When you come over to a bar mitzvah after meal - do u eat?

DrMom

Mon, Dec 05 2022, 12:38 am

Just to understand: You're hosting a bar mitzvah celebration, and people who are not invited for the meal are going to pop over after the meal is finished to wish you mazal tov, and you want to know if you should have some light food available in case they want a bite to eat?

amother

Leaf

Mon, Dec 05 2022, 5:20 am

It sounds like you are hosting a "dessert reception".

(To those questioning, this is very common in Lakewood as the seuda tends to be just aunts uncles and cousins of the bar mitzvah plus a few of their parents closest neighbors/friends - like one table worth. It is a kiddush for those who live too far to come on shobbos).

If you have specifically invited people to a dessert reception then it really should look similar idea to your shobbos kiddush, scaled up or down for number of people. I usually see a hot dish or two (sesame chicken, kugel) on the men's side even by people who don't do that for the shobbos kiddush. Often the desserts are on the Iadies side. You need to have enough for sit down guests plus drop ins, but yeah, I don't think adults eat that much. As you mention, the kids absolutely will take. You can ask the caterer for advice.

You can put mechitzos in front so people don't take until dessert.

If having a dessert reception was not in your plans, but a nice number of people you invited said they'll pop in and not to leave a meal or people who can't make your shobbos kiddush told you this, then you dont need to do anything, tell the caterer this may happen and to prepare a few extra desserts. If you like, you can have a snall sweet table with a cake to cut (lasts longer), a salad, and some fruit (either a fruit platter, minis, or cut up fruit in bowls). Scale up or down as you please.

amother

Wine

Mon, Dec 05 2022, 5:34 am

We put out a really nice dessert table but we did make a lot ourselves, cupcakes, cookies, tefillin cookies, and ice cream. We also made Tefillin chocolates more for decoration. Some fruit. Some nosh. The kids all went for the nosh and the adults enjoyed the fruits and cake. We also put out plenty of drinks.

amother

Leaf

Mon, Dec 05 2022, 5:36 am

amother OP wrote:

what should I buy?

miniatures - cost a fortune and kids [and some adults....]grab them off the table

a cake - maybe

I want to hear it from those who eat when they go out

thanks

Do you really want to know what people eat or what to put out to make a nice looking spread?