Food boundaries? | Imamother

amother

SandyBrown

Fri, Dec 02 2022, 1:03 pm

BrisketBoss wrote:

Are you giving him more drink right after he spills? I wouldn't.

Are you giving him other opportunities for pouring/spilling play? Kids that age love this stuff.

Also warning little kids not to do something can be counterproductive. Often better to express faith but stay close. Or not allow the situation to begin--depending.

Also want to add that tiny kids don't need BIG drinks. Pour a couple inches into a cup. If he finishes it and is still thirsty he can get more.

Good Friend

Sat, Dec 03 2022, 8:39 pm

I know this isn't my thread, just replying to those who commented on the drinks- I only give him like 2-3 oz at a time. I know not to warn him because that will give him ideas. When I warned him about the Snapple it was an unusual situation because he had gotten it as a party favor and was excited to drink it and I was nervous to let him so I said ok but be very careful with it and give it to me to put away as soon as you had enough. I was watching him out of the corner of my eye but then the baby was crying in the other room...

He also always takes off his shoes, socks and yarmulka whenever we are at shul (we run the shul and live on top of it so we spend a lot of time there),

I guess some kids are just extra impulsive.

amother

Nasturtium

Sat, Dec 03 2022, 8:47 pm

I think the discussion here should be what is and is not age appropriate misbehavior.

And, if this area has turned into an issue is it possible that he might actually be hungry and for whatever reason has learned to take matters into his own hands?

My 4 year old hardly ever helps himself to food. 7-8 y old does take drink and basic comfort foods themselves. Snacks are stored in a harder to reach spot...

If a 3 y o gets up earlier than parents there needs to be a safe plan of who is supervising and what food drinks will be available to home/her... The kid is 3 for crying out loud. I think your expectations are unrealistic.

amother

Beige

Sat, Dec 03 2022, 9:06 pm

A poster compared to spilling drinks, but I don't think this is in the same category at all.

One is specially doing something which he knows is naughty behavior.

Taking food is more about lack of self-control. I can see myself having trouble not eating those muffins, why do we expect more from a three year old?

(Who were those muffins for anyway? If for you or another adult, that proves my point even more. He also wants to enjoy the pleasures in life. If you don't want him to have it now, you have to keep it out of his reach.)

amother

Sat, Dec 03 2022, 9:48 pm

The muffins were just an example. Just a couple of examples from today-
We were eating food and he wanted fish. So instead of asking, he went to the kitchen counter and put his hand in the liquidy salmon pan. DH caught him right before the whole pan hit the floor. He knew he could ask and get it. But he didn’t.
At another point, he went over to the challah that was on the tray on the side of the room and dug his hand into it to get a piece. Instead of taking a slice from the table.

BrisketBoss

Sat, Dec 03 2022, 9:53 pm

"He knew he could ask and get it."

So here's the thing. It doesn't actually matter what he knows. At that age, intellectual and emotional development--emotional being the one that includes decision making--run on parallel tracks. That's why it's so important to set him up for success.

amother

Sat, Dec 03 2022, 9:57 pm

So how do I do that? In general I very much to set things up for success. When I’m serving food, or there’s food on the counter, I can’t stop him from going into the kitchen. He would be very hurt. Our kitchen is right off our dining room and is pretty small.
While impulse problems at this age are normal, I think he takes it to an extra level. I don’t think I need to never have anything at all on any part of the counter. The muffins may have been tempting, but I don’t think I should ignore him doing this to everything. I should not need to hide every single thing and not live.

amother

Wandflower

Sat, Dec 03 2022, 10:46 pm

amother OP wrote:

This all appears pretty age appropriate to me. I do a combination of locking things up, tons of supervision & understanding ( not thrilled! )if he does get into something. It's not a misbehavior just a good teaching/ redirecting moment: "sweety, you want cake? I know cake is yummy! But when we want cake we say mommy please can I have, then mommy cuts a slice with a knife & we it it at the table.."

Kids like him usually benefit from lots of messy sensory activities.

amother

Tanzanite

Fri, Dec 09 2022, 11:34 am

Good Friend wrote:

Following.
My 3 year old is the same way, doesn't care what I say or do. His favorite activity which he does several times daily is spill liquids. He'll drink a little and pour the rest of his water on the floor. I'll make him clean it up which he happily does and then spills another drink. Recently he got a bottle of Snapple at a birthday party. I was watching him drink after warning him he better not spill it, but was called away to another child, and the next thing you know he had dumped it into a bucket of clics. So now all the clics are sticky... You get the picture. I can very much relate and am following for solutions!

when I gave my son a ton of ok spilling opportunities, the spilling of drinks petered out and stopped.
and make him wipe up messes on his own.

set him up at the sink with 2 cups and let him pour between them, or spill into sink

give a small cup of milk for him to pour into his cereal on his own

give him cups to pour in the bath

amother

Tanzanite

Fri, Dec 09 2022, 11:36 am

amother OP wrote:

looks like he wants to be independent.

as others have posted, set up an area where he can take food on his own, a safe place

and u dont need to hide every single thing, but make sure the most tempting foods arent out, like cake muffines cookies chocolate candies etc