How to deal with ungrateful kids

amother

Tue, Jan 03 2023, 6:34 pm

I get up very early and work full time. The second I get home around 5:30 I start warming up or cooking dinner. Kids complain about what I make. I say too bad, I can't accommodate every picky eater. Then they say they're starving and they want snacks all night.

I have laundry and cleaning and homework and a million other things going on.

They always need me every second. I can't stand it. I wish they could be self sufficient but they complain so much when I tell them to get their own food/drink/help with a chore.

How do you get kids to cooperate willingly? I spend tons of quality time with them, try to be fun, listen to them them every night before bed and they don't appreciate me at all.

amother

Snapdragon

Tue, Jan 03 2023, 6:37 pm

I’m pretty sure that’s all normal and that’s how many of our houses are with a bunch of kids.

Some days I handle it better than others. But yeah. Sounds pretty normal

How old are your kids? Maybe they can make themselves sandwich maker, eggs, oatmeal, avocado toast?

amother

Skyblue

Tue, Jan 03 2023, 6:39 pm

Don't give it attention and don't do everything for them. Anything that is age appropriate I walk them through, sometimes hand over hand, sometimes step by step instructions and then I say now you know how to do it, I remind them next time that they know how to do it. I also make a huge deal about things they do for themselves, so it gets way more attention than the whining.

amother

Lightcyan

Tue, Jan 03 2023, 6:40 pm

I know this will be an unpopular opinion, but I'm not shy to explain to my kids exactly what and how much I do for them. I'm also not afraid to make them say thank you. And I try not to spoil them and give them everything they want just because. Let the naysayers have their say, but my kids have turned out to be extremely grateful and unspoiled, BH.

Sometimes you just need to explain things. Kids are not mind readers, and they're not adults. It's our job to train them in good middos.

amother

Snapdragon

Tue, Jan 03 2023, 6:55 pm

amother Lightcyan wrote:

Of course we have to train them. Again I think it’s age. My 5 year old on their own at times says “you’re the best mommy/daddy. You do everything for me” or “thank you for doing xyz even though you really didn’t want to”

But my 3 year old or younger kid. Not really. And my 5 year old still had moments of not being happy with the food I make. Or for not buying them a certain thing. We teach them to say thank you and be happy for what we get. But yeah it’s a work in progress. I think age is big factor.