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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette
Splitting the cost of an apartment with roommates
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amother
Olive


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2022, 2:10 pm
I feel like it is pretty standard practice that guests use the hall bathroom. That is the only thing not bothering me.
(But she needs to assist with maintaining it if it is used by her/her child’s guests).
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amother
Ruby


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2022, 2:15 pm
amother OP wrote:
Not to mention my concern that there would be a lot of unofficial babysitting going on. Like mom is sleeping, child is up, roommate is up, kid needs help... is roommate supposed to wake up mom? Or help the kid? The child is little.


Who is the potential renter to you? It sounds like you think it’s a terrible idea.
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2022, 2:16 pm
amother Ruby wrote:
Who is the potential renter to you? It sounds like you think it’s a terrible idea.

Yes, I think its a really bad idea. The renter is a very close relative, I don't want to say more. I also know the current roommate.
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amother
Broom


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2022, 2:29 pm
amother OP wrote:
Yes, I think its a really bad idea. The renter is a very close relative, I don't want to say more. I also know the current roommate.

It sounds like your friend is moving out on her own for the first time and has no clue what it entails. Singles like to have friends over for dinner and chill time, she wont be able to do that if a child is sleeping in the bedroom. She will not be comfortable having the childs friends use the bathroom she is supposed to be using. She will not be comfortable having friends over on shabbos. Honestly, cheap is not always cheap if everything else is an inconvenience. And singles like convenience which is why most singles woudnt be ok with the situation. If there is nothing else available then she should try to at least get the rent for cheaper since it wont be convenient for her to have a child living there otherwise she might consider paying more for another place without this burden.
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amother
Winterberry


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2022, 2:31 pm
amother OP wrote:
Yes, I think its a really bad idea. The renter is a very close relative, I don't want to say more. I also know the current roommate.


If you know both parties, I suspect that there is additional backstory especially since you seem very concerned with childcare, so perhaps you have some knowledge of how she handles child care needs with friends and family.

It seems as if you have a lot of misgivings about this so just be honest with your friend as to your feelings although there is of course a potential minefield since you know the landlord but it seems as if your true allegiance should be to a close relative normally. 😂😂
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amother
Jasmine


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2022, 2:35 pm
amother OP wrote:
She will not find another living situation for this price in this town so she’s considering it.


If this is the case then it does not matter that it is 50/50 and would simply look at it as the amount for what you are getting as a stand alone and then decide. I also would not sign a two year lease however and would want a trial period to see how it is working out.
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amother
Jasmine


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2022, 2:38 pm
amother OP wrote:
Yes, I think its a really bad idea. The renter is a very close relative, I don't want to say more. I also know the current roommate.


if you think it is a bad idea then be honest and let your friend know

sometimes it is true that ya get what ya pay for
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amother
DarkGreen


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2022, 2:48 pm
I would also be wary of such a situation. To me the only selling point is a lower price than average. Is it urgent she needs to move now? I might consider waiting a bit longer and seeing if something else came up.
I personally am introverted and would probably rent a studio apartment, even if it cost me more, just so I had my own space and could come and go when I wanted.
It sounds like your friend wants to go for it. I would just say that to spell things out clearly and go in with your eyes open. And I would have a trial period to see if it works for me. I would certainly not lock myself into 2 years.
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Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2022, 2:56 pm
This definitely seems a bit unfair. I would think 60/40 makes more sense, assuming the second bedroom is smaller as well as not having an ensuite.

My worry would be that the first roommate is an unreasonable person in general.
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2022, 3:08 pm
amother Winterberry wrote:
If you know both parties, I suspect that there is additional backstory especially since you seem very concerned with childcare, so perhaps you have some knowledge of how she handles child care needs with friends and family.

It seems as if you have a lot of misgivings about this so just be honest with your friend as to your feelings although there is of course a potential minefield since you know the landlord but it seems as if your true allegiance should be to a close relative normally. 😂😂

You're right actually. I'll talk to her. Thank you. And then she can make her choice as she will anyway.
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amother
Aubergine


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2022, 3:12 pm
It's unrealistic to expect a roommate to lock themselves in for 2 years, especially a single one who presumably is hoping to get married. That requirement is a red flag that the original renter is going to be rigid and have unfair expectations of the roommate. For that alone, I wouldn't advise someone to go into this sort of situation.
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amother
Tanzanite


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2022, 3:13 pm
amother OP wrote:
I think just considering the bathroom the new roommate gets is not private is reason in and of itself to pay less.

No, I disagree. The master bedroom is not a reason to pay less or more.
But I think the guests should use their hostess' bathroom, not necessarily whichever bathroom is easier to access.

That would make it fair.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2022, 3:14 pm
It sounds like there's a young woman with a child who rents an apartment. She is looking to sublet one of the rooms, with shared space (living rooms, spare bathroom) to a single woman. Her asking price for this is half her rent. She also wants a 2-year commitment from the person moving in. She can ask for whatever she wants (as long as her lease allows subletting, which is sort of what she's doing.) She isn't obligated to give a room in her apartment to anyone for less than any price she wants to ask, really. It's her lease, and her space.

Should OP's friend go into this situation? Personally, I think there are areas she should negotiate. Biggest one is the 2-year commitment - I would aim for a trial period, and 1 year at a time after that.

She should also discuss maintenance arrangements, and it should be clear that cleanup for the woman/child is not her responsibility. She should feel confident about declining to take on childcare.
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amother
Tanzanite


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2022, 3:23 pm
amother OP wrote:
The lease holder is technically not even this person, as she needed a co-signer, so the lease is in her mother's name and her name. The roommate is not on the lease, so in theory she can move if she wants... although the women wants a two year commitment.

The current renter is the divorced mom with a kid? Add that to everything else you wrote, and I would definitely advise against a roommate entering this arrangement - unless the new roommate herself is a divorced mom with a kid, in which case it may be an arrangement that can work out well for both sides.

But a single woman? No, run. Too many red flags:
* divorced mom
* her own mom is co-signer
* won't put new person's name on contract but still wants a two-year commitment from her
* wants master bathroom and her own guests to use the other bathroom, but still wants a 50/50 split of rent and utilities
* she has a child who will inconvenience the other roommate, and isn't taking that into account (or doesn't seem to be, at any rate)

If your friend does go through with this, there needs to be a very clear contract that lays out all the conditions and agreements on childcare, maintenance, evenings/ weekends, guests, and so on.
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