a vote so that I can see what most people think and reasoning and will base it off that thanks everyone for all your help and input