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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette
Splitting the cost of an apartment with roommates
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2022, 1:05 pm
Please tell me what you think of this scenario. Do you think this is fair? Tell me before I pass the info on to a friend who is looking for a roommate situation.

Two bedroom apartment with 2 full bathrooms, one of which is in the master bedroom.
The existing women is a young mother with full custody of her young child and they share the master bedroom.
The kitchen and living space is shared.
The incoming roommate would have to allow any guests to use her bathroom, never the master bathroom.
The living room is furnished.

The roommate who is there now has her name on the lease and will not add the new person. It's a two-year lease.

The rent is being split in half.

I feel that since the current women is there with her child, she should be paying 2/3 the rent and the new person should pay 1/3. Especially considering they'd be living with a little kid.

This is not in a city where there is a high demand at all for singles to rent rooms or look for roommates.

Thoughts?
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amother
Pumpkin


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2022, 1:08 pm
I think rent should be split evenly but utilities should be 2/3 and 1/3
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amother
Olive


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2022, 1:18 pm
I think it should be more of a 60/40.
As the master is presumably larger and has more privacy. The kid however doesn’t have its own room (then it would be 1/3 each)
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2022, 1:20 pm
amother Olive wrote:
I think it should be more of a 60/40.
As the master is presumably larger and has more privacy. The kid however doesn’t have its own room (then it would be 1/3 each)

I think just considering the bathroom the new roommate gets is not private is reason in and of itself to pay less.
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amother
Winterberry


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2022, 1:24 pm
I wouldn’t split rent evenly for two reasons.

First the master bedroom always commands a higher rent especially since the woman will have to use a bathroom that is used by strangers so she can never leave any stuff in there and also doesn’t know who is using her towels. Not to mention having to leave her room to use the bathroom.

There are also three people sharing the apartment and even a well behaved child is intrusive. If a couple were in the master bedroom they would have to pay more to be fair. The common area is probably going to be used by the child. It might be more cluttered than an adult apartment and there might be noise to deal with especially if the woman would like to sleep late on weekends or even make normal noise after the child’s bedtime.

Just reverse the situation and ask whether she wants to give up the master. I bet she wouldn’t want to even if she paid less and certainly not if she was paying 50%🤷‍♀️
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amother
Lilac


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2022, 1:27 pm
I think the lease holder can ask for whatever she wants, the new person can either agree, negotiate or move on. I don't think it's a right or wrong thing.
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amother
Eggplant


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2022, 1:31 pm
I would never agree to having her guests use my bathroom. Her guests use her bathroom, my guests use my bathroom. Remember her guests may very well include her child's friends her brother and SIL, sister and BIL, nieces, nephews and anyone else. NO WAY!!!
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amother
Eggplant


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2022, 1:35 pm
Also her conditions alone 50/50 plus bathroom rule should be RED FLAGS for your friend. She should look elsewhere. This woman doesn't sound fair or reasonable.
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amother
Winterberry


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2022, 1:37 pm
amother Lilac wrote:
I think the lease holder can ask for whatever she wants, the new person can either agree, negotiate or move on. I don't think it's a right or wrong thing.


Well of course they can. That really isn’t the point.

OP is attempting to get opinions in what would be viewed as fair in those circumstances by other people.

I actually think that the potential renter can be choosey because evidently housing isn’t hard to find and the pool of potential renters for the apartment especially without an en suite is limited. I don’t know the circumstances but many single women would probably prefer to live with just another woman and not with a child as their life styles would be more the same. It is more likely that another single woman wouid be more of a potential companion than a single mother. 💐🤷‍♀️ They might do things together as friends whereas the single mother wouldn’t be interested or available.
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2022, 1:38 pm
amother Lilac wrote:
I think the lease holder can ask for whatever she wants, the new person can either agree, negotiate or move on. I don't think it's a right or wrong thing.

The lease holder is technically not even this person, as she needed a co-signer, so the lease is in her mother's name and her name. The roommate is not on the lease, so in theory she can move if she wants... although the women wants a two year commitment.
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2022, 1:40 pm
amother Winterberry wrote:
Well of course they can. That really isn’t the point.

OP is attempting to get opinions in what would be viewed as fair in those circumstances by other people.

I actually think that the potential renter can be choosey because evidently housing isn’t hard to find and the pool of potential renters for the apartment especially without an en suite is limited. I don’t know the circumstances but many single women would probably prefer to live with just another woman and not with a child as their life styles would be more the same. It is more likely that another single woman wouid be more of a potential companion than a single mother. 💐🤷‍♀️ They might do things together as friends whereas the single mother wouldn’t be interested or available.

Not to mention my concern that there would be a lot of unofficial babysitting going on. Like mom is sleeping, child is up, roommate is up, kid needs help... is roommate supposed to wake up mom? Or help the kid? The child is little.
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amother
Clematis


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2022, 1:43 pm
amother OP wrote:
Not to mention my concern that there would be a lot of unofficial babysitting going on. Like mom is sleeping, child is up, roommate is up, kid needs help... is roommate supposed to wake up mom? Or help the kid? The child is little.


Well that is nuts.. Tell the child--go to your mommy.
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amother
Winterberry


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2022, 1:45 pm
amother OP wrote:
Not to mention my concern that there would be a lot of unofficial babysitting going on. Like mom is sleeping, child is up, roommate is up, kid needs help... is roommate supposed to wake up mom? Or help the kid? The child is little.


I think your concerns are very valid.

I am on a subreddit called AITA in which people ask the community to judge their actions and there are many situations in which a roommate is asked to do childcare.

I think the way the bathroom is handled is an immediate red flag 🚩🚩🚩because typically the bathroom is not used by the other person’s visitors.

Even if the bathroom is not theoretically used by other guests, how do you truly enforce that. It is hard to control people not using the bathroom especially children. Is your friend going to put an exterior lock on or stand guard and what about when she isn’t home 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️😂😂
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amother
Olive


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2022, 1:45 pm
Honestly, I would not be inclined to take this room. Does she have no other options?
The kid is a super non-selling point.
Where do the toys live? How quiet is the kid? What happens when mom is sleeping? Sick? Runs late?

The mom could be awesome to live with the the child super easy and adorable, but I would be leery about entering such a situation.
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amother
Sienna


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2022, 1:46 pm
That does not sound like a fair division. I think it's reasonable not to get the other roommate on the lease. The rent sounds off though.

Also, make sure your friend will not have to deal with requests for childcare. Like, she's there anyway, can she just listen out for her child. I would be nervous that these requests may come and she may feel put on the spot.
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amother
Winterberry


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2022, 1:48 pm
amother Clematis wrote:
Well that is nuts.. Tell the child--go to your mommy.


It is not always that easy. Most people wouldn’t do that to a child and what if the mother asks a favor. Again, most people want to be in good terms with a roommate so they go along
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amother
Sienna


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2022, 1:49 pm
Regarding bathrooms, I've split apartments where one person gets the bathroom. The other shared bathroom is automatically the guest bathroom for all guests. It's not reasonable to expect every guest to come into your bedroom to use the bathroom. But the rent should reflect not having a private bathroom.
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2022, 1:55 pm
amother Olive wrote:
Honestly, I would not be inclined to take this room. Does she have no other options?
The kid is a super non-selling point.
Where do the toys live? How quiet is the kid? What happens when mom is sleeping? Sick? Runs late?

The mom could be awesome to live with the the child super easy and adorable, but I would be leery about entering such a situation.

She will not find another living situation for this price in this town so she’s considering it.
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amother
Cerise


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2022, 2:05 pm
If she’s not on the lease then she doesn’t commit to any amount of time. Period.

I would negotiate that the second bathroom is her own. If the existing tenant has guests then they need to use the master bathroom.

If the existing tenant is unwilling to negotiate then she should run for the hills.
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amother
Sienna


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2022, 2:09 pm
amother OP wrote:
She will not find another living situation for this price in this town so she’s considering it.


The money saved is not worth her sanity. I would never agree to a situation like this and a two year commitment.
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