How to react when baby gets hurt

amother

Thu, Jan 12 2023, 7:02 pm

My baby is still a baby not quite a toddler yet but getting there
What's the best way to react when baby hurts themself like from trying to walk I know not to make a big deal sometimes I try to distract with something else but I'm worried that's invalidating
Thank you

amother

Cantaloupe

Thu, Jan 12 2023, 7:13 pm

amother OP wrote:

Is that not too quick? Baby is still sobbing at that point

#1 thing is stay calm. No “oh my gosh!!!” No running in a panic (unless CV necessary).

Minor things I’d react like pp mentioned. Bigger deals with lots of sobbing I would probably say the same thing but sit them on my lap and cuddle them

#BestBubby

Thu, Jan 12 2023, 7:21 pm

Just be calm and re-assuring

"Oh, you got a boo-boo? Mommy will kiss it and make it better.

There, there - the boo-boo is going away"

Sometimes rubbing lightly the boo-boo helps it go away faster.

Maybe teach your toddler to "rub the boo-boo away"

mushkamothers

Thu, Jan 12 2023, 7:55 pm

amother OP wrote:

Give them words for what happened. So narrate it all. You fell, you tripped, you are crying so much, you did not want that to happen.

I dont like to solve the problem for them by offering hugs and kisses. If they come to me for it on their own, that's fine. But saying: you fell come get a kiss, just conditions them for it.

I posted a reel about this (showing my baby at 10m falling over his feet and im like oh you fell) which went viral with 6.5 million views and thousands of comments. Half were "you're a coldhearted, horrible mother" and the other half were "I'm an experienced teacher / grandparent / therapist and you are absolutely correct".

My kids are adventurous, daring and don't have to look over their shoulder for me. They don't burst into tears any time they fall. They can play independently on the playground from a year old.

They were not taught to suck it up, they were taught to pause, assess, acknowledge and deal with it. 90% of the time they can move on by themselves, the other times they do come to me for comfort.

And yes don't distract.

amother

Thu, Jan 12 2023, 7:59 pm

mushkamothers wrote:

Thanks for taking the time to respond I was really hoping you would!
So for example baby falls and bursts into tears
I say "oh you were trying to walk and you fell"
And then? Baby is still crying, what do I do now?