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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
Ds's Chumash party is 3 days after my scheduled c section :(
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amother
Impatiens


 

Post Tue, Dec 06 2022, 7:26 am
Wow. I really think something is different with the younger generation. I am over 45 years of age. If our kids had a Chumash party and a parent could not make it, I assume we would try to send a Bubby/Zaidie/Aunt/cousins. It would not enter my mind to ask the Rebbi's '/School/Talmud Torah to switch a date. We didn't do things like that. A 5 year old child was traumatized because his parents didn't come to his Chumash Party?? Wow. Sorry, sounds a little far fetched for a 5 year old. Really different times. Not saying one is better than the other. But extremely different.
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amother
Papaya


 

Post Tue, Dec 06 2022, 8:01 am
With any event, there will always be someone that has a conflict and can't attend on that day/time. As the person with the conflict, it's hard, but the school can't change to accommodate everyone, as there will never be that perfect day or time.
I understand op that it's hard for you to envision missing the chumash party. It sounds like the school are willing to offer zoom as an alternative, which is nice of them.
I would just make other arrangements, and ensure there is someone to represent the family there instead.
If you bring your children up to understand that life happens, and it isn't always as we would like it, I think they will be understanding. As adults, things happen that we might not have wanted, and we don't get a choice.
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amother
Lavender


 

Post Tue, Dec 06 2022, 8:09 am
amother Bronze wrote:
I didn't read all replies.
A school most definitely has to accommodate a parent who can't attend. It's not fair to your child!
They don't need to know the reason. If you say there's no way you can make it that day then they have to reschedule. You're not the grandparent! You're a parent!


This seems extremely self centered.
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amother
Gladiolus


 

Post Tue, Dec 06 2022, 8:09 am
Send your husband or a grandparent instead. It happens. I couldn’t make one of my children’s plays and just made sure to send relatives. I explained it to the child that I wanted to come but couldn’t and bubby will be there instead.
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amother
Goldenrod


 

Post Tue, Dec 06 2022, 8:36 am
amother Bronze wrote:
I didn't read all replies.
A school most definitely has to accommodate a parent who can't attend. It's not fair to your child!
They don't need to know the reason. If you say there's no way you can make it that day then they have to reschedule. You're not the grandparent! You're a parent!


But they do. There are always people who would take advantage then. People would call to reschedule if it interferes with their trip to Florida, or similar. There's also all the other parents to consider who can have scheduling conflicts as well. In such situations, the schools need to prioritize and in order to do that properly, they need to have all the info.

I don't know about you. But when my family tries to coordinate an activity, it's a very difficult task. There's always some time that doesn't work for someone. So just think about the school trying to coordinate an event for a larger group of parents. I can't imagine that they'll find a time where it won't be difficult for someone.
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amother
Nemesia


 

Post Tue, Dec 06 2022, 8:43 am
I've never heard of a school that can accommodate all the parents all the time. BH it's a wonderful reason why you can't be there in person and if they can't change the date then you should definitely send dh and watch along on the video stream. If your parents or other close relative will be coming in because of the baby you can send them too and that will still be special. The child doesn't see you during most of the performance so if he has some special people there and knows you are watching on zoom, he'll know you are seeing it. It will be after the baby is born iyH so he'll know the reason. If someone went into labor spontaneously they can also miss these kinds of special events and those can't be scheduled around. I imagine it's common in most from schools that a mother is giving birth or just gave birth and misses a siddur or chumash event/play etc
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amother
Bronze


 

Post Tue, Dec 06 2022, 9:44 am
amother Lavender wrote:
This seems extremely self centered.
I don't appreciate your comment. It's mean. It's ok if you disagree but why be mean?

My school ALWAYS accommodated parents! Which is why I strongly feel this way.
When I taught, the school also changed the date 2 times to accommodate parents. They had 3 parallel classes!
The dates for my kids chumesh party was also not finalized before they heard back from the parents that they can make it.
You may think I am self centered but many schools do not think that! It's normal and even expected for a school to accommodate a parent.
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amother
Bronze


 

Post Tue, Dec 06 2022, 9:47 am
I want to add that my neighbor woke up feeling ill with fever on the day of her daughter's play. She couldn't go. The school redid the whole play a second time a week later so that my neighbor can attend and that her daughter should have her mother by her play!
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amother
Hibiscus


 

Post Tue, Dec 06 2022, 6:08 pm
Lucky you that you can work it out a whole month in advance. Imagine you'd be having your baby naturally. You can't control when you go into labor. That's life. I had a baby the day of a very close simcha which won't happen again (think a sibling's wedding, that sibling is never getting married again). It was disappointing to miss that simcha because of my simcha but gam zu l'tovah.
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hodeez




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 06 2022, 6:13 pm
amother Bronze wrote:
I want to add that my neighbor woke up feeling ill with fever on the day of her daughter's play. She couldn't go. The school redid the whole play a second time a week later so that my neighbor can attend and that her daughter should have her mother by her play!

Wow unheard of, that's amazing
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doodlesmom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 06 2022, 6:35 pm
amother Bronze wrote:
I want to add that my neighbor woke up feeling ill with fever on the day of her daughter's play. She couldn't go. The school redid the whole play a second time a week later so that my neighbor can attend and that her daughter should have her mother by her play!


I’ve once heard of a play where a child had the wrong timing and arrived late with his family.
The whole performance was repeated without the child being aware.
To not embarrass him
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amother
Oak


 

Post Tue, Dec 06 2022, 7:06 pm
amother Bronze wrote:
I want to add that my neighbor woke up feeling ill with fever on the day of her daughter's play. She couldn't go. The school redid the whole play a second time a week later so that my neighbor can attend and that her daughter should have her mother by her play!


This does sound beautiful, but I wonder if we are shielding kids from experiencing anything other than perfection. I mean, this is life.
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amother
Chocolate


 

Post Tue, Dec 06 2022, 7:13 pm
Actually now I’m remembering my dd made a play and a mother had a baby that week and they redid it a few weeks later for that mother.
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