Issues with toilet training

amother

Tue, Dec 20 2022, 6:23 pm

My almost 3 year old is trained for pee for a few weeks now. She's refusing to poop. She's on miralax so even though she's trying to clench it comes out eventually. But she sits on the toilet and cries through the whole process saying it hurts and I don't like it. It's not hard so I don't think it hurts, I think she just doesn't like the sensation. How do I help make it less traumatizing for her? She seems terrified of pooping.

BrisketBoss

Tue, Dec 20 2022, 6:30 pm

Unfortunately, one painful experience can stick in the mind for a while. Try to make it a relaxing experience. Don't even praise too much/enthusiastically, as this can be a kind of pressure.

Was the constipation toilet training related? Would she be more willing to poop in a diaper for now? Whatever helps...don't consider it a regression. Poop usually takes longer.

By the way, I'd personally be cautious with Miralax, I've read lots of reports from parents about negative effects.

amother

Tue, Dec 20 2022, 6:36 pm

The constipation happened first. It's one of the reasons I toilet trained her because she didn't like pooping in her diaper. But seems that the issue carried over to toilet training. I am against miralax and held off as long as possible, but we were almost at the point of having to go in for a clean out so I decided this was the best of the two evils. She's refusing to poop in a diaper too.

BrisketBoss

Tue, Dec 20 2022, 6:41 pm

Oh. Well, in that case, you should know that it is not recommended to start toilet training when a child is already constipated--but I think you've figured that out!

I would still try going back to diapers for poops if practical and revisiting the toilet later.

amother

Tue, Dec 20 2022, 6:46 pm

She’s not interested in diapers. We also didn’t do much training I put her in underwear and she had 2 accidents total both of which were because she had to wait for an available bathroom. She’s more anxious in a diaper than on the toilet, so that’s not going to work.

amother

Daphne

Tue, Dec 20 2022, 8:19 pm

Maybe try adding lots of fruit to the diet and fiber. Bran flakes for breakfast, an apple a day, grapes, prunes. It's hard with picky eaters. You can try pedialax which is like a suppository, so your child will go 20-40 minutes later. She will conquer her bathroom fears.

Frumme

Tue, Dec 20 2022, 8:24 pm

amother OP wrote:

Try having a potty seat available outside of the bathroom in case of emergencies like that (no bathroom available). It can help relieve some anxiety (no pressure to "hold it in" or wait). You can get the potty seat liners too to make clean up easier for you.

amother

Salmon

Wed, Dec 21 2022, 6:06 am

I agree with several of the responses - add fiber and liquids to her diet.
Additionally, the position of the body on the toilet is not optimal for passing a bowel movement. It may be in your best wishes to offer a potty so she can be in more of a squatting position.
And also - when she's on the toilet or potty, put on a video or read her a book. Even if videos are against your hashkafa, it may be necessary so she has good associations. There are wonderful options on Toveedo, PBS Kids (Daniel Tiger, Curious George, Eleanor Wonders Why, Mister Rogers Neighborhood), or you can buy DVDs like Preschool Power, or anything from Toveedo is usually available on DVD. Avoid Cocomelon!!! It can hook her in so intensely she'll forget what she's doing lol.