Should I put him back in diapers? Help

amother

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 12:01 pm

My son has been toilet trained for 2 weeks. He goes to the bathroom to pee but refuses to make poop on the toilet and keeps pooping in his underwear. His playgroup morah is not happy and I totally understand. He also cries in the morning that he wants to put on a diaper and I have to bribe him to put on underwear. Should I put him back in diapers? 😩

amother

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 12:05 pm

bsy wrote:

How old is he? If he's crying for diapers I would put him back in diapers.

Almost 3. I feel like if I give in to his tantrums I’m spoiling him. He’s a very stubborn child in general

bsy

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 12:12 pm

Is he anxious about accidents? It can be very pressuring. I would consider stopping and starting again in a few months.

mazeltov613

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 12:12 pm

He is young. Sometimes patience with the process is what’s needed. My son was “potty trained” for months but would still wait until his nighttime diaper was on to do #2. Just be loving and supportive and eventually it will click. I also find mitzvah notes about “listening to their body” help reinforce the positive behavior your looking to increase!

amother

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 12:17 pm

amother Dustypink wrote:

Give him a pull up for poops but otherwise underwear.

How do I do that? I don’t know when he’s going to poop.

amother

Impatiens

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 12:20 pm

Talk to him. Buy him a prize for making in toilet or chocolate. Maybe put him to sleep in underwear and take him to bathroom once a night

BrisketBoss

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 12:21 pm

amother OP wrote:

Almost 3. I feel like if I give in to his tantrums I’m spoiling him. He’s a very stubborn child in general

You're not giving in, you're recognizing that he isn't ready. No big deal.

It's like saying you're spoiling a 13mo by not putting any pressure on them to start walking and just watching to see what develops.

amother

Ecru

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 12:55 pm

Put a pull up for school only because it’s not fair to the Morah. At home , keep him in underwear and work on training him further.

amother

Milk

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 12:59 pm

amother OP wrote:

Almost 3. I feel like if I give in to his tantrums I’m spoiling him. He’s a very stubborn child in general

I just had this. I put him back in a diapers for a few weeks and tried again, this time it worked bH

amother

Aquamarine

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 1:00 pm

amother OP wrote:

How do I do that? I don’t know when he’s going to poop.

Does he tell you? My son was toilet trained for #1 pretty quickly but asked for a diaper for #2. He always told us when he needed one. After a few months, I toilet trained him for #2 as well. It's perfectly normal for the 2 to be done separately.

amother

Lemonlime

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 1:44 pm

My son couldn't handle the pressure. It took him a month after being trained for urine to do #2 only in the toilet. Stress can do a number on the system.

amother

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 1:59 pm

amother Aquamarine wrote:

No he doesn’t want to tell me and holds it in until he can find a place to hide and then poops in his underwear when he knows I’m not looking

BrisketBoss

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 2:03 pm

amother OP wrote:

No he doesn’t want to tell me and holds it in until he can find a place to hide and then poops in his underwear when he knows I’m not looking

Hiding can indicate constipation

Holding behavior can lead to chronic constipation

To me this is a sign to return to diapers for health reasons.

Edited to add: Naturally your toddler is stubborn. Toddlers are programmed to resist adult agendas. That's why if something has to happen, it's up to us. For example, we make the decision whether the child will wear diapers or not.

But we can't move their bowels for them. Our efforts to exert control in such an area can cause harm.

amother

Aquamarine

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 10:45 pm

amother OP wrote:

No he doesn’t want to tell me and holds it in until he can find a place to hide and then poops in his underwear when he knows I’m not looking

Do you think if you proactively tell him he can put on a diaper for #2 if he tells you he needs one, he would tell you? If so, that may be something to try before returning to diapers full-time.

amother

Whitewash

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 10:48 pm

I would put him in pull ups and show him you are putting his underwear in a special place to save for when he's ready.

I find that age very young for a boy. The poor kid is not comfortable. When he's really ready, it will be so much easier for you and him.

Listen to his needs.

amother

Navyblue

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 10:55 pm

Some kids are afraid of the toilet. Those little floor potties help my kids get over the fear. They’re annoying to clean out unless you get the bags. But shortly have using that we were able to switch to the toilet seats that have the steps attached.