Let's talk about proposals

amother

Mon, Nov 28 2022, 5:44 pm

How is it done these days in different circles?

Does the boy do the kneeling thing in all circles?

Is a big to do expected in all circles?

Is it common to have others attend the proposal?

Please comment and include your "type"/"circles"

What advice would you give to boys who are going to propose soon based on your experience?

amother

Khaki

Mon, Nov 28 2022, 6:10 pm

[quote="amother OP"]How is it done these days in different circles?

Does the boy do the kneeling thing in all circles? Very yeshivish may be less likely to go down on one knee but many people do. My husband did. I know his best friend didn’t, and my brother in law didn’t either

Is a big to do expected in all circles? Not necessarily. This is personality dependent.

Is it common to have others attend the proposal? Huh? This is supposed to be a private event. Others may come after the actual proposal to take pics but they don’t stand and watch as the guy asks the girl to marry him.

Please comment and include your "type"/"circles" OOT somewhat yeshivish

What advice would you give to boys who are going to propose soon based on your experience? I really appreciated that my husband thought through what he would say to me. He gave a very meaningful and thought out speech. Much more memorable than just “will you marry me?”.

imasinger

Mon, Nov 28 2022, 6:27 pm

Almost mazel tov to you, OP?

My advice would be to have the boy speak to his rebbe/mashgiach/posek, and maybe even the shadchan, as well as to his friends. Random imamothers may or may not be as on target for him.

A few tidbits, however.

There is a strong minhag to propose by water.

He should take her personality into account, as well as his own.

He shouldn't spend a fortune on something dramatic if one of them is the practical type, there's lots of cost effective ways to be romantic, if romance is desired.

Hatzlacha!

amother

Burlywood

Mon, Nov 28 2022, 7:17 pm

Litvish - in my circles the more yeshivish don’t do a fancy setup. My husband did and I loved it!! So romantic and sweet - I still smile when I think back to it! He didn’t get down on one knee but did tell me a few things he liked about me before asking me to marry him which I really appreciated (I’ve heard that this is the norm in my circles) his friend set up the proposal and waited in his car to take a picture when we called him but was not in view…