PLEASE HELP!!! 3 year olds outrages

proudmom

Thu, Oct 20 2005, 12:00 pm

My son of 3 years old has been going into a stage that he has to do everything on his own and everything has to be perfect.

For example my Dh and DS are leaving the house together my DH opens the door he freaks out and says he wants to do it. So my DH has to close the door inorder for him to open it himself.

On Yom Tov my DH gave him a meatball to eat, a peice of it broke off and he freaked out. He wanted another one because it was broken. He went into a temper tantrum, screaming and kicking until he got a new one. Of course none of us gave in.

This is only 2 stories how he is. there is so much more. Has anyone gone through this stage? How did you deal with it? how long did it take?

Tefila

Thu, Oct 20 2005, 1:25 pm

Quote:

My son of 3 years old has been going into a stage that he has to do everything on his own and everything has to be perfect

My dd is going thru the exact same thing it's making us all a bissel bazerk they will outgrow it , but in the meantime things that she can do we let her.
And sometimes it's just a no Wink

Purple Hug Bunny

Sat, Oct 22 2005, 11:21 pm

Just don't ever give in... the more you give in the harder it will be to break it.
If he screams, yells and kicks, put him into timeout room and tell him that when he is ready to be quiet he can come out, or set a timer for a few minutes.

Also, for example with the meatball, you can tell him that if he finishes that one he can get another whole one, that way, you both win.
I hope he grows out of it quickly.

stem

Sat, Oct 22 2005, 11:36 pm

Teach him to use words. If he wants to open the door and someone else did, make him say "Daddy, can I open the door by myself, please?" and then let him do it. If his meatball breaks, don't give in to his tantrums, wait till he's done and then tell him that if he wants a new meatball, all he has to do is say "This meatball is broken, can I have a new one please?" and then give him a new one. Stay calm, and show him that he will get what he wants only if he asks nicely. The fact that it's annoying for you is besides the point. It's a stage, and he'll grow out of it if you deal with it the right way.

raizy

Sun, Oct 23 2005, 1:19 am

sorry that is hundred percent normal!! kids in general dont like to eat anything that is broken chipped off etc. they also dont like any food touching each other.. never mind that the minete they start to eat everything gets all mixed up.
also the door is normal too. if hubby knows that your son loves to open the door why have a temper for that. .. let him. before he has a temper.
try to think ahead of them. one step ahead of the game. yes if they are yelling and screaming I do make them stop crying and then say nicely what they want. but why get them worked up for stupid little petty things.

Rivka

Sat, Oct 29 2005, 4:23 pm

My son is two and he he does this. If his cup has a bit of crumb on it he starts having a cow and I have to clean it...such a fuss pot...but then I think he's just like me, so I leave it at that.
He doesn't care if his food touches, but he likes to do stuff himself, if someone else is leaving the house and he wants to open the door I say it's tough, he can't do everything. I don't mind if he does it for himself.
Anyway it's their way of becoming more independent.
And they have tantrums because they are frustrated. You have to make them calm down and then let them do whatever.