Is it rude to ask where clothes are from?

amother

Pink

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 5:48 pm

amother Amaryllis wrote:

. It’s nothing to be ashamed of

. For YOU. Because for you it's a choice, like Paris Hilton wearing shredded jeans and flipflops or Barbara Bush wearing fake pearls. Nobody thinks anything of it because they know that this is a rich person who has closets full of expensive duds to wear when she wants to. But as my mom told me when I was a teen: you're not rich enough to wear torn clothing.

It's a different story for a person who HAS to wear hand-me-downs. She would love to be able to buy new and is not likely to be bragging about where her clothes are from.

A friend of mine was poor in childhood and all her clothes were hand-me-downs from other families. I suppose she may have been made fun of, too. This was so painful to her that she will never, ever wear anything that once belonged to someone else. To her, better a new cotton bridal gown than a "worn once" silk.

amother

Lime

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 5:51 pm

amother Amaryllis wrote:

Agree! We are doing very well financially bH and I buy my kids and myself designer clothing but I still take hand me downs. And I give hand me downs! It’s part of the regular frum culture. It’s nothing to be ashamed of

Some of us feel pain at not being able to afford designer clothing for ourselves or our kids and only being able to use hand me downs…

amother

Currant

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 5:52 pm

amother Lightyellow wrote:

Asking where it’s from might make them think you’re going to run to the store and buy the same outfit. It’s enough to just say you love what they’re wearing.

I mean, so what if they are? If you can't handle another person getting the same clothes as you, you'll have to get custom designed clothes that no one else can get.

amother

Ginger

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 6:02 pm

amother Amaryllis wrote:

For YOU, it's nothing to be ashamed of. Because you're rich and buy designer clothing and you don't need to rely on hand me downs. (The hand me downs you take are probably designer as well......)
In certain communities and circles, where hand me downs and 2nd hand clothes are looked down upon, and target clothing is embarrassing, it's very painful to have to take hand me downs. It's probably painful for anyone that can't afford new clothing.

amother

Navy

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 6:12 pm

amother Jasmine wrote:

I find it so interesting. I am so proud to tell you that my great dress was a thrift find.
I am going shopping later today, and it is a little bit of a drive away from my community. If the sale is as expected I post on the WhatsApp group what the discount was, how much merchandise I found/they had and whether it is worth the shlep.

I love saying being able to say that my shaital which I get compliments on is actually a box and a dozen years old.

I got 2 compliments on my coat this week and gladly shared that I got it at Loehmann’s when my seminary age DD was in with me and in the stroller.

Why is it impressive to spend more? Looking good at paying a premium isn’t a skill, it’s for suckers. Looking like a million bucks on a dollar twenty five is something to be proud of.

Same here! I love telling people oh this is Old Navy or Target and they are like it’s gorgeous-they seem impressed that I have such good taste and found something so nice on a budget. On the other hand, I’m embarrassed to share if I’m wearing something truly pricey that they couldn’t afford as I don’t want to attract jealousy so In that case I usually play it down or change the subject.