Exchange gift from kid?

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Forum -> Relationships -> Giving Gifts

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amother

Mon, Nov 28 2022, 7:43 am

My really sweet teen son gave me a sefer as a gift for my birthday. I love him, the thought and the gift. It may not be the kind of sefer I'd choose to read, but ok, I didn't choose it. The thing is, he spent an extra $10 at least for the larger version, when it comes pocket size. I'm assuming either he didn't know or wanted the bigger one. But I don't like reading from huge books- it's bigger than an average size hard cover. I prefer pocket size. I'm unsure if I should exchange for the smaller version. I don't think it would hurt his feelings, but I'm not positive. Wwyd?
Oh, I'd give him the change ;-)
Or on the other hand, return the book and get something I'd really like??
Or just keep it and probably not look at it much, but he'll be happy he got a nice gift for his mom?

amother

Kiwi

Mon, Nov 28 2022, 7:46 am

Do not exhange!

amother

DarkCyan

Mon, Nov 28 2022, 7:49 am

That's so sweet of him!
I wouldn't exchange, I would keep it as is. Let him feel that he made the right choice. It's so considerate of him to get the larger print for more money, thinking that you would like it. I would thank him and let it warm my heart every time I see it, even if practically you won't use it so much.

I remember after my wedding I bought my mom a linen set. When I went to my mom's house I loved when I saw it on the beds. It wasn't the nicest or latest linen, it was the nicest I was able to afford. I was happy to see her enjoying it....

iyar

Mon, Nov 28 2022, 7:51 am

Another vote for don’t exchange it!

Kiwi13

Mon, Nov 28 2022, 7:56 am

OMG he put thought and money into a gift for his mom!!! I remember buying my mom a gift as a teen. It was a necklace I thought she would like. It cost only about $20 and most of her jewelry cost much much much more, but that's what I had. If she would have exchanged it, I'd have been DEVASTATED!!!!!

OP, this isn't about the book. It's about your relationship with your son.

amother

Opal

Mon, Nov 28 2022, 7:58 am

NO! Op NO!

Your last choice is the ONLY option!!!

amother

Antiquewhite

Mon, Nov 28 2022, 8:01 am

I would keep it and read at least some of it. It's such a small thing to do and a great investment in your relationship. Did you ever practice kriah with your son? It's no fun reading random syllables. Even if this sefer is not something you're into, it couldn't possibly be more boring than kriah.

Unless the sefer is actually problematic in some way, against your beliefs, etc.

amother

Offwhite

Mon, Nov 28 2022, 8:36 am

Of course don't exchange it!
My young brothers once bought for my mom earrings at a street vendor. Huge ugly earrings. But she wore them, because her son's got them for her. They were so so proud of their gift. They felt like a million bucks when my mom wore them.

cnc

Mon, Nov 28 2022, 8:38 am

Keep them

amother

Mon, Nov 28 2022, 9:01 am

I hear you all loud and clear! :-D
Thanks!!

As an aside, it was funny because I was with him in the store and he was checking out without me and needed an extra couple dollars that I loaned him :-D

amother

Lightgreen

Mon, Nov 28 2022, 10:13 am

amother OP wrote:

DO NOT RETURN IT!!! I can’t stress this enough! If he feels you didn’t appreciate what he chose, or that he made a bad choice, it will hurt him terribly!

Gush over the gift and tell him how much you love it and how thoughtful it was!

amother

Steel

Mon, Nov 28 2022, 2:27 pm

Absolutely do NOT exchange.

Read some bits and make a comment to him about what you read and liked.

What a thoughtful child.

And Iy”H he will continue this thoughtfulness in the future.

He needs to see the impact.

And he needs to feel your appreciativeness.

Much nachas.

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