Visit daughter in seminary or vacation with rest of family?

PinkFridge

Tue, Dec 06 2022, 6:12 am

amother Orchid wrote:

I’ll offer something I haven’t seen here yet: Do nothing

You said you don’t have enough points to go with the whole family. Maybe save the credit card points so that one day you will. I spent a few years saving up points and now have enough for a very nice vacation with my whole family that will cover flights and hotel.

I think that a lesser family trip - and after all, the economy - is still a good idea.

amother

Jasmine

Tue, Dec 06 2022, 6:14 am

Just highlighting that Op wrote she herself would LOVE to go to E"Y to visit her daughter.
Op framed it as between what SHE would love to do and what her KIDS would love to do.
She didn't say she was going during her at home children's winter vacation.
Moms also get priority once in a lifetime Wink

Recharge rejuvenate and be the best mom for all your kids IY"H.
Make it a special fun staycation with maybe a local overnight somewhere driveable and inexpensive and special day trips for winter break. Thats what we often do. We don't always go away no matter what anyone else is doing. Daytrips we never otherwise get to do and we have a lot of fun. Without the major expense and without the extra work for the parents.
I would not frame it to my kids that it is either or....rather this is what makes sense for us to do at this time. Make it a teachable moment without bringing the other trip into it.
Later as a stand alone make your plans to go away when your kids are back in school.
Everyone does not always have to go away during winter break. No matter what "everyone" else is doing.
And then treat yourself to a solo vacay to E"Y.

Enough with the "mommy guilt" ....what is with all these mommy divisive threads lately...

PinkFridge

Tue, Dec 06 2022, 6:17 am

amother Candycane wrote:

Why not use the points to fly dd home for a visit?
Your dd gets to see family, the whole family gets to see her.
Win win for everyone.

The value of visiting her is to see her where she's been planted for this year.

Golde

Sun, Dec 11 2022, 1:43 am

Well, there seems to be two different camps here, each with valid arguments, and to find out which camp you should listen to, you really need to look at your family, your dd's needs, your other children's need, your needs and maybe your dh's opinion. What's the right decision will be very family specific.

From my personal experience, I don't recognize the argument of 18-20 being such a vulnerable age at all. I too went away for the year, had a great time, and while my parents did come to visit, I wished they hadn't. It meant I had to make time to be with my parents when I would much rather have enjoyed my new independence. I guess it's all a question of personality, and OP, only you know your dd and your other children.